Help? 16. wanting to transition to a male

[PrinceRyan]

I don't really know how to go about this, My name is Rayne I actually JUST stumbled across this website looking for more information. I'm 16 years old. Junior in high school. Female, but I like to be addressed as a Male so to say. I'm just not comfortable with my gender. AT ALL. Of course I get asked a lot of uncomfortable questions and talked about ever day but, Frankly I don't care. To keep it short I love females and I want to be a boy. I want to feel like one. I want to be one. I've tried over and over again to put this thought in the back of my head and just play happy, but the truth is I'm not and haven't been for a while.. and to add to that money has always been an issue with my family, Having to go without a lot of things and sometimes even food or the stress of moving because we can't afford A house no more. I know transitioning is money consuming, which is another thing that's been preventing me, Also I stay in Alabama. I don't mean to come across selfish.. I just want to be happy and comfortable. Tired of the sleepless nights, Dwelling thoughts, Anger, Frustration, Hatred of myself because I can't find the love within my own skin. I've been feeling this way for a while now and I couldn't understand why just until last year, And when I brought it to my mothers attention, She didn't really say much besides the money issue and that she wishes for me to wait a little bit. So I just stopped venturing into the idea of it, the idea of truly being happy.. But I just really can't push back my desire, my yearn for happiness no longer. I'd really appreciate it if anybody could talk to me, give me information as in to how to even go about this, and the process.. I just need some guidance/help from people who truly UNDERSTAND me or where I'm coming from. It's really appreciated

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Many FTMs pass as a young male by binding their breast, short hair, male clothing and male speech patterns. This can provide them some relief from their discomfort until they are able to obtain T and top surgery. Bottom surgery isn't great and there are a number of options the guys can talk to you about. As money is tight, you may need to stay with the inexpensive approach and prepare yourself for a life where you can earn the money you need or have insurance coverage to pay for the expensive part of the treatment.

Some schools have access to therapist that could help you and there are therapist who work on a sliding scale so you only pay what you can afford. If possible, blockers would help control your feelings but they can be expensive so even if you find the therapist, you might not be able to afford the blockers.

Something you need to understand is sexual preference and gender identity are two different things. The fact you are attracted to girls doesn't make you transgender. The fact that you want to be a boy means you are transgender.

The guys spend much of there time in the FTM section and you are free to discuss things with them there. I can also move this thread to that area for you. In any case, feel free to ask me question by posting to this thread and I will reply as soon as I can.


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[PrinceRyan]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Many FTMs pass as a young male by binding their breast, short hair, male clothing and male speech patterns. This can provide them some relief from their discomfort until they are able to obtain T and top surgery. Bottom surgery isn't great and there are a number of options the guys can talk to you about. As money is tight, you may need to stay with the inexpensive approach and prepare yourself for a life where you can earn the money you need or have insurance coverage to pay for the expensive part of the treatment.

Some schools have access to therapist that could help you and there are therapist who work on a sliding scale so you only pay what you can afford. If possible, blockers would help control your feelings but they can be expensive so even if you find the therapist, you might not be able to afford the blockers.

Something you need to understand is sexual preference and gender identity are two different things. The fact you are attracted to girls doesn't make you transgender. The fact that you want to be a boy means you are transgender.

The guys spend much of there time in the FTM section and you are free to discuss things with them there. I can also move this thread to that area for you. In any case, feel free to ask me question by posting to this thread and I will reply as soon as I can.


We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Everything you said just describes me. I bind my chest, I have short hair, Have male speech patterns, and dress like one. There isn't a day I don't get mistaken as a male. I also understand the difference between the two, I should've picked my words differently as to what I said. I appreciate your response. Thank you

[FTMax]

Hi there,

As Dena said, most of the guys on the forum spend most of our time on the FTM specific board. There are a lot of great threads there (and elsewhere on the Transitioning board) that should give you some good reading material. We also have a youth board that could help you see how to go about getting the ball rolling as a minor.

One of the things I did early on in my transition was write out a letter to my parents about how I was feeling and what I wanted to do. I didn't end up giving it to them, but it really helped me organize my thoughts and gave focus to my transition. Think about how you're feeling, how long you've felt that way, what the options are to correct those feelings, and which options you're most interested in pursuing. If you plan to share the letter with your parents, include what you want from them (emotional support, acceptance, insurance coverage, money, etc.).

As a minor you're somewhat limited in what you can do to start your transition. Social transition is free - getting your friends and family to use a male name and pronouns. Wearing male clothes, getting a male haircut, binding, packing, etc. all cost a little bit of money but go a long way in helping you pass as male and feel more comfortable. The next step would be for you to start speaking with a therapist. Your school may have a counselor that could help or refer you to someone. There are also some inexpensive online options that you could consider ($45/session). You would likely need a referral from a therapist to start blockers or testosterone. Top and bottom surgery could also be options for later down the road, when you have insurance or money to pay for them.

[PrinceRyan]

Hi there,

As Dena said, most of the guys on the forum spend most of our time on the FTM specific board. There are a lot of great threads there (and elsewhere on the Transitioning board) that should give you some good reading material. We also have a youth board that could help you see how to go about getting the ball rolling as a minor.

One of the things I did early on in my transition was write out a letter to my parents about how I was feeling and what I wanted to do. I didn't end up giving it to them, but it really helped me organize my thoughts and gave focus to my transition. Think about how you're feeling, how long you've felt that way, what the options are to correct those feelings, and which options you're most interested in pursuing. If you plan to share the letter with your parents, include what you want from them (emotional support, acceptance, insurance coverage, money, etc.).

As a minor you're somewhat limited in what you can do to start your transition. Social transition is free - getting your friends and family to use a male name and pronouns. Wearing male clothes, getting a male haircut, binding, packing, etc. all cost a little bit of money but go a long way in helping you pass as male and feel more comfortable. The next step would be for you to start speaking with a therapist. Your school may have a counselor that could help or refer you to someone. There are also some inexpensive online options that you could consider ($45/session). You would likely need a referral from a therapist to start blockers or testosterone. Top and bottom surgery could also be options for later down the road, when you have insurance or money to pay for them.

Thank you, I've done/do everything as to making myself as comfortable in the position I am now. I've also told my family how I feel. I guess the next step is counseling and I will no doubt look into that as soon as I can. Thank you very much for writing.

[Laura_7]

Hello and welcome 

here are some resources that might help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

You might ask at plannedparenthood or a lgbt center near you.
They have phone and email.

It is possible there are programs for people woth low income, like counseling and even hormones, or all on a sliding scale.
You might ask there.


hugs