Finding the right time to come out

[AnamethatstartswithE]

So I'm an American expat living in europe, and I'm spending the holidays with my parents. I had originally thought about telling my parents when I was there. I'm very close with both my mother and father and I really don't want to lose the good relationship I have with them. I've discussed this with my therapist and I was thinking that it might not be a good idea to do this around the holidays. But now I'm wondering if I'll be able to last. I worry that I won't be able to keep it in, and I'll just blurt it out. It almost feels like part of me is threatening the other part "either plan to come out or I'll do it for you."

Has anyone else encountered this? Are there any thoughts on coming out now vs. waiting?

I'm thinking that I'll try hormones out when I get back to the US in the spring, I want to let them have time to digest this before I do anything, but it seems like I can always come up with a reason not to. On the other hand Christmas has always been THE holiday in my family and I don't want to ruin it. Any thoughts?

[sara.lynn]

Hi.

I feel the same way. I've been going back and forth but finally decided to wait.   I weighed the consequences,  if things don't work out,  the holiday will forever be remembered negatively.

Ultimately is up to you,  and I won't pretend how hard it is to keep quiet after you've made the decision to come out.  I found keeping a journal very helpful in keeping my anxiety down.

Best of luck
-Sara

[Tommi]

Personally speaking, I have found the desire to share with everyone has grown as I am accepting myself more, and I guess I want that elsewhere, even though I've not yet begun any transition.  I haven't even seen a therapist yet, but I figure I will before I begin sharing with everyone.

I also would NOT drop the bombshell at Christmastime, as emotions tend to be heightened around this season.  You know your family though, but for me, I'd want to do it any other time than the holidays.  In my case I wouldn't want negative reactions to overshadow the holidays.  I'd rather deal with that any other time of the year.

[abd789]

Watching this thread for advice myself, I was thinking of using christmas as a time to come out to the family

thing is we only see each on holidays or a few summer parties, I cant wait till summer

[archlord]

Honestly there is no good Time . We usually see family on special occasion like xmas , birthday etc.. But rarely just for seeing them . So at any occasion you would have to kind of .. Not ruining but changlng original plans . After I came out to parents it became easier for me . I would advice to not Tell everyone at the same Time . Talk about it with very close family member who you can trust then ask those persons for how you should handle the comming out . I havent told my full family , they will learn as same time friends will when I Will update my Facebook on jan 1st

[abd789]

Honestly there is no good Time . We usually see family on special occasion like xmas , birthday etc.. But rarely just for seeing them . So at any occasion you would have to kind of .. Not ruining but changlng original plans . After I came out to parents it became easier for me . I would advice to not Tell everyone at the same Time . Talk about it with very close family member who you can trust then ask those persons for how you should handle the comming out . I havent told my full family , they will learn as same time friends will when I Will update my Facebook on jan 1st

I admire your strength, a few of us here are in about the same place and I love that you are setting goals. Thats one thing Im unable to do...I just keep waiting until everything is perfect, yet I am a perfectionist... you see where Im going?

[Cheska]

I hate to sound selfish but...you've got to choose the right time for you not everybody else and if that's over the holidays, so be it. Over the course of 10+ years I had been on the verge of coming out multiple times but I never did because each time I wanted to, the situations that other people were in kept me from doing so and if I was waiting for the perfect scenario, I still wouldn't be out now.