Problems with my mother

[WorkingOnThomas]

I had to call her tonight, needed to get someone's phone number. And I figured she might have calmed down some. Wrong. She started right in on me. Last thing though hurt more than anything else she said (and she had plenty to say) bit this was by far and away the worst thing anyone has ever said: "If your girlfriend wants a real man, then she should go out and find one".

She always knows how to dig the knife in. Always. Now I'm going to have that nasty little meme running around in my head for days.

I told her that hurt and was totally over the line. I hope she thinks about that, I really do. Because if I have to cut her out of my life entirely, I will.

Thomas

[FTMax]

I've cut people out for a lot less than that, so I think you're well within your rights to do so. I'm sorry she isn't taking it well.

[WorkingOnThomas]

I think I'm going to have to. She made me promise to call her after my appointment at the gender clinic next week to tell her what they said, and I really, really don't think that it's going to be a case "it's a huge mistake, I not trans, my bad, where's the nearest dress shop?" Which is clearly what she's hoping. And when it isn't, she's going to go off the deep end again. And I really really don't need this right now. Normally, I know she says stuff without thinking about it, and it isn't intentional if it's hurtful, but last night - that was something else. That was meant to undermine me, and (even worse) my relationship. I'm not having it. I have enough anxieties about being with someone as it is, without comments from the peanut gallery.

[Laura_7]

here are some resources that might help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

Sometimes cis people simply do not understand...
or have some restraints...

I'd say take a walk... get your head free... and concentrate on a few things that bring you joy...


*hugs*

[captains]

Oh jeez, dude, I'm sorry. Rough stuff. :/ My mom is big on the clueless cruelty (which I can forgive, albeit after a little wound-licking) but some of what yours has said is too much. Sucks that you have to deal with that.