Future business partners

[Becca]

The company I work for is going down the pan, half the people are looking to leave etc etc. Anyway for the past year I have been harassed by a member of the "senior management" and the company refuses to do anything about it, in spite of telling them its illegal and so on.  I need to leave this company anyway, it is bad for my health... I think they will end up firing me anyway.

Anyway, I have three girls who work in my team who are now also now having problems with this same manager and have made a formal complaint and involved the union.

One evening we started talking about setting up a company, and the four of us working together.  This has progressed further to the point we have a kindof plan and I have a potential investor to start it..all very positive in an environment where it is impossible for us to work.

Now my question, when do I tell these three my full story? For certain they know some of it anyway, I don't wear any "men's" clothes and have actively participated in discussions about makeup and so on with them...there was no negative reaction from them.

I was very close to just telling them this week, but stopped short because I don't want to ruin the opportunity.

[FTMax]

Hi Becca,

I'd try to be as honest as possible with future business partners about matters that may impact the business. If you think being trans will impact your work at all in any way, I would let them know. I'd also be open to a discussion about how you would remedy any issues or what roles you may be more comfortable taking.

As an example, last year around September my boss decided that we needed to have someone running the day to day operations of the business. I was put forward as the best candidate. I had not yet come out to him, and I was worried that my transition may cause us to lose clients if people were uncomfortable, especially since this new role was very client facing. I came out to him about a month later, and told him my concerns. His feeling was that if we lost clients because I transitioned, that ultimately we were ahead because they wouldn't be people he wanted to work  Case closed.

I'd approach it from the standpoint that the opportunity is solid. I haven't read any of your posts so I don't know your background or how far into your transition you are. If you aren't out at all, I'd come out and voice any concerns you have. I'd also let them voice theirs. And then I'd have a discussion about what you can all do to minimize those concerns.

[Becca]

Hi Max,

Thanks, I think you are right. I am somehow afraid..I need to get out of this job which is making me miserable and don't want to ruin what is probably the only chance I have. At the same time if my future partners have an issue with me being trans then they wouldn't be the right people to do business with.  I will find an opportunity to discuss it with them. I have so many problems in my job right now I don't want to fully transition at work right now as it would just add to my trouble...there are others in my team who are just vindictive and judgement al for the sake of it.

If we lived in an ideal world it wouldn't make any difference to the business but in reality for this to work we need to interact with a lot of my professional network and as I am to be the "boss" it might not be as smooth as I would like.

I hope that makes some sense and is not just a rambling...

Thanks for your help.

[Cindy]

I think they already know!

They either think you are Gay (the usual) or... they know you are trans.

When I came out the usual response was ..... we knew something was up, just not sure what it was.

If you are going to start this business be honest and run with it.