How hard is it to view another trans that has great sucess in transitioning

[Laura_7]

One of the life lessons that I have learned is that life is not fair -

I would doubt that... what goes around comes around...

good deeds come back to you its possible it was simply not time yet....
or you got it back in another category...

joy shared imo is one of the things that can easily multiply... so feeling joyful with the results of others comes back to people imo...


*hugs*

[Kathleenmarie]

Pretty trans girls have problems 2, just sayin.

[Serenation]

There will always be someone who is better at something than you are. Someone prettier, someone wealthier. Just have to concentrate on your own strengths and be the best version of yourself you can be. If you have made mistakes or bad choices in the past use that experience to avoid making similar mistakes in the future.

[Anna33]

Anybody; boy, girl, pretty or ugly, who becomes obsessed with looks are putting themselves up for a life of misery.

Looks are subject to decay over time, but if you are beautiful inside, that will last forever. I would rather live this life focusing on becoming beautiful inside and feeling complete than spending a ton of money and time on cosmetic things that will not last and will never fullfill me.

[April_TO]

Anybody; boy, girl, pretty or ugly, who becomes obsessed with looks are putting themselves up for a life of misery.

Looks are subject to decay over time, but if you are beautiful inside, that will last forever. I would rather live this life focusing on becoming beautiful inside and feeling complete than spending a ton of money and time on cosmetic things that will not last and will never fullfill me.

^ This

Although, I can completely relate to the feeling of jealousy when I see gorgeous trans girls with boyfriends or husbands or simply living life to the fullest. It's like a bitter pill that's very hard to swallow sometimes.

However, I always remind myself that I transitioned for me and not for anyone else. I strive to be happy with anything I have and looking at life half full.

xo

[NataliaDoll]

Stephanie I think I know what video you are talking about for me I am 21 and started hormones at 20, I have still had times where I hated myself for not doing it earlier to. But I feel like every transgender person has felt guilt for bad for not doing it earlier no matter how young they have started! Let's keep in mind that passable transgender people like the one in that particular video still have problems being transgender as well. I have a friend who is 18 and starting a transition, I have been helping her starting hormones. I brang her to my endo a few weeks ago and help/guide her with anything else she needs to live normally as the girl she is. One time I kind of felt jealous that she started before me and is getting a head start but at the end of the day I feel like I have to put my regrets to the side because we are all in this together. Yes I would of rather started at 18 but I still feel the need to do what's right and help this girl with her transition because I wish someone did it for me and made me realize what and how to do. Every time I see a beautiful transgender woman it's normal to get jealous but I am more proud than anything because it shows how far we have come as a community knowing that as time goes on we will have all the resources we need to transition.

[Jill F]

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.  Any other reason is OK though.

Seriously, I love a good success story.  Failure stories are cool too.  Also, "trans" is not a noun.

[stephaniec]

yea, I'm starting to think I'm going to try to get to know the youth at the LGBT center

[galaxy]

My main problem is that transition couldnt take the body dysphoria from me. Maybe, ive some little boobs and a noevagina, but a very masculine shape and it dominantes the whole look. My face is the only little feminine thing - but in the second look you will also see the masculine features and wondering about my bad hair. Sure, its my age and i began much, much too late and the other side is my body - the bad hormon balance with its defects.

In my case transition was not there to change my body in the right direction. It was the time where i should learn who to accept my male body. But aceepting means to give a up a dream, not to fight anymore. And thats the war in my head.

[Lady Smith]

Having transitioned at 38 I certainly regret that I didn't do it when I was younger, but then 25 years ago things were enough of a primitive medical wasteland as it was and if I had 'come out' as a younger person I most probably would have got my brains fried with ECT for my trouble.  Overall I have to accept that I did transition at the right time and it's no good getting depressed and upset about it.  The other thing is if I had transitioned earlier my children wouldn't be here and there is no way I wouldn't want them in my life.

Aging certainly is a challenge and that is a transition we all have to make.  Beauty is fleeting.  I've lived long enough in this little rural town to have seen attractive local women in their prime enter middle age and get well and truly mauled by the passing years.  I'm not doing too bad looks wise for my age, but then my great aunt looked like she was only 50 when she was 93 so I should be alright for a while longer.  My health though is where aging is biting me though, so it is for that reason that I want to cheer from the sidelines when a young person makes a good and successful transition and goes on to live a rich and fulfilling life.  Youth and beauty is fleeting so enjoy it, go out and make the best of yourself that you can be.

[TG CLare]

I haven't met that many trans women yet but of the ones I have, each had something that I would liked to have had.

Some were downright beautiful, others a lovely voice, some had better makeup techniques but generally nothing I couldn't hopefully have for myself.

However, all of us had a common quality and that was one of self-acceptance and dignity in who we are. I can't be them and they can't be me but we can be ourselves.

Love,
Clare

[Miyuki]

I would like to think that I have been at least somewhat lucky in my transition. I'm not the most attractive girl in the world, but I pass well enough that I can live me life without feeling like everyone is constantly clocking me. My voice especially is an area where I lucked out, because I know most people who transition after there voice changes have a lot of trouble sounding the way they'd like to. It takes effort for me, but at least I can do it.

But let me tell you, with all the other things I've had to deal with in my life, there are few people who would be better off if they traded places with me. I suffer from constant back pain and muscle spasms from scoliosis, I lost ten years of my life to social anxiety and a rare sleep disorder, I have to constantly watch what I eat to keep my weight down (I was pre-diabetic at the age of 24), I still need tens of thousands of dollars to finish my transition to the point where I would consider it complete, you get the point... And the worst part is knowing that even with all these problems there are people here who have it much worse than I do.

Gender dysphoria has a way of giving you tunnel vision. While you are dealing with it, it often seems like nothing else matters. But it's important not to lose perspective and think about your life's value only in terms of your success in transition. There will always be someone more passable and/or attractive than you, which is just as true for us as it is for cisgendered people. Most of us have a lot of baggage about our appearance due to the impact it's had on our lives and how people have perceived us, but in the end the way you look is just a means to an end. What's important is that you can find a way to be happy with who you are, and that you can live in a place where people accept you and treat you the way you'd want to be treated. Looking a certain way can make that easier, but it's just one piece of the puzzle.

In other words, the grass is always greener, and be happy for what you have, because things could always be worse.

[Elsa Delyth]

In my view it's all about bravery and confidence anyway. Personally, I just find it extremely difficult to find the confidence to try really hard. I am going to therapy now, and trying to get the medical stuff in order, but I've never even attempted to wear girl's cloths, and only tried make-up like twice, with super low quality stuff.

Don't want to put in all of that effort, and fail, as the cliche goes. All of my family knows though, and my Dad is okay with it, when it comes to family acceptance, at least of my parents, I have it better than most, I think, and I'm not even as convincing as most!

I find the confidence, and efforts of everyone here hugely inspiring. I am really socially anxious, and awkward, so that makes it really difficult too, but places like this make me feel normal, and a lot less shame.

I don't take jealousy as a negative thing, unless it makes you a self or other hater, but can be motivating. It's better though, and good to feel solidarity with some really amazing, and beautiful people with regards to a deep personal struggle, to which we all relate. What matters is being happy, and true to yourself. Everyone that does that inspires me, and I think inspires everyone. Heroes of authenticity!

[Kylo]

I think whether we're cis or trans, there's always going to be somebody who we look at and who makes us feel like a lowly ant by way of their ridiculous levels of beauty or luck. I just remind myself such people are kind of rare anomalies compared to most people who are just trying to get through life... and even for them life is probably plagued with problems of a different kind. I know lots of people who covet the lifestyles of rich or famous people, but then when you hear many of these rich and famous people turned out to have miserable depressed lives, or were addicts, or beaten or abused, suicidal, etc. you realize perfection does not exist. Happiness is something everybody is trying to find no matter how successful at something they seem to be.

[Galyo]

I can get pretty jealous towards good looking transgirls as well. But me and my boyfriend always reason this with the fact that you should be happy with being who you are as an individual. Rest assured that very few people reach the status of photo model, trans or not.

[Roni]

I too know of which video you are talking about. I love both youtubers.

I'm a bit confused as all who have said on this thread that they are jealous of cis normative trans women, look cis themselves, pass with flying colors, and some are even people I drew inspiration from for my own transition when I was all new to this a year and a half ago.

I think we all have to remember that we are our own worst critics. Cliche saying but it's true. We will always compare ourselves to others. I am like some in this thread who have said that seeing a successfully transitioned trans girl gives me nothing but inspiration.

[Roni]

In my view it's all about bravery and confidence anyway. Personally, I just find it extremely difficult to find the confidence to try really hard. I am going to therapy now, and trying to get the medical stuff in order, but I've never even attempted to wear girl's cloths, and only tried make-up like twice, with super low quality stuff.

Don't want to put in all of that effort, and fail, as the cliche goes. All of my family knows though, and my Dad is okay with it, when it comes to family acceptance, at least of my parents, I have it better than most, I think, and I'm not even as convincing as most!

I find the confidence, and efforts of everyone here hugely inspiring. I am really socially anxious, and awkward, so that makes it really difficult too, but places like this make me feel normal, and a lot less shame.

I don't take jealousy as a negative thing, unless it makes you a self or other hater, but can be motivating. It's better though, and good to feel solidarity with some really amazing, and beautiful people with regards to a deep personal struggle, to which we all relate. What matters is being happy, and true to yourself. Everyone that does that inspires me, and I think inspires everyone. Heroes of authenticity!

If only there were a 'like' button on this forum..

Edit: Duh, like button under our forum avatars.

[Splendid]

I would say I have had great success transitioning, so this may affect my feelings, but I just feel happiness for them, and warmth in my soul.

[Shanade]

I think everyone has great success in transitioning, it's just not necessarily the kind of success they are looking for...

As a tall naturally muscular guy, I learned that nothing is impossible. Doesn't matter what you used to look like. Anything can be changed. Be it through hard work or surgery (which is still hard work in some ways). For that reason, seeing naturally more feminine/successful trans never bothered me as I will get there in time. Furthermore some were inspirational and gave me the energy to start and that's priceless (even if none were as muscular as I am [except Janae Marie Kroc])

[RachelsMantra]

I feel torn about whether I am "allowed" to feel dysphoria and jealousy towards other trans girls. I've been told that I am one of the "prettiest" girls in my support group and this makes me feel good but then I go on the internet and see a prettier trans girl or hear their voices I get insanely jealous and feel like crap. So on the one hand I feel like I am just whining relative to my support group but then I compare myself to trans girls on the internet and I feel much different.