Why Do We Want to Transition?

[Nancy]

Why do we want to transition?

A theory I have is that after we meet our bodily needs, everything we do is related to our desire to feel love. Thus, to answer my question, I tried to imagine myself in a world where I was the only human. In this situation I don't think I would have a concept of what it means to appear my gender, as there would be no one to contrast myself against. Thus, transitioning would not have any meaning to me.

Using this thought experiment and my theory, the answer to my question seems to be we want to transition in order express how our inner self contrasts with other individuals' inner selves, so that we can we loved for who we are. I've expressed this conclusion to one other transgender individual, and it resonated, but maybe I'm entirely off, so I would love to hear how you would answer this question.

There's actually a huge amount of philosophical and sociological theory and research out there that talks more or less about this exact thing. From my own research into genocide and hate crime for instance I've delved into the general consensus in that field about the functioning of group mentality in humans or any social creature - the desire to fit into a group can be found as the source of really all our behaviours. I suspect that is where your own intuitions were leading you in what you describe.

It's difficult to tell if you're separating the desire to transition from the acceptance of your identity. For me, the desire to transition was I suppose to eliminate not only the distance I felt from my own body - the inability to recognise that person in the mirror, the constant feeling of estrangement from myself, feeling that I live in an alien body - but also to eliminate the distance from other people - it was not until after transitioning that I was able to have normal interactions with people, prevented previously partly due to my own anxieties and partly due to the disconnection between their perception of who I am and my perception of who I am. So you could say that transitioning for me was to get rid of feeling alienated. That's kind of what you were saying, I think, but I'm not sure I quite understood your analogy.

[LordKAT]

It isn't that I want to, but that it is an aching need.  I wish to stay sane and live out of my shell. I finally actually want to live. That means a lot, I think.

[Asche]

I'm transitioning because I'm sick of living as a man.*  I've only lived that way for so long because I was convinced that my only alternative was to not live at all, and while I've seriously considered that alternative from time to time, so far I haven't taken it.

The idea of living as a woman seems attractive, too, though of course I don't really know what it will be like.  (I've heard of a whole bunch of disadvantages that come with being a woman, too.)  But I don't know that it would be enough if I were actually satisfied living as a man.

I could continue living as a man, I suppose.  I would be just existing, though.  When I tried the "starter drugs" -- skirts -- life started going from black-and-white to color.  And each step I've taken on this "road to perdition" it's gotten better.  I'm starting to look forward to things.  Having started HRT 1.5 months ago, I'm now impatiently waiting for my face to look more feminine and for the "boob fairy" to come.  Next comes full-time, and, and.  There's actually a reason, beyond mere duty, for me to stay alive.

ETA:

* -- there are days when I actively hate having to be a man, and am positively jealous of the women I see.  It feels like some kind of purgatory.

[Skylar1992]

Because I am a girl, and want the physical to match that 

[Missy D]

Or to put it really simply 

Transition for a transsexual is a life sentence

Non-transition for a transsexual is a death sentence!!

I've tried both ways and I'm still alive 

Missy xx

[autumn08]

There's actually a huge amount of philosophical and sociological theory and research out there that talks more or less about this exact thing. From my own research into genocide and hate crime for instance I've delved into the general consensus in that field about the functioning of group mentality in humans or any social creature - the desire to fit into a group can be found as the source of really all our behaviours. I suspect that is where your own intuitions were leading you in what you describe.

It's difficult to tell if you're separating the desire to transition from the acceptance of your identity. For me, the desire to transition was I suppose to eliminate not only the distance I felt from my own body - the inability to recognise that person in the mirror, the constant feeling of estrangement from myself, feeling that I live in an alien body - but also to eliminate the distance from other people - it was not until after transitioning that I was able to have normal interactions with people, prevented previously partly due to my own anxieties and partly due to the disconnection between their perception of who I am and my perception of who I am. So you could say that transitioning for me was to get rid of feeling alienated. That's kind of what you were saying, I think, but I'm not sure I quite understood your analogy.

Thank you for responding!

I think you understand what I was trying to convey quite well. In response to, "It's difficult to tell if you're separating the desire to transition from the acceptance of your identity," my theory doesn't separate the desire to transition, from the acceptance of our identity, but postulates that the desire to transition, is contingent on our social identity.

[autumn08]

Thank you everyone for responding! 

[Nancy]

Well hrm, then the question is what isn't contingent on our social identity? 

[autumn08]

Well hrm, then the question is what isn't contingent on our social identity? 

To answer that, I think we first need to answer, "why do we reward ourselves with pleasure from some social actions?" I think based upon our innate self, and our perceived potential, we try to be the individual whose ratio of positive versus negative actions is most likely to survive in others. Therefore, we receive pleasure from actions directed towards our purpose.

To answer your question, what is not contingent upon our social identity, is everything not contingent on our purpose. You may be right though; everything an individual born in society does, may at least be indirectly aimed towards our purpose. As I said in a prior reply, I may be incorrect in separating corporeal needs, from social needs.