How hard is it to view another trans that has great sucess in transitioning

[FreyasRedemption]

Successfully transitioned trans people are an inspiration, not something to envy. At least, that is how I view it.

[RachelsMantra]

Nothing makes me hate myself more than seeing a trans woman who is completely unquestionably cisnormative in voice and appearance, having the unchanged voice and cute childish facial features that I've always longed for so much.

Where people comment on her videos and are like "you're TRANS? What?" People who never have to worry about being "passable" or not, never have to question whether people see them as a woman or not, they simply are, and can enjoy their lives body-dysphoria-free.

I'm so sick of having to deal with that particular mental battle, and I'm overwhelmed with jealousy when I see someone who doesn't.

I'm so with you on this post when it comes to voice. When I hear a trans girl with a voice that sounds like a cis girl I get so jealous because I know I will probably never sound like that. I know some trans girls whose voices just never dropped. I tell myself I should aim to sound "husky" but I'm afraid I just sound like a gay man lol.

[Gertrude]

I look at it as an inspiration of what's possible.  I am happy for them too. We're all going through a lot, so why should I participate in begrudgement? (Hat tip to Jenny boylan)


Sent from my iPhone, inspected and certified by the NSA

[BridgetYvonne]

Its funny because as a TG (should be a full girl by Apr '16) I get looks from GGs. They think that I'm a GG. Altho my voice is a bit on the low side. Not a foghorn LOL. Could be higher. As a GM I sounded like a GG.   

[galaxy]

How hard is it to view another trans that has great sucess in transitioning

I think thats my biggest problem of all. For myself i feel unfairness because i was fighten more than the most other girls and had less or no results in summary. Successfull transitioning is driven mostly by random factors, you cant have much influence. Its on your genes.

All in all i really sad about that and i dont want to walk over this planet as longer as nessecary.

[stephaniec]

Galaxy I know you have problems seeing the good stuff. Your face is truly very pretty. I have tons I wish were different , but that's a curse we humans face.

[galaxy]

My face is natural born, no result of any hormones. With short hair i would look like before. (see picture in the thread)

[RobynD]

Although in many ways i have been transitioning a long time, i too kicked it into high gear at a somewhat advanced age (ahem) I marvel at girls that transition early and at teens that figure it out so quick. Had i been a teen now with the info that is available, i am positive i would be there.

I do find myself being envious but much more often i find it inspiring. The feminization i have achieved and will achieve yet is partially, the result of others setting the bar so high.

[stephaniec]

My face is natural born, no result of any hormones. With short hair i would look like before. (see picture in the thread)

I've seen it , I know what your referring to , your natural looks , but there is a big difference do to hormones. My face is quite different , but I have a terrible time seeing it.

[iKate]

Mostly I'm envious of a fresh start without all the social baggage like a marriage and life history. There is also the issue of having transition financed by parents or the Government and even living in a country where being trans is not looked down upon with shame.

I struggled hard to get where I am, and I'm very proud of where I am.

I had to leave my birth country (I didn't do it for transition reasons though) and I am lucky in that this country (USA) fully accepts and accommodates me, at least federally and in the state I live.

But would I have liked to have it easier? In a heartbeat. Who wouldn't?

Would I have liked to have started young like Jazz or the trans kids who are popping out of the woodwork now? Sure, who wouldn't?

But you can't go back and re-do the past, you can just move on.

[iKate]

I'm so with you on this post when it comes to voice. When I hear a trans girl with a voice that sounds like a cis girl I get so jealous because I know I will probably never sound like that. I know some trans girls whose voices just never dropped. I tell myself I should aim to sound "husky" but I'm afraid I just sound like a gay man lol.

Don't beat yourself up over voice. It is one of the easiest things to fix. Even surgery is not that expensive these days and provides good results.

Even without surgery, voice can be trained.

[stephaniec]

I do alright with voice at least as I'm concerned  Its just when I cough or clear my throat or get startled .it's  a little embarrassing .

[Lady_Oracle]

One of the girls I help with voice training was telling me about the different jealousies she's had towards trans and cis women. She said she felt that way about me at one point too and that she felt horrible about it but she later realized the farther she gets with her transition, the less and less she feels that way.

I used to feel this way a lot and never really discussed those feelings openly. It's tough now to try to remember what was going through my head back then. Anyways like my friend, it all just kind of went away gradually after everything finally came together for me transition wise.

[stephaniec]

My transition has gone pretty good, it's just the age thing that is the sticking point now. Yea, hopefully I'll be able to get over it , but its hard. When you hit the upper level of the life span things get more pronounced as far as using the time left in the most quality of ways. Transition for me is the absolute most beneficial way to spend the time left, but it comes with the cost of looking at the past. It's a natural problem I just need to totally enjoy my progress and keep moving. I still need to go out to a boutique of really nice dresses and splurge  on one then go out to my favorite bar and forget the past, It's kind of my next goal.

[Lady_Oracle]

I can't imagine what that's like dealing with the age thing  , HUGS! I see my parents struggling with age stuff right now since they're getting into their later years.

You got this Stephanie! Splurge away!!

[Anna33]

interesting question, Stephanie

For me this has been a long long road of self discovery and introspection. My transition began just not too long ago, but this is just the result of years and years of strengthening my soul and coming to terms with myself.

This means that, while I have always been a woman, I want to be a woman for me, not for people to look at me. I mean, I love to feel pretty and to be complmented: Who doesn't?

But do I suffer when I don't get complmented? No, not really. I am beautiful inside and that's what matters to me. If somebody wants to tell me that I look pretty, it makes me smile genuinely and it truly makes me feel better, but if they don't, it's not the end.

When I see other trans girls who look pretty I think that they are fascinating. I wish that we all make it and we all get to a place where we feel super comfy and happy about ourselves. Makes sense?

It has never been a challenge to me in the first place. I don't expect (nor want) to be miss universe, I truly want that we all make it. Only another trans girl knows the struggle. We've come a long way to be where we are now.

big hugs

- Clara

[Kathleenmarie]

Ok, so, I've been right there with you at one point or another, even now when I look at myself, there are still more things I wish I could change then there are things I don't need to.  One of my dysphoria triggers are thongs, I want to wear them, but I cant, they just don't make thongs that I can fit anything into, another trigger is babies, because I want to carry one inside me more than anything.

The other day I made a topic, (which got locked for some bickering) at some point someone brought up the phrase "passing privilege" this was new to me, but I understood the premise, I am 5,6 and I weigh 135 lbs soaking wet, I don't "pass" I simply look like a girl in every way.  Even when I started i didn't get made much. 

Having said that, it doesn't matter how much you pass or don't for dysphoria, or body dismorphic issues to creep in and ruin your life.  I've had 2 friends kill themselves in the last year, 1 his name was ash, and he was a handsome guy.  He walked infront of oncoming traffic. 

The point is, being jealous of others, wishing you had started sooner...this is all based online what you think society tells you you are supposed to look like.  You no what, even vs models arnt good enough for vs.  They body shop the he'll out of those pics. 

Will you ever stop being jealous of other peoplr? Probably not, but, you can stop comparing yourself to others.  This idea of a sliding scale when it comes to beauty is bull->-bleeped-<- meant to sell you only something that never existed in the first place.  Be you, be your authentic you.  And screw everyone else.  You look fabo girl, now go to shake your ass and walk like you got it.  Cause confidence is sexy as ->-bleeped-<-!

[Oliviah]

I get jealous of pretty trans girls who look, sound, and seem perfect.  I just try to focus on what is positive about me.  It is hard sometimes. 

[Dankster]

I know that feeling. It's not a good feeling. I feel the exact same way whenever I see a younger, attractive, cis-passing trans girl on a trans forum or youtube. It usually ends with me feeling like crap. Lately, I've been turning that pain into anger ,and I use that anger to push myself to be better. I'm going to make my idles my rivals. 

[Zumbagirl]

myself on this planet. It's like 1 step forward then 1 step backward. Do you let other transitions affect you or do you have the ability to ignore and move on.

If you could go back in time before I had ever gone under the knife and undertook a gender transition and told me what my future was I wouldn't believe you. I remember when I was first starting off and I wanted good solid advice on electrolysis. I met this girl who was just shy of getting her srs surgery and I couldn't help but think, holy crap, she's beautiful! I'll never come out as good as that. I wasn't jealous as much as I was impressed out of my mind. She even shared with me a picture of her before her transition and I was like, no way that's you. Eventually after having gone under the knife myself, electrolysis, voice training, etc etc etc I had people said they felt inspired by me, and my thought was "me? what's so inspiring about me?"

Just remember that some day, some one will meet you and be inspired by your life as well and how you turned out. You're journey is still in motion so choose people who inspire you to do better.