Hello all,
My name is Ella I am 26 year old from the UK. My birth name is Daniel but I prefer to be called Ella here ☺
This is all so new to me, this is my first ever first time here. I've posted on many online forums but not came across this one until now.
Well where to start, it's been an interesting journey my life. As a child I always knew I was unique and different to the rest. I've had a very tough few years growing up as the only child born into a family that is conservative doesn't help neither, it's more difficult when you have no siblings to talk to. I've had to raise myself up with having my dad working a lot he was unable to spend time with me as a child and my mother went through grieving after losing her mother to cancer. I had to learn things my own way.
As the years went by developed into this introverted private person. I don't meet many people, I don't often leave the house as much with my anxiety. I've coped with depression many times throughout my life. But naturally I overcame and fought it through the power of music. Music has always been there for me to guide me through life. It's what makes life so worth it. Ever since a young age I've always enjoyed listening to music.
Well let's get to why I'm here.
Now, I'm using this forum because I feel I need to because I am having a growing desire to become a woman. I can remember when I was 8 years old I questioned my gender about Why am I a boy and not a girl? I still think like this now but back then I had no idea what Transgender was. It wasn't until I reached 11/12 when I started to understand what it was. It was then I knew I was a Female living inside a male body. As a child and teenager I always acted like any other average guy, I have and always had a physical masculine appearance and attitude but underneath it all I felt I should have been the opposite, hiding my True self away from society just trying to fit into life I guess. To this present day I do the same but since I still with my parents it makes it even harder.
I like to think that someday I can become the person that I truly desire. I cannot live my life the way my parents expect me to live. If I was to tell them they'd disown me and throw me out. This is why I kept this a secret for many years. It's just amazing how I have kept this secret for so long and it feels good to get it out.
I have never discussed my true identity or sexuality to anyone. Only a few of my friends know I'm a gay. I came out gay to a fewgroup of friends 3 years ago and they have all been very supportive. These friends and of mine don't know my family and live far away but whenever I talk to them at least I can be half true with myself. I'm yet to reveal to all my friends that I am transgender. But what's shocking most of all a good friend whom I came across on aa Gay social app a few months ago is also Transgender, he came out a few weeks ago and only just started taking hormonal treatment. Even he doesn't know I'm Transgender yet but I will tell him first before I tell anyone else. My friend still prefers to be called male for the time being until he starts noticing further changes to his body. I totally respect his wishes. I was quite shocked when he came out as Transgender because he is like myself in a way.
When I'm able to move out and hopefully next year I can start becoming the real me.
Now the reason why I'm still at home with my parents is purely down to cost of rent and having no job. I have plans on moving away from my hometown because of this and other reasons.
I do hope to make new friends here and I look forward to chatting to you all in future.
