Pronouns

[Denise]

I'm just starting (VERY EARLY, like a few weeks) on the MtF transition.  Not sure how far I'll go nor how long it will take.  One thing I'm absolutely NOT comfortable with are female pronouns directed at me.  It has not happened as well it shouldn't since I'm still 100% male mode. 

Did it take anyone else time to accept and/or be comfortable with female pronouns and/or a new name?

[Fids]

Hi I'm a trans man but I just thought I'd add my two cents.

The same was true for me for a bit when I started asking my friends to use he/him. It's not that I didn't want them to use those pronouns, it just felt forced or like I was faking it or something. 

The same goes for my chosen name. It feels fake or unreal, I guess, like I'm trying to force something. But I'm not comfortable using my legal name either. I would rather use a nickname but my nickname doesn't really function well as a "real" name. I haven't been using the name for very long at all, which I know is 100% of the reason I'm uncomfortable with it.

Because now I've been using he/him for 6 months and it feels very natural, and I get quite upset when other pronouns are used. I think it is natural to have some amount of discomfort to start out.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi pj,

Quite normal for you to having feelings like this at this point in time. After all you are starting to remap your mind from everything it has know and learnt in the past. This new identity you are taking on, covers a wide area of your psychological state.

For me, I had known about myself for a long time and was primed, ready and raring to go.

Speak to you as soon as I fold the sheets.

Huggs
Catherine

[Ms Grace]

I couldn't wait for the female pronouns - so much so that pre transition I corrected the male pronouns in my head.

[Juliett]

Before i transitioned, life was hell. I had a much harder time trying to pass as male. All my life, people called me ma'am on the phone, it was only natural when they did it face to face too.

[Cindy]

I think your feelings are totally natural.

I changed my name to Peta Cindy (Cindy as my middle name) as my male name was Peter I felt some comfort in hearing my familiar moniker. It lasted about a week . Then I just told everyone my name was Cindy, I'm female and I expect female pronouns. I announced at work that I'll correct you once, after that you get me full on furious. Very few people wanted to face my anger more than once.

I ironed the sheets, folded them and put them in the linen cupboard.

[suzifrommd]

Did it take anyone else time to accept and/or be comfortable with female pronouns and/or a new name?

I'm two and a half years full-time and I STILL am not comfortable when people use female pronouns to refer to me. It has to do with the nature of my transition. Most of the changes (SRS, voice work, clothing wig, hrt) are superficial. In my mind, I'm still the guy with the lifelong wish to be female.

I've gotten used to the fact that I may never see myself as female. Living as a woman and being seen as a woman is more than enough for me.

[Peep]

I've not requested them yet - I expect it to be weird at first but I still want it... I use male pronouns in my head already and it seems right. I'm starting to find female ones irritating.

My legal name has always sounded weird to me so I expect a new one will too, but I'm used to that so it doesn't bother me.

[lisarenee]

I never had a problem with people using female pronouns. But, I have known I was trans since I was 12, and as a result of growing my hair long, gynecomastia, and a voice that didn't drop until I was halfway through high school, I was frequently gendered female as a teenager...AND I LOVED IT. The only thing that I didn't like was that if my dad was nearby, he would make a loud and vocal point of "correcting" (sic) the person.

[Khatru]

Yeah in the beginning when I just started using he/him pronouns and people used those + my new name it felt really forced and unnatural, I actually felt a bit bad when people called me he. Now that it's been a couple of months it's starting to feel natural, and I really like being referred to as a man, or when people call me Dorian instead of my birth name. =) So yes, for me it took some time.

[Kylo]

I don't think I'm going to ask people to specifically use pronouns on me but I'll wait and see what they do. I imagine the more male I begin to look the more ridiculous it's going to be if they keep using female pronouns. I want to see what the power of appearance can do in my situation and if people naturally come around to it. I also don't really mind if people choose not to use my new name because my old name is gender neutral anyway. I've heard many stories of trans people telling their relatives, friends, coworkers etc. to use desired pronouns and either succeeding or failing to have others adapt to them. I wonder what will happen if I don't say anything and just allow my transition to run its course.

A few people know about it already, ofc, but for those who don't or who have shown minimal interest, I'd like to see if they "come around" on their own.

[sparrow]

Did it take anyone else time to accept and/or be comfortable with female pronouns and/or a new name?

If those pronouns are uncomfortable to you, why use them?  I'm happy with she/her applied to me, and I'm still comfortable with he/him, but I vehemently dislike being called either a woman or a man.  I'm a person.

Like TKGW, I'm mostly taking a wait&see approach.  If hormones magically make me pass as female and strangers start using she/her to describe me, then I'll probably change my name, either to something gender neutral or typically female.