Where do I start?

[Melrakki]

Every time I think about transitioning or trying to pass, I get overwhelmed. I don't know where to start. [emoji21]

Pros (as I see them)
-I'm tall. About 6 ft tall.
- I am built broadly. My bra's band size is 44. Not a small person by any stretch.

Cons
- My bust. I'm a 44 DDD/F. Big breasts. Can't do a thing with them.

Neutrals
-My face. I've already had people look me in the face and think I'm a guy, even while wearing mostly female clothes.

But... Yeah. I have no idea where to start on this journey. I feel like I'm metaphorically standing at the gate wondering if I should start with the left foot or the right.

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[FTMDiaries]

Hi, and welcome!

If you need to start, just start. And the best place to start is to find your way to a gender therapist of some sort, so that you can work out how you feel about your gender & what you want to do about it. How you find a gender therapist depends on where you are geographically (there are people here from every continent except Antarctica).

I'm 1.58 metres tall (or 5ft2 in old money); I had DDs before top surgery; I had what my mother unkindly referred to as 'childbearing hips'. I have also borne 3 children.

But so what? None of that actually matters. What is important is how I perceive myself, and what I need to do to feel comfortable. For me, that meant transitioning to male in every aspect of my life, including taking testosterone and having top surgery - and I'm having bottom surgery next year. But every journey is different, so it's important that you work with a gender therapist to figure out what you need to do.

[jlaframboise]

I had trouble starting. 5 months later and I'm on testosterone, and my mom calls me her son. As the above, just start! You're going to find a binder that fits, there's a lot of resources for bigger chested guys. Find a gender therapist online and figure out your insurance situation first. You're going to do great.

[WorkingOnThomas]

i was in a G cup. Binders work, even for big guys.

Thomas

[Melrakki]

i was in a G cup. Binders work, even for big guys.

Thomas

If it's not rude to ask, where did you find yours?

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[WorkingOnThomas]

I got mine through a binder donation program based in the UK. I simply didn't (and don't) have the funds to purchase one, so I looked through what was available via their catalogue and got extremely lucky.

Mind you, I do have to wear layers. In just a t-shirt, it is clear that I'm carrying a lot of excess fat or whatever around my chest, but in a button down the stiffness and non clinginess of the fabric smooths things out. Top that with a vest, pullover or blazer (or combination of two of those) and I'm good to go. T-shirts and hoodies/sweaters, however, don't seem to give the same effect. So I tend to dress somewhat formally.

Thomas

[Melrakki]

I've had some success with layering, but where I live that can really only be done in the winter. (I live in the southern United States.)

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[WorkingOnThomas]

Yeah, I used to live in Mississippi, and even before I came out, I did my best to hide my chest. So I suffered all year round in numerous sports bras, baggy flannel shirts, and hoodies.

[Melrakki]

Funny, I live in Mississippi now. On the gulf coast. >.>

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[WorkingOnThomas]

Opposite end of the state for me. Just offa 72, in the middle of absolute nowhere.

[FTMax]

Start with whatever you feel comfortable with. You'll know when you're ready to move on to the next step. Most people start with binding, hair cuts, male clothes, and maybe a packer as they start to come out and socially transition. Have you talked to anyone in your life about this yet? Have you figured out what your goals are as far as transitioning? You don't have to have all the answers now, and it may well change as you start transitioning, but I think it's good to have a general idea before you start moving forward so that you can focus your attention on getting where you want to go.

Binding and layers will help. I found that putting on the binder and then a tanktop over it and tucking both in enabled me to smooth out most of the weird lines (push chest up and out towards your armpit region) before topping it with another t-shirt. I'm in VA and the weather is stupid, but I was generally fine in the summer, if not a little sweatier than usual.