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Different reasons for transitioning

Started by FireWolf, December 05, 2015, 01:13:40 AM

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FireWolf

So tonight, I was browsing through youtube and seeing how transitioning went for certain people, and I was amazed at the results. But just then something clicked in my mind that I hadn't thought about in a long time. Exactly why I was transitioning. I have my reasons to, but there is one that's starting to confuse me. Is transitioning to become what society thinks of a girl a bad thing? I don't necessarily mean they'll accept me, but being noticed and defined as a female. I mean, normally I just think why can't I be able to wear something like that, or why can't I do this certain thing to help transitioning a little easier, but tonight it was a thought that I kind of can't figure out. Is it a normal thought? Or should I continue to try and stick to the reason that it generally makes me happy to be defined as a girl?
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Ms Grace

I think it's a completely reasonable thought. I'd say more people would be more comfortable just wearing what they wanted if it wasn't for the significant gender policing and social ridicule that usually follows. that's why so many people resort to dressing in private and others will wear the underwear of their identified gender under their assigned gender clothing.
Grace
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Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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FireWolf

I've thought about attempting something like that as well, but with the clothes I normally wear (kind of gender neutral just because they're a little bigger than my actual size and are mostly dark coloured), but I find myself fixing it a lot. As in, picking up my pants or lowering my shirt. These issues make me believe that if I attempted to wear a different underwear, that people would see and I'd be pointed out. I find most of the problems aren't even involving me. They revolve around everyone's opinions and what they might do. I mean, personally, I'll be moving in the summer to a place no one knows me physically (moving in with my boyfriend, who's mentioned my new name and how I am). So at least then I'll be able to try anything without having to worry because I won't know anyone. But the thought still crosses my mind that even though it makes me happy, am I doing it for me or to get away from the problems that I'm faced with outside of being transgendered.
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♥︎ SarahD ♥︎

I don't think it's an inherently bad reason, but there are some things I think you should think about.

Firstly, is this the only reason you're doing it?  It sounds like the answer is "no", but it's worth digging deep to double-check.  I mean, there's nothing wrong being a cis-gendered male who likes wearing female clothing.  There's nothing wrong with being a feminine guy, or something outside of the usual gender binary either.

The worry here is - if you're just doing it to fit in with social norms, then you're just exchanging one mask for another, and if that's the case then you could find yourself just as unhappy on the other side, and at that point you'd more than likely ask yourself "what was the point of going through all that just to end up where I already was?"

Really, the point of transitioning is not for someone born male to become female (or equally from someone born female to become male), but rather it's about becoming your true authentic self.

Your true authentic self may very well be a girly-girl who loves all the stereotypical stuff that society says women are supposed to like, like ponies and the colour pink and frilly skirts.  In that sense no, there's nothing wrong in that at all hun :)  on the other hand, you may be more of a tom-boy - the kind of girl who likes doing some (or even many) things that society says is "guy stuff" like being a car mechanic or a builder, or enjoying watching epic space battles in your favourite sci-fi series, or wearing trousers.  If this is the case, you should not feel obliged to "be girly" just to fit another social stereotype.

I guess what I'm really trying to say here is - no, it's not inherently wrong to fit a stereotype, just make sure that you're making the stereotype fit you, and not the other way around ;) x
*Hugs*
"You never find the path to your true self, but rather - you find your true self along the path"
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Christy76

As the others have said live as you are comfortable. I wish all the clothing stores would stop labeling clothes as either mens or womens. If all the clothes were mixed together in one department it would be interesting to see what people bought. I don't think anyone fits gender stereo types completely, not even cis gender people. I'm a girly girl who also plays games like Fallout and Dishonored. At the end of the day you have to be happy with who you are so look inside yourself and be that person. :)
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FireWolf

Okay, all of it makes sense. I spent some time thinking about it, and I know it's not to become part of what society thinks a girl should be. The whole department store idea is great! It'd make buying clothes just that much easier. I came to the conclusion that even if I want to fit within the categories of what society defines as a girl (being passable), the dysphoria would still eat me alive. I've yet to start any physical changes besides growing my hair, but besides always being jealous of what other girls around me are wearing, (forgive me for staring) but also of how their body is. I wish to present myself in that manner because I know it's the person I am, it's me. Thanks for helping clearing up the confusion :3

Rachel
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BridgetYvonne

I am transitioning because for the last few years (age 18+) my mind has been girl & my body has been guy. I would be w/ a girl & rather than want to have sex w/ her, I would rather talk. We would have sex but while doing it, I would be thinking about how nice her body was. I used to buy girls close 2nd hand, wear them at my apt then after 6 months. give them away, wait a few months then start all over again. After I met Vikki, then the 'feelings' came back & I would then CD in public (twice) then after a few months, I decided to tell her. She was real understanding. She once told me that she 'experimented' w/ a girl in college one weekend. She said that she wasn't sure if she was just curious. Now w/ me going from being her BF to her GF, she has the best of both worlds. I sure am happier as a girl. I may not be PB material but I think I look pretty good. I have sometimes gotten more looks from guys than Vikki has. Whenever this happens, she socks me in the arm.   
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