My history professor made a pass at me.

[Annaiyah]

I did just post this on Yahoo! Answers but 1) I had to shorten it for that site and 2) I would like answers and suggestions from other members of the trans community.

I'm taking a history course at my local community college. The teacher there, pretty much since the class started in early September... I would notice the way he would look at me and wink at me and things like that. I'm gonna be brutally honest here - I did kind of like it but that kind of faded away once I noticed that I'm the only female in that class that he would do this to.

But fast forward to the issue at hand that brings me here asking y'all for advice:

I had to miss Friday at that class because I had to attend a funeral so that Monday I asked the teacher if I could see him at a certain point in time to catch me up on whatever I missed. When I went up to him to ask for this, he's like "Hey sweetie, what's up?" like I'm his girlfriend or something. He said to come back at 4 something that afternoon. I didn't think much of it only because I just assumed he was teaching another class.

So I go back to the classroom. The door is locked and it's just the professor in there. I knocked and he let me in. Red flag number 2! I felt kind of nervous about this especially after he shut the door after me and I was too afraid to ask what was up with the locked door.

So as he's telling me what they did when I wasn't there he asks me about having a boyfriend. I kind of looked at him with a nervous look on my face and I said no. He then went on saying about how he found it hard to believe that didn't have no boyfriend and how any guy would be lucky to have a dark chocolate skin young lady like me and things of that nature.

After he tells me this I just froze I was in a state of shock and it felt like time just stopped because it took me a second to process what exactly the hell was going on and then the next words out of my mouth were "excuse me?" For a second I thought he was calling me a racial slur because I'm black and he's white but also at the same time I think he's trying to come on to me or whatever.

Then he also goes on about how he wants to spend some personal time with me and he then he started putting his hand on my knee and started touching my legs. I pulled back and told him up front that I was transgender. He said he didn't mind and that it as OK because my beauty can make guys overlook me being a transgender woman. Then he started again to touch my legs and put his hand up my skirt.

I was having no more of that. I I grab my things and I flew the hell out of there. Thank god the door was unlocked from the inside because I hate to imagine what he would have done to me if I couldn't get out and I was trapped in that room with him.

I'm in my 20s and this teacher is no younger than his mid 40 and I'm also confident enough to bet money he's married. He even mentioned in a previous class he has two kids. Not that that matters but still. I know you guys are going to tell me I need to tell the administration what's going on, but I'm kind of afraid to do that because I'm worried about him coming after me or trying to do something to me. But I did tell my genetic female friend about this. Unfortunately she's not in school this semester but she assured me that she has my back.

Speaking of the semester, the other reason I'm not too confident about reporting what he did to me because the semester's almost over I have a B average in that class I don't want all my work to go to waste because that creep wanted to make unwanted sexual advances at me! Like seriously he makes my skin craw!

I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to write a novel about it but I wanted to detail everything that's going on here and unlike on Yahoo Answers I have more freeway leeway on this forum to detail everything.

But the only reasons I do have to tell somebody it's because I don't want him doing this to  other girls and I don't want too much time to pass before acting about it because then the longer I wait to report this creep the less they can do about it. I just don't wanna have to end up taking this course all over again because of him.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

[stephaniec]

Simple solution, dean of students

[Dena]

I have several idea and all of them are very bad.
1. This professor should be reported but it will be your word against his and he may say you were trying to get a better grade by offering your body.

2. He may come at you again holding your grade as ransom.

3. He may say you are lying and nothing happened.

4. The school may already be aware of this and is shielding him from exposure.

The safest option for you would be to never be alone with him again. You should document this as best you can and date it should you find that he retaliates against you. If there is somebody you really trust on the school staff you might bring it up with them. You may also want to use this post as documentation should a problem occurs.

The professor knows he is in a position of power and there are strict rules against this type of thing but it's your word against his. By the way, if you ever have to be alone with him again, put your phone in voice record mode.

[Annaiyah]

Dena,

Mind you, I did think about using this thread as evidence. And I wish I did say something and then warn that he might hold my grade hostage.

I intentionally went to class late today and I was one of the first people out the door. I didn't want to give him any indication that I was still bothered by what he did.

Also I am a female. Okay, I'm a transgender girl. A black trans girl at that but I think if I play my cards just right I could be able to use it to my advantage because when it comes to cases like this, authority figures are always likely to take what the female said more credible that what the male is saying, especially when the female is the victim. I'm just unsure as to how to go about this but I gotta do something because this is inappropriate.

EDIT:
Let what I'm going through and what I experienced be a message to all the other trans girls out there we gotta be careful when it comes to men coming on to us and catcalling us and stuff like that. We may like the attention or may not but this is probably what leads to all the trans murders

[Dena]

I respect your morals and the truth is I would feel pretty much like you do but there is an element of danger that this can backfire against you. I have seen to many of these thing in the newspaper not to be aware this this is far to common. Your first step would be to discover if your school has a sexual reporting system in place. It might be on the website or in the school catalog/rules. If not, you need to go the the highest level school official you can to report this. I wish you good luck.

[Jill F]

...put your phone in voice record mode.

Pretty much this. 

[Blush]

I'll be the devil's advocate in this thread - just as he described you as chocolate a black person might call me vanilla. It's playing on race, but it's not racist. No one should feel they need to hide anything, but even in that situation why announce your trans? I don't see the value in it. Comparing being advanced upon (either appropriately or inappropriately) to trans folk being murdered specifically because of their transition is apples to oranges.

It'd probably be wise to mention it to the dean's office and switch to a different class with a different professor for the sake of your grades as well as sanity.

[Annaiyah]

I am sure he probably didn't mean it in a racist way. It's just that the way he was making his advance on me kind of caught me off guard. I kind of should've expected something like this because he's been leering and ogling at me all semester. I just wasn't sure if he would be that evasive and thought he would be more ethical than to risk his job making a pass at a student.

As he was touching me I really didn't know how to react and really couldn't think think straight. I was a little scared but managed to remain composed because I know overreacting is never in the victim's best interest.

As he was touching me I got really scared and nervous because I didn't know just how far he was going to take this. My primary thought was "get out of this alive."

Worst case scenario: he is touching me and somehow finds out that I am transgender, which would anger him to the point where he hurts me really bad, rapes me, or worse yet kill me. So me telling him was kind of a warning in the way of: "You do know the female student who you, the TEACHER, are INAPPROPRIATELY TOUCHING is transgender, right?"

Lastly, I did say in the OP that I didn't want to quit the class because it's almost over anyway and it's far too late to switch to a new class. As far as reporting him goes, I did file a written compliant against this professor, outlining what he did to me. A female security guard did talk to me one on one to discuss this and she assured me that they will take care of this situation and that was that.

For all I know they could've did nothing at all which us highly likely because after all I have no physical evidence that he touched me, just me saying that he did. Plus, this creep is still looking at me in a sexual way and it's starting to make me feel sick to my stomach.