Hi folks! I'm back. I've been away getting my head screwed on right. When last here, I unwittingly offended against the rule of advocating particular herbs and brands of herbs. I left in a minute and a huff, as Groucho said. But I have since understood the restriction, and as this is a superior TG forum, I decided to return. Sorry for my earlier tiff.
I am a comfortable androgynous male, gradually transitioning. I have been actively doing so for 7 months now, and am seeing (and, more important, feeling) some positive results.
I may have mentioned earlier that I can remember when my transgender orientation was activated, at age three. I would have said 'implanted' when I bought the therapeutic nonsense about my TG identity being a form of abuse. If I am repeating myself, please excuse me.
I was walking with my father in Hollis, Queens, NY, probably on the way to getting a coke. We turned the corner from 204th St onto Hillside Ave, and he stopped and said "I understand you've been playing with yourself down there. Better stop, or you'll turn into a girl."
This statement inflamed me with desire, which he probably took for embarrassment. I am sure my kinky aunt put him up to it, as she had caught me pleasuring myself a little earlier and said she would tell my father. I promised to stop. That was my first lie and the beginning of my secret life in an uncomprehending family. It also seemed to gift me with eidetic memory, at least in connection with erotic feelings. It happened in 1947 or 1948, but may as well have been last week.
Well, enough of how I started. I have felt separate from standard maleness ever since, but apart from the feeling of isolation, I have never been aware of dysphoria per se. I am happy in my journey.
Yours,
IanBrianna
