Hard time picturing future as opposite gender?

[Jak of hearts]

So I've known for most of my life that I've wanted to be a female.  I recently started telling people that I'm going to transition (my wife and a few close friends).  The problem I'm having now is that now that it's happening I'm having a hard time picturing myself 10, 20, or 40 years down the road as a female.  I was wondering if anyone else encountered this problem?  I'm thinking it's just because I've spent the past 30 years imagining my life as a male that it's hard to rewrite those images.  Does it get better as you start transitioning and afterwards?  Is it just nerves now that I'm actually here and I'm getting nervous?  Help or advice would be appreciative.  I was so excited at first because it felt like everything was coming together but now im just nerve wracked.

[Dena]

I just kind of winged it for the last 35 years. My female life still includes many activities I did as male with a feminine touch. Any plans I had would have been totally destroyed by reality as I never thought I would meet my roommate and live with her for 30 years. My thoughts were mostly I would get my surgery and move back to Phoenix. Instead I spent all those years in Anaheim. Just think about the things you want to do and try to make them happen.

[Cindy]

I changed my life completely. I found friends, found hobbies, found a life and found happiness.

I found it really quite easy to move on as I had nothing where I was.

[suzifrommd]

The problem I'm having now is that now that it's happening I'm having a hard time picturing myself 10, 20, or 40 years down the road as a female.  I was wondering if anyone else encountered this problem?

It was certainly something that was heavily on my mind. I didn't want to be an old lady. But then again, I didn't want to be old, period. If I'm going to be old, at least I'll be my authentic self.

There is nothing like that - being able to be who I am, even if I never knew it before. True, I'd rather be 24 than 54 (though I don't know too many 24-year-old women who are especially happy. Many take a few decades to be fully comfortable with themselves), but being 54 and female is pretty great!

I hope this helps.

[Jessirules]

Your only as old as you feel. Dont go by a number. Just find yourself and enjoy the ride!

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[Katiepie]

Its not necessarily living life as a female/male, but more in tune to living life as your true you. There is no one way to live a life in which we have already planned in our "previous" life, the ideals and principles that society paves the road, as well as, growing into our rebirth in which we shall bloom into who we are. The road has many bumps, and twists, forks, spoons, sporks, etc... There will be just about no bounds to shackle us into the prison we ultimately call "the norm."
We all walk a life so different from one another the only carbon copy is if anyone has an identical twin, even justly so twins do live very separate lives and have a thought pattern their very own.

Just think of it this way, do you see yourself living as the authentic you down the road? I see a big fat yes about this question.

Kate <3

[Northern Jane]

Though I had lived en-femme as much as possible before transition/SRS at age 24, I really had no idea what lay ahead or the kind of person I would become. I didn't start out with any particular goal or even direction but just let life unfold and went along for the ride.

Within a couple of years I realized that I had become the kind of girl I had always idolized - even MORE! I was the polar opposite of everything I was in my 'previous life' and it was wonderful.

[JoanneB]

... I'm having a hard time picturing myself 10, 20, or 40 years down the road as a female.  I was wondering if anyone else encountered this problem? 

I been have a hard time imagining my life 1 year out for like the past....50 some years now? Forget 10, 20, 30 or 40! Male or female. I learned (OK almost) that I suck at predicting  future outcomes when it comes to my personal life.

The question reminds so much of a time earlier in life during the birth of the PC when I was working for a company that basically it's designs & products were driven by the much larger universe of electronics. The company was brought out by a power switchgear  company (as in big ass utility & grid stuff). All of us barely held back the laughs when in a meeting with the management team we were asked about 1 year, 2 year, 5 year plans. Good ole Soviet Union style.  Long story short, inside of 1 year our 30 Million dollar company had sales down to a few mil a year.

Yep, 5, 10, 20 year plans are bound to work out

[Jak of hearts]

Thank you all for the replies.  I'm feeling a little better about it.  It's getting less nerve wracking with each passing day.  i had a long talk with my wife about the future and started settling on a name, both of which I think helped.

[warlockmaker]

For those of us who have lived a full life as a male this question is always asked. But HRT changed my perspective in life and I find now that I just live my life as I see fit. I naturally act and feel normal, I don't  really see it as female, it's just me.

I read that those of us that transition later in life  that it is more difficult, on the contrary, I have achieved all that I can as a male living in a fog . I find I don't need to plan ahead,  it seems to just be fairly natural.  Yes, I do find my love of certain activities have changed but I  have new ones. I  already have new friends that I enjoy so much more, it's so much more real. Each day is a journey of knowledge.

I'm  a bhuddist and I live for the moment. I learn from the past and don't dwell on the future. It just seems that events just naturally fall into place. I had visions before this journey of a future but that future is not real - I'm living each day the life I was ment to live. Just enjoy.

[Obfuskatie]

Before transition I mostly wanted to run away from my problems and travel and stuff. Now I want to settle in a trans-friendly area and travel and stuff when I have the time. My sex doesn't really change any of that, it just makes it easier for me to inhabit my body and life when I present and am treated as a woman. When I think of my life in the future, it's a lot easier to plan and imagine now that I've come so far in my transition. Before, it was much more difficult to see any of my dreams come true.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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[ToniB]

I have only been full time for about a Year but I cannot possibly even consider the thought of even Trying to go back to the Way I was . I was always meant to be a woman and having started living a true life nothing else will ever be possible again

Toni

[newlady]

Ive just been reading all the comments on this thread and i feel so much better  . ive worried so much about this and what the future holds for me, but now I'm going to just let it happen. i can't wait to see how my life develops though.
my male life is spent, completely burnt out. there was nothing left. It seems from some of the comments that being a 50 something lady is really look forward to !

Hugs

Bernadette   (((^_)) 

[ToniB]

Hi newlady

I can state that without a shadow of a doubt that transitioning was the right thing for Me I am now 60 and started my transition about February this Year so I can attest that its never too late .I have entirely dropped my old Male self everything I had that related to Him has gone I now only have the feminine world around Me and I feel so much more comfortable in this World I am lucky in that all My family and My Wife's family have embraced my female self and as mentioned my wife is getting there .Work could not be better most people I talk to at work say I am a much nicer Person since I transitioned .So I sincerely hope that things go as well for You as they did for Me .PS I did find being open and honest with everybody and being prepared to talk to and explain how You feel helps a lot in getting people on side .People are surprisingly accepting if You are open about what is going on .Just be yourself You are entitled to be happy do not let fear stop You as most people really will be OK .well that is what I have found

[Denise]

Jak -  THANK YOU for asking this question.  You put into words what I've been trying to wrap my head around for a bit now.

All respondents - THANK YOU for answering you have helped at least two people.  I especially liked WarLockMaker's answer:

I'm  a bhuddist and I live for the moment. I learn from the past and don't dwell on the future. It just seems that events just naturally fall into place. I had visions before this journey of a future but that future is not real - I'm living each day the life I was ment to live. Just enjoy.

[FTMax]

I changed my life completely. I found friends, found hobbies, found a life and found happiness.

I found it really quite easy to move on as I had nothing where I was.

Agree with this. As the medical aspect of my transition dwindles down to just one more obstacle to tackle, this is largely what I'm leaning towards. I had nothing that I was over the moon about prior to transitioning. Now, I feel like at the very least I have possibilities.

I have a hard time picturing exactly what my life will be like later on. I'm being pulled in a few different directions at the moment employment-wise, and I'm hoping everything will be a lot clearer this time next year. I think once that is straightened out, I'll have a much better idea of what things will be like at 30, 40, and on.

[Qrachel]

Life all happens in the present.  We can live into a future and we do a lot but our ability to have the future as we planned it is fraught with with the old adage, "Life is what happens while planning for it."

I'm 15 years into my awakening and transition; I am now 73 now.  Life looks something like I hoped it would and a lot like I could have never imagined it early on.  Actually, I'm glad it turned out as it did because being the true me has had such a profound impact that back in the day imaging me posting here on Susan's Place was unimaginable . . . and that's just one small slice of life as I live into my future newly each day.

Sooo, I suggest you focus on today/tomorrow, the proverbial next step, and in time a future will unfold for you.  Transitioning is such a powerful life experience that planning for life after transitioning seems limiting - consider that now might be the time to let your imagination fly and for you to experience the flights of fancy that comes with becoming who you truly are.

I'll go out on a limb here and say you haven't met the new you yet as s/he has to grow a ton yet now/once freed from the hiding.

Take care,

Rachel

[newlady]

I'd like to reply to all of you on here and say a massive thank you. you've all given me so much hope and encouragement.  Before joining this site i thought id go crazy, now I'm so happy and becoming who i really am. and the future looks... well amazing. i worried about everything, age, looks family etc, but its all coming together, i read your stories and the way you've conquered everything, i know its not been easy but now i know i can do it too.
im so looking forward to meeting and being the girl inside who's been shut away for so long.
love and hugs,

Bernadette.

[Debra]

It is definitely hard to picture at teh beginning. It helped for me personally to crossdress, wear a wig, wear makeup, etc. As time went by though, I just looked and felt more female. Now it's hard to remember what it was like trying to be male sometimes.

[Ms Grace]

Not to belittle your concerns but I have been full time for 19 months now and concerns about "me as a woman in ten, twenty or thirty years" just do not figure in my outlook. Usually I'm more focussed on what I'm going to wear each day and I'm happy to leave it at that. I know I will be whoever I am, however my life has shaped me, in one, five, ten years. I'm not a fortune teller, if I think back to where I was in life ten years ago there's no conceivable way I would have expected then that I'd be here today. Worrying about the future just takes your focus off living your life in the here and now.