So, hey... Well, I'm a 16 years old, born male. Okay, first of all, let me start by telling my story so far. I would like to apologize for any spell or grammar mistake, since I am brazilian.
So, when I was a child (4-5 years old), I remember about my curiosity in being a girl. Nothing serious, only coming back when I was 11 years old. That was when the thoughts got harder and more frequent. I already knew what "transexual" meant, but I avoided thinking on this... Everytime I thought why of the thinkings, I just shaked my head and tried to think in something else. And, at 11 years, it was the first time that I cross dressed. I was alone at home, and saw my mother's dress in there... You know, I always wanted to prove it. And so I did. Looking at myself in the mirror, I felt incredibly good. But it only last seconds, until I took it off together with a bra that I was using and fell on the couch, ashamed, almost crying. But, sometome later, I did again. The result was exactly the same. You know, I never was attracted to CD, but by seeing me more feminine I felt so damn good. It's important to say that, at the same time that I felt attracted to girls, I felt jealous of them. Of their bodies, clothes, the way they were treated... When I was 12, as soon as I discovered about masturbation, my first and main fantasy was about me as a girl. This may sounds a bit ridiculous, actually, but it lasted until these days. Anyway, let's continue. Soon, still at 12, I discovered that there were stories and comics related to gender bender, boy turning into girls and this kind of stuff on the internet. I don't think that I need to say that I was in heaven. But, at the same time, I was practically allergic to the words "transgender" and "transexual". I avoided thinking why I liked that stuff and even never cross dressed again. With time, I discovered about ->-bleeped-<-. I thought " Oh so this is normal! Just a fantasy! It will be a phase and soon it will pass!"
Well, it didn't. I even created a fake account on a site, sometime ago, without photo or name, presenting myself with the gender "Other", letting clear that I would like to be treated as female. And when this first happened, I almost cried. Okay, maybe I overeacted, but... It never happened before and I dreamed about this for a lot of time. That was when I concluded that it wasn't only a fantasy... It wouldn't last so many years. I researched and discovered that ->-bleeped-<- isn't accepted. So, I got a bit reliefed. But I'm about to freak out...
We finally got on my current situation. I want it, I don't want to hide it anymore... I want to be female, but don't know how to procceed. My father is extremely conservative, while my mother is extremely acceptative. I want talk to her, but I don't know how... I don't want to hide myself anymore. I just want to be who I am... Transioting in sometime is something that I would love to do. Starting by seeing a good therapist and et cetera. But before everything, I have to tell my parents, my friends, about how I feel. But I don't know how... Could someone help me to know how to do this? If yes, please...
