Finally about to take the first step

[T90]

Ok so I guess telling my Doctor was the first step, but this feels like the first real step.

If you've read some of my other posts then you'll know I was referred to a psychologist for my dysphoria all the way back in June. Finally today I got confirmation of my first appointment, which will be in a little over three weeks time. It's felt like a hell of a long wait just to get to this stage, so I'm really pleased I don't have long to go now. 

[Sigyn]

Woo hoo! Be honest! you'll get there.

[T90]

I actually miscalculated a little with the dates...it's only really 2 weeks until my appointment. I'm kind of glad I did miscalculate though, because now I feel like I've skipped ahead a week. 

[T90]

My first session is tomorrow. Nervously excited for it. 

Of course, in typical fashion, the session is falling at a time when my dysphoria is at its minimal level, though I shall discuss how it feels when at its maximum level, as I know for a fact that it will return.

[Rp1713]

I started seeing a therapist about a month ago. I totally understand feeling nervous, but honestly you can't beat the feeling when you walk out of there. It's great to have someone you can express all the thoughts and feelings you've been having, and it can make you think about things differently/ healthily because they understand the topic and want to help you find out more about yourself.

I found that regardless of the level of dysphoria you are feeling that day, If you are open with them and yourself you will still be able to express what you've been struggling with. I have another appointment on Monday, it's been almost two weeks, but this week I have felt better and more comfortable with myself and how I want to live my life. I find myself thinking I can't wait to tell my therapist some of the positive feelings and experiences I've been having, and continue to grow and better understand who I am and want to be. I hope for nothing but the same for you!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[T90]

Thank you for the lovely words Rp1713. 

I do remember feeling fantastic when I left the Doctors surgery, after I told my Doctor for the first time, which resulted in my being sent to therapy.

I'm very much looking forward to what the outcome will of these sessions will be.

[Rp1713]

Just focus on you and what you're comfortable with! I keep trying to remind myself I should be in no rush to see where I'll end up. It's all part of the journey.  I repressed a lot of things for a long time but now that I'm starting to open my eyes to what I've been going through, I see I can't change what I didn't do in the past to make myself feel better, but that I have the power to take whatever steps necessary to me to see where I can go and who I can be!

I don't know about you, but the scariest part to me right now is telling the rest of the world. my therapist and my very supportive girlfriend are currently the only people that know anything. But I've come to realize that's okay until I'm truly ready.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Rp1713]

Best of luck with your appointment today! I hope it's everything you want and need right now!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[T90]

Thank you.

The appointment went really well. I have to say that it was one of the shortest hours of my life. I thought I'd only been there for about twenty minutes when our time was up. Having never spoken, in depth, about my feelings to anyone before, it felt really bizarre to be talking to someone so openly about it. My therapist was lovely though, and I'm pleased to say she was female, so it went really well.

The plan going forward is for me to attend six more therapy sessions, one every two weeks, starting in the new year. At the end of that, when hopefully I'll have more of an understanding of what I want to achieve, my therapist said it's likely she'll write me a referral to the Gender Identity Clinic.

So...things are now in motion. 

[Rp1713]

Congrats! It's definitely important you feel comfortable with your therapist so I'm glad to hear that. I totally know what you mean! The sessions fly by but the feeling afterwards is so wonderful! Happy it was a positive experience for you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[JB_Girl]

Congratulations! The journey to yourself has begun.  As with all pilgrimages the destination is secondary to the process of seeking.  I've been seeking gender authenticity for about four years and have yet to settle on the letter of the alphabet that best describes me.  I live as a woman, but that is incomplete.  I do not think that gender needs to be a binary decision, nor is it static.  All that said, to live relatively free from dysphoria, and in an accepting community is not only a dream, but a worthy goal for a life's work.

Ming