Hello all,
So I am pretty new to this site. I've been on here reading the forums a few times over the last year(ish) but only just tonight made an account, so I thought I should do one of these introductions and start being involved as the forums on here have helped me a lot over the last year(again... ish, lol).
Anyways. I was born 29 years ago as a male. Over the course of my life, I've tried to be more masculine (not overly, mind you, really just enough to be considered "male"). I've always had somewhat feminine traits (the way I sit has pretty much always been "feminine" in that I often tuck my feet under my body, place my hand where my neck and head meet to support it rather than resting the side of my head against my fist, etc.). However, I've always had an interest in crossdressing. When I was very young (about 1st grade) I started trying on my sister's clothes and by the time I was in Jr. High I found my sister's old make up box from when she was in elementary school and started experimenting with that. All of this was always something that I would do for a little while when I had the chance (a.k.a. home alone) and then I would stop for a period of time before eventually going back to it.
My wife and I have been together for 8 years (married for 2) and last December (very late December) I started to get an urge to explore my crossdressing tendencies. I tried on some of her clothes when she wasn't home once or twice, but always felt odd doing so as I felt... well... creepy, for lack of a better word. It wasn't the idea of wearing women's clothing that I felt weird about, it was the idea of wearing my wife's clothes (apparently I never felt that way about my sister's clothes so maybe it was the whole sibling versus spouse thing, I don't know). So, one day when I was off and she was at work, I went to Wal-Mart and bought a 6-pack of panties. I got home, tried them on and LOVED them. Then, about an hour later, I realized that we lived in a small apartment with no where to really hide them. Thinking about this further, I realized that if I tried to hide them and she found them, it would only be natural and understandable for her to assume they belong to some other woman and that I was cheating. Since this wasn't the case and I didn't want her to think it was, I realized I needed to tell her. It took me a few weeks to work up the nerve, but I eventually told her about my crossdressing tendencies. I let this soak in for a few minutes and after we talked about it for a little bit, I told her that the reason I told her was two fold: Number one, having to repress this aspect of myself all my life I wanted to explore it and wanted her to be a part of it, or at the very least aware of it, and number two was that I had bought some panties. She asked if she could see them, I showed her and the whole then ended with her telling me that it didn't change how she saw me or how she felt. Since then, she has been my biggest supporter and has been very accepting of it, something I know I am very, very lucky about.
As time went on, I started wanting to tell other people and told my wife that there was a very real chance that I would get to the point that simply dressing up wouldn't be enough. Now, I have told nearly all of my friends and a small handful of family members (my sister/brother in-law and two of our cousins) that I am transgender and plan on transitioning and so far have not had any negative reactions, which is another thing I know and understand I am very lucky about.
Growing up, my parent's have always been rather conservative, my mother for religious reasons, my dad for social and political reasons. This, coupled with the area I grew up in, is why it took me 29 years to accept the fact that I was born the wrong gender. I've yet to tell my parents, though, and plan on doing so very, very soon, though I am kind of terrified about it.
Since telling my wife and since I started to explore, accept and ultimately embrace this part of me, I've found myself on this site on more than a few occasions, reading the forums and getting advice on various aspects of the whole processes. For that, I want to take a moment to thank all of you. This site and the people on here have helped me SO much and I've finally made an account on here for a couple of reasons, mainly in hopes of being able to get advice in a more direct way but also in hopes that I am able to help someone else out there who is where I was this time last year.
There is so much more I'd like to say, but I don't want this to get too much longer than it already is, so I will end this post here and thank you all once again for the help you had no idea you were giving me over the last year. I very much look forward to becoming an active part of this community and hope that I can help someone, anyone, out there even a fraction as much as you all have helped me.
Love you all,
Emma
