What stereotype of your birth sex upset you the most?

[Nero]

What stereotype of your birth sex upset you the most?
Whilst in denial or before coming out, what stereotype pissed you off and made you say defiantely "Well, that can't be true of all men/women. I'm not like that!'?

[Jeannette]

That "men" don't cry!    What a load of tripe!

[Kate]

That all men are constantly obsessed with sex and "conquering" women as sexual objects.

~Kate~

[Doc]

That all women should want to be mothers and all girls want to play at being mothers.

[Berliegh]

What stereotype of your birth sex upset you the most?
Whilst in denial or before coming out, what stereotype pissed you off and made you say defiantely "Well, that can't be true of all men/women. I'm not like that!'?

I've never compllied with a stereotype image and never been in denial......We all have a different way in which we came into this and your question is like a stereotype in itself as you are stereotyping us all in the same box.....as being in denial or having to come out...



Posted on: September 23, 2007, 11:26:46 PM

That all men are constantly obsessed with sex and "conquering" women as sexual objects.

~Kate~

That's a good one Kate..

[Ms.Behavin]

Ha that real men don't like to cuddle.  proved them wrong.  No wait...DOH.  Oh well
Beni

[Nero]

What stereotype of your birth sex upset you the most?
Whilst in denial or before coming out, what stereotype pissed you off and made you say defiantely "Well, that can't be true of all men/women. I'm not like that!'?

I've never compllied with a stereotype image and never been in denial......We all have a different way in which we came into this and your question is like a stereotype in itself as you are stereotyping us all in the same box.....as being in denial or having to come out...

You're splitting hairs here. There is always a 'coming out' process even if one began living as their true gender in primary school. If one is TS, there had to be a point in one's life where they were assumed to be their birth gender.

[Butterfly]

"Men don't have long hair"  >sigh<

[Jessie_Heart]

men are supposed to be aggressive

[Christo]

'u gotta marry a good man'  I told my mom 'noooooooo dont wanna marry no dude & cry all nite' she never knew why.  now she do.

[Berliegh]

"Men don't have long hair"  >sigh<

That's a new one on me....I've had long hair since I was 11 (longer than it is now) and no one had ever complained about it.....

men are supposed to be aggressive

That's another new one on me.....I was never fed this kind of stuff...

I'm from the U.K so maybe it's differen't to America..

[katia]

that all men like women and that all women like men.  really?  i'm a woman and don't like men so go figure.

[Seshatneferw]

men are supposed to be aggressive

That's another new one on me.....I was never fed this kind of stuff...

Well, not quite aggressive, but how about 'strong', 'tough' or even 'intensely competitive'?

That's the main one for me. I distinctly remember the point where I disowned that kind of masculinity: a couple of decades ago in reserve officer training, one of the instructors jumped on me for not being sharp enough standing up to answer in class. My response -- not voiced, of course -- was essentially 'All right, sir, f* you too. I'll be what I am.' It took a long time to realise that he was in fact right in thinking I was not man enough. 

  Nfr

[Butterfly]

"Men don't have long hair"  >sigh<

That's a new one on me....

men are supposed to be aggressive

That's another new one on me........

Good..there's a first time for everything.  Obviously as people we aren't the same and are "fed" all kinds of tripe when young.

[Berliegh]

"Men don't have long hair"  >sigh<

That's a new one on me....

men are supposed to be aggressive

That's another new one on me........

Good..there's a first time for everything.  Obviously as people we aren't the same and are "fed" all kinds of tripe when young.

From the information I've read from people's posts it seems America is a much less liberal and harder country when it comes to gender stereotypes..than the U.K..

[Seshatneferw]

From the information I've read from people's posts it seems America is a much less liberal and harder country when it comes to gender stereotypes..than the U.K..

Not necessarily -- it depends a bit on just where, and even more on how you look at things. Also, by the way, Butterfly, Jeannette and I are European (and not from the most conservative regions, at that).

  Nfr

[Jessie_Heart]

most of the stereotypes I was fed as a kid came straight from my father. after I was grown it came to my attention that he secretely has sexual incounters with other men and at that point I realized that alot of times when someone is so against what they see as weaknesses in us and yell about and try to force or beat out of us it is only because what they see in us emphizies what they believe to be weaknesses in themselves and it angers them to be reminded that they are not the people they want everyone to think they are.

[MeghanAndrews]

That all men are constantly obsessed with sex and "conquering" women as sexual objects.
~Kate~

I agree 100% with Kate. "C'mon, let's do to a strip club," "Hey, check out that girl's butt," "Dude, don't tell me you wouldn't do her." Just some of the rude comments that left me feeling upset and feeling confused about myself, especially in my early 20's. I knew what I was in my head, but to confront it head on by guy's ignorance was a harsh lesson to learn.

I got to the point where I just stopped making comments and seeming to go along, I would say things like "Nah, that's not my thing," "You know girl's are more than just a piece of meat you make them out to be," and "I don't 'do' anyone, I don't believe in physical without feelings attached." It became easier and easier the more I took a stand.

Sure, I got the "what are you, gay?" comments from my friends all the time in the beginning, but who cares, I was being honest with myself. To me, Nero, this was just one more clue that I really didn't get my birth gender at all. Although, I know not all guys are like that, many of them I came into contact with were.

[Jessie_Heart]

Sure, I got the "what are you, gay?" comments from my friends all the time in the beginning,

I got to where I loved getting these comments because where ever we were I would make a scene by responding with
" to be honest yes and I have to admit I am just so into you will you marry me" as a joke and making sure people near heard it! my friends asking if I was gay after a few situations like that

[Doc]

Well, not quite aggressive, but how about 'strong', 'tough' or even 'intensely competitive'?

On a couple of similar notes:

The way if a male is a bit aggressive socially, he's 'strong' but if a woman displays the same level of aggression in the same context, she's being a type of bully that rhymes with 'twitch.'

Or. If a young girl (the effect seems to lessen for adult women) wants to participate in some stereotypical boy activity, she 'wants to compete with the boys' and show that 'girls are just as good as boys.' If a boy does it, he's doing it 'cause it's fun, but if a girl does it, it's because she's tough and aggressive and trying to prove something.

I was thinking about the "men don't cry" one and it occurred to me that there's a flip-side to that -- the irritating idea that women and girls do cry, all the time, and that if she's not crying she must not feel strongly about it, or be genuinely upset. Add another idea -- that women cry to be manipulative -- and you get a really wonderful catch-22. Whee. If she's not crying, she doesn't mean it. If she is crying, she doesn't really mean it, she's just crying so she'll get her way.