Shirtless modesty?

[Aazhie]

Okay, so sx on Nov 10th and very excited and terrified  XD  I have a bajillion questions but the only one I haven't seen asked that I could find in my recent searches is:

How do you feel about being shirtless in public,not necessarily outside?   I am kind of wierded out by the idea of my family seeing me topless someday.  8C

I'm sort of modest- like I was always relatively okay undressing in gym because at the time I felt relatively fem and safe amongst girls in the locker rooms. It was usually no big deal to quickly change clothes or get in/out of bathing suits at a female friend's house. But since I have been an adult I can think of about five people who have seen me topless/braless and now binderless.

The scars don't bother me in theory, I suppose I shall see how things go and see if they are scarier in person.  But I generally approve of scars in most senses. Certainly I like the idea of having them much more than I like having a fem chest! I figure my generic response if anyone ever asks will be 'cut myself while cooking', 'Disney animatronic attack' or other smarta** response I can come up with on the fly, that doesn't worry me.

I am curious how those of you are a fairly post op dealt with any 'scandalous' feelings, or if you even had them at all?  I seriously just cannot be pleased with the idea of my parents and sister seeing my unclad, manly chest as a casual thing.  It's just weird to me and I am sure I will get over it some day. WEIRD!

[FTMax]

I was pretty modest pre-everything. But that was mostly dysphoria related. I didn't want to see me naked, why would anyone else?

But now I don't care at all. I had surgery at the end of April. I hung out shirtless as soon as all my bandages were off/drains were out. My roommates were very cool about it. My mom, despite being all for me transitioning and having surgery, is mortified by my scars and thinks they're ugly. My dad/stepmom think they're kind of cool but otherwise had no comment. Girlfriend likes them.

I went to a pool party on the 4th of July and no one asked me about them. I don't know if my friend who was hosting said anything to her relatives that were present. None of them treated me any differently than the other guys. There was one guy who was clearly very interested in where they were from, but he didn't ask until someone else asked how my recovery was going. And even after an honest explanation, he did not believe that I was trans. I've never had to make up an explanation.

I haven't had any kind of scandalous feelings about it. I'm sure other people have maybe felt awkward about it, but I feel great so I honestly don't care.

[Dena]

I went the other way and was pretty modest before my surgery but the hospital and surgery has a way of removing all of your modesty. I am always properly dressed but I wouldn't be bothered by somebody seeing me naked.

[Aazhie]

ha ha! Thank you both, feeling much better.    I'm actually not terribly squeamish about getting naked for hospital things, it's mostly the gross out factor of being unclothed in front of family XD  I guess I didn't count being undressed in front of and poked by doctors doing health exams.  A random doc and a speculum doesn't bother me as long as they don't clamp a piece of me in the darn thing OW

[Bimmer Guy]

ha ha! Thank you both, feeling much better.    I'm actually not terribly squeamish about getting naked for hospital things, it's mostly the gross out factor of being unclothed in front of family XD  I guess I didn't count being undressed in front of and poked by doctors doing health exams.  A random doc and a speculum doesn't bother me as long as they don't clamp a piece of me in the darn thing OW

Yes, the being around family with no shirt is the uncomfortable thing.  I spent the first half of my recent recovery from hysto at my mother's house and there were times I did not have a shirt on.  She was definitely uncomfortable (and I was at first, too), but I think she moved through it.  I did, anyway.  When you're in pain, you don't care too much what people are thinking.

[blink]

Post op. Never planned on taking my shirt off in public and I don't. Too many people for my liking would guess what the scars are really from and the damage would be done, no matter what I might make up about lung surgery (which admittedly can look exactly top surgery scars), and the nipples healed weird, which I don't think the lung surgery excuse covers. Alone, shirt's usually off, there's some cosmetic issues but the dysphoria is gone and that was the point. If I know people other than my spouse are around, I keep my shirt on, but it's not a horrifying experience for me if someone incidentally sees my chest.

[harlee]

Post op. Never planned on taking my shirt off in public and I don't. Too many people for my liking would guess what the scars are really from and the damage would be done, no matter what I might make up about lung surgery (which admittedly can look exactly top surgery scars), and the nipples healed weird, which I don't think the lung surgery excuse covers.

I feel exactly the same! Hopefully I'll be able to change my mind in a few years time

[FTMax]

If it makes either of you feel better, that pool party I mentioned in my first post had upwards of 50 people at it who didn't know me. No looks, no comments. It was a fairly diverse crowd too. Unless you're in an area where trans folks are a dime a dozen, I wouldn't worry too much about people connecting the dots.

I forgot to add, I saw the dude who wouldn't believe I was trans (after seeing me shirtless, wondering where my scars were from, and me telling him honestly) over Labor Day weekend. He still doesn't believe that I'm trans and thinks I have a very weird sense of humor for saying I was Thanks testosterone for turning me into a small hairy bear.

[Big Stitch]

I have never been modest shirts have always been too confining and so after surgery it was normal for me to be shirtless as much as possible everywhere I could manage. I would say what dictated how the situation went was how I went into it. I keep relaxed and go about my business as if I was home alone. Sure there might be some surprise or extra long looks but I can't say its has ever come up as a topic of conversation. In my experience guys at the gym try and not look at each other as it is. For my family my brothers normally wear muscle shirts as lounge wear or no shirt at all so it was not unheard of for me to do the same. There was some shyness on their part the first time I went topless but it all settled quickly. For me it was a lot more shocking the first time my brother and I wound up in the same restroom at a bar.

[2fish]

I'm 3 months post-op. My family didn't want to be there when I had it done. I did show my brother and he was a little squeamish. When I described my scar placements to my sister she shivered. I'm pretty sure my mother would have a heart attack and my dad would just fall flat on his face. Will I ever take my shirt off in front of them? That's a good question. If I consider their squeamishness the answer is no, I won't. But, if I'm hot and drenched in sweat, I really don't give a damn what they think. I'll just make sure that they land in either sand or grass. lmao

My brother doesn't like to be shirtless most probably because he has really bad acne scars. My step dad is usually shirtless.

If I'm in my own house I'll definitely be shirtless; however, if I'm at their house I won't.

My family is still getting used to my transition and I don't visit much. I started transition while living with them and didn't tell them. I decided that it was best if I just didn't say anything. They did figure it out and realized it wasn't as bad as they predicted but still get gendered as female and my birth name is used. I did move out shortly after starting t. I can't blame them for gendering me female since we never had "the trans talk".

[Jesiah]

I thought it would be weird, at least for a little while, having my shirt off or even being in a muscle shirt in front of my family. But it really wasn't for me. I run a little bakery with my Ma and it gets pretty hot in the kitchen at times. I asked her one day while changing out of my flour covered shirt and she thought it would be awkward at first too.
But modesty just isn't something that we've ever had, and it's taken years for me to be able to get top surgery, so Ma also had all of that time to get accustomed to the idea of how I'd look post op. Can't wait until next summer to be able to just walk down the street with no shirt!

[Tossu-sama]

I wouldn't go shirtless in the public as of now mainly because my scars are still very visible. They're red and stand out from my lovely Northern European skin color. As much as I don't give a damn what other people think, I want to keep my stealth status alive now that I finally have it. I suppose it could be a problem in a locker room but I can always say that my back is riddled with acne - which it is - so I'm just protecting everyone's eyes.

At home, though? Sure, I'll go shirtless if it's hot. At my mom and stepdad's? Why not. They are supportive and okay with my transition so they can deal with me and my scars as well. Then again, I don't visit them that often because of the distance and me lacking a car so... ah well.

[Kylo]

I guess we FTMs are socialized to be modest - or ashamed of our chests, even if we weren't already bothered by them. That's a lifetime of conditioning to undo or deal with one way or another. Personally I'm so used to dressing down and covering up I doubt I'd fling my shirt off the second I get my stitches out.

But then again, I do live right next to a damn nice beach, and I've always wanted to learn to surf...