What mistakes did you make along the way?

[maybe_amanda]

If you had the chance to do it all over again what would you do different?

And by "all" I mean life or your transition( or lack of), or anything else you'd like to comment on.

[Kate]

If you had the chance to do it all over again what would you do different?

Regarding transitioning, I would have trusted in the goodness of people, rather than fearing the worst from them.

~Kate~

[shanetastic]

If you had the chance to do it all over again what would you do different?

Regarding transitioning, I would have trusted in the goodness of people, rather than fearing the worst from them.

~Kate~

Really?  I'm stuck in the mindset of everyone in my little redneck conservative is evil and are hateful people. 

[shanetastic]

Shane, but this may be very possibly TRUE! Kate never claimed her experience was universal . . .

Hehe I know I was just blabbering on for my opinion.  I forgot the word "town" in there too, haha great!  

[tinkerbell]

I waited until I was 21 to transition.  I wasted a lot of years of my life in the gay community and on pain killers prior to coming out as TS.  I wish I had told my parents sooner.  I always knew about my TS'im but I was just afraid my folks wouldn't support me.  I was wrong because they did (and do) since the very beginning.

tink

[Yvonne]

I didn't.  My doctors & my parents did when they assigned me as boy because it was the "right" thing to do.  I presume my mistake was to keep quiet when they gave me my first shot of testosterone.

[Terra]

I wouldn't have gotten scared and clammed up after talking to my parents when I was 12. Maybe I would have been more interested in my life and had done much better in school and my social life. Then again, if wishes were fishes. Personally, all things considered, I think i'm doing quite well with my life, and i'm not sure i'd be willing to risk another big 'what if' to lose all my friends and the life lessons i've gotten along the way.

Besides, who would want to do laser treatments again? Ouch!

[BCL]

Not transitioning 20 or 30 years sooner than what I did

[Wing Walker]

Once I decided to move on my transition, I did nothing regrettable.

I was no expert on hairstyling and makeup when I first started going out, showing my true gender, after work and on weekends.  I hid nothing and I went wherever I pleased.  Of course I avoided places where trouble might be a given, like some bars and roadhouses.

I began transition at age 50.  I wish that I had begun earlier but I doubt that it would have gone as well in 1970.  Who knew anything about Gender Identity Dysphoria?  How many surgeons were there?  Would the cops and medical services pay no mind to me when I needed help because I was wearing a wig and per-op?  I really wonder about that.

Now that I look back on it, my life in both genders in the same lifetime is a gift that arrived exactly on-time for me to use it and live it to its max.

Thanks for asking.

Wing Walker

[LostInTime]

I have made mis-steps and often they took me somewhere new or to someone new. Why would I give up the education and the friendships?

[Berliegh]

What mistakes did you make along the way?
If you had the chance to do it all over again what would you do different?

I would never have attended a U.K NHS gender clinic....it cost me 7 years of my life...

I now realise I didn't need to go there, and since leaving things have improved and are moving at a much faster pace..

[shanetastic]

I'm not very far along this process, but I'm still making mistakes as I go on.  Right now, the mistakes I made (past) was that I should have come out sooner to my parents.  They love me totally unconditionally no matter what and have always, I just feared myself more than anything probably.

My current problem is I am not open and outgoing enough and need to try harder to just speak my mind.  That's a mistake that caused me to postpone transition a while back, and I've been fighting with this issue ever since.  My therapist gets dissapointed from time to time because I don't always speak my mind.  The same goes for my parents, I don't normally let them into my life too much.  Those are my current problems I'm battling and trying to fight with.

[debisl]

I have made more than I am willing to admit to.

I wish in this world today so that no young children have to go through what I went through. That when a child is about to be born and the parents go through the child birthing classes they were instructed for signs to recognize for GID. I did the very best I could do by myself. Most times it was not the right choice. Sometimes I got it right and those were the happy times.

When depression started to sink in I would make a decission to do something about it. Sometimes it made my situation worse and sometimes it helped. I always trugged forward, mistakes and all. Most times when I moved forward the mistakes I made came along too. Sooner or later you have to make a decission. Mine was finaly to talk to someone that was use to dealing with GID people. A good therapist can help you understand the people around you and why their actions toward you are what they are. I thought I was an outcast and a taboo part of society, and that God would not love me for my self. How wrong I was. I know now that God loves us all for what we are no mater what. If there are still people out there that wish I was not on their planet shame on them.

Getting back to the subject at hand. Mistakes are good sometimes. Hopefuly you won't make the same one twice. Now the biggest mistake I made was to experiment with harmones without professional supervision. If there is one mistake I could convince anyone here not to make is that one. In this day and time go see a therapist as soon as you think something might be wrong concerning GID.

I wish the Army slogan was around when I started to transition "Be All You Can Be"

We all make mistakes, and hopefuly some of ours will help some of our friends here not make the same ones along their journey to womanhood or manhood.

Deb

[tinkerbell]

I know now that God loves us all for what we are no mater what.

Deb

  Sometimes like today, for instance, I need to hear something like this (regardless of what I believe).  Thanks for saying this...

tink

[elena]

Debisl-

that is a very moving post and I take much strength from it.  I think the thing that has held me back the most has been my want to make others happy.  Whether it was my parents, boss, or whatever, I barely took the time to focus in on this feeling that always pulled me in.  I can remember picking flowers while the other boys in gym class played baseball, I can remember wanting to be pretty while the other boys played in the mud and dirt.  I have finally accepted that I need to move ahead, and I realize that my mistake was not moving ahead sooner.  The longer we wait, the heavier the consequences usually are. . .

[debisl]

Elena this is true! The longer a person waits the more time you have to complicate things up. There are times when feelings have been surpressed inside for such a long time you tend to put them in a part of your brain you don't use too often. All of a sudden like a ton of bricks you are faced with your desires that you have hidden away. It is not a pretty sight when this happens. Most are not prepared for what lies ahead.

Once you have decided along with a professionals opinion to go forward you must never look back. You can trip if you do.All of us stumble. With the help of a friend we can pick ourselves up and move along the road to our ultimate goals.

Deb

[gothique11]

I've probably made mistakes along the way, but those mistakes also make me who I am (for better or worse).