Is it okay to not want to be on T?

[thescoot]

I posted a variation of my own post on another section of the transgender forums, but I want to wrap up a quick one here:

My name is Alan and I am 20 years old. I mostly just want the chest surgery because I am passing for a young male with my binder on, if androgynous (I'm fine with that!). I'm on birth control for polycystic ovarian syndrome which means I should NOT be on T in the first place, even if I was considering it. I have mitral valve prolapse so I am on heart medication for that. I also have chronic depression from my mother's side. So basically-- if I was considering T, it would hurt more than help my body.

I now know you don't have to be on T before getting the chest surgery (and that relieves me to no end). I don't want to be on T and actually, because of my POS condition, I have had higher doses of regular testosterone already in me that has already begun to affect my body and facial hair.

But I'm not wrong for not wanting to be on T, right? I've been scared of answers for so long and I've talked to a few people about it and my doctor and they've told me no, I shouldn't feel so out of the loop, that this is me dealing with my own transition and acceptance of myself. Nevertheless, I always feel a bit paranoid that people would think me some "monster" or a fraud.

[Elis]

Of course it's okay . There is no 'right' way to be trans. Many trans men only want to start with chest surgery before T or many don't want T all together bcos of the health risks or many start T and are either happy with the results enough to want to stop or realise it's just not for them. Yes I'm sure some people (whether cis or trans) will disprove of you not wanting T bcos they think it's a necessity to be a 'real' man. But don't let them get to you. You're a man bcos YOU say you are, not bcos of your hormones. I hope I helped.

[WorkingOnThomas]

I'm not on T yet, and I'm already a man. I just don't look like the man that I want to look like. So long as you're happy with you, that's all that matters.

Thomas

[Alexthecat]

Do what you want first. I had top surgery first and it made a huge difference. I am still not decided on T yet but a time will come when you will know if just top surgery is enough for you or you will want more.

[captains]

Of course, dude. Whatever keeps your dysphoria in check. I probably won't go on T either. (I'm not ready to transition socially, so I'm doing the minimum I while managing my gender related distress. So, top surgery ASAP and the rest as it comes.)

Tons of guys hold off on T, or do it later down the road. From the vehemence of your posts, it sounds like HRT wouldn't be a great fit for you rn. No big.

[carnuatus]

It's totally okay to not want to be on T! Not every trans person wants or needs surgery and hormones to be happy with themselves. I think that is one majorly harmful thing about not only the gaze imposed by cisheteronormativity but something we have promoted in our community. It's especially okay considering you have reasons for seriously NOT wanting to be on T. Everyone expresses their gender differently, everyone transitions differently! Not to mention non-binary folks, many of which have no desire for hormones or surgery.
Cheers!
Jex

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[talex]

Totally fine to not want T! I've been on and off it at different times in my life. There is no 'right' way to transition other than the way that's right for YOU.