Depression is bad lately. Body dysphoria?

[NayOMI]

Hi all. I've been depressed lately for a lot of reasons. (School, body dysphoria, my dad recently had a stroke, etc...)

I was wondering get if I could get some encouragement and advice. Mainly from people who have transitioned from 22~25.

I've been feeling horrible about my current man body. I know the older you get the more irreversible the effects are of not being on hrt. I get so depressed sometimes that as soon as I get home I won't eat for a couple of days or I'll just lay on my couch motionless.

Are there any ladies here who began transitioned at 22~25  and got decent results? My friends who are trans started at 17 and look absolutely amazing. It angers me. It angers me that I'm going to be below average. My hips won't widen, my breasts will look weird. I have a ton of man fat to loose. I know the point of transition is to be yourself... but I can't help feeling this way. This anger and jealously isn't good. Does anybody have any advice to get over it. It has gotten to the point where I have to bite my arm to calm down my rage. =/ I'm sorry if that is disturbing. I am just that upset at myself.

The thing that depresses me the most is the fact that everyone that I have seen has transition is usually never black... everybody. I am of color. It makes me feel like utter poopie when I can't find any trans women of color like me. =/ I go to YouTube only to see beautiful transwomen giving myself unreal expectations. I was elated to start transition in a couple of years or so forth but now I am just angry at myself.

How do I let go of this bs. I want to go over my anger and jealousy.  Mostly for health reasons (my blood pressure is insanely high from it I think)

[Lady_Oracle]

Woman of color here (latina) who transitioned early 20s. What sort of of advice are you looking for?

I have depression most of my life but now that I'm living post transition life, it's much more manageable. I technically started transition at 19 but didn't start hormones till 21. Anyways I had some pretty awesome results but like I lucked out I guess.

Best thing you can do for yourself at this point is to vent your emotions out, talk to someone in person about your feelings whether its a friend, family member, a therapist would be ideal. Also focus on doing little things for yourself like body hair removal, get eyebrows waxed in fem shape (makes huge diff) Start reading up on fashion and learning how to dress for your body type. Start practicing yoga and work on posture and dont forget to start voice training!!!!! I managed to get my voice down before I even started hrt, so it's not impossible. Once you have your voice, I can't begin to describe how much that helps relieving dysphoria.