✿Hey, I'm Sebastian!✿

[Lady-Bunny]

Aaah, it's so nice to be accepting of myself! Let's say a bit about me and how I got to where I am now:

I am a teen. I love bands and vocaloids. I'm out to my older brother and school.
It has been a hard journey; I came out to my 50+ father, whom didn't understand at all. He started being very rude, I wasn't in a great place. My past school didn't quite understand either, and told my father it was just a phase. Due to the massive amount of negativity, I thought I could just "get out of it" and "cure myself" with religion. As I was born non-religious, I went into religion myself.

It was almost a year - just under a year of being religious and killing the man inside me.
No matter what, the feelings of being Trans never fully died, and at the near-end of my religious journey, became a burden and suffering for me. The feelings controlled all of me, and I'm glad they did. At least I've re-closeted myself from my father with religion.

I have, thanks to this website and other blogs, accepted myself. It's a bit hard to understand the man inside me, as I've been hurting and hiding him for such a long time. But I'm learning.

How did you come to terms with being Trans? Why not tell me a bit about you!

[TG CLare]

Welcome to Susan's Place, Sebastian!

You'll find a lot on here that might answer some of your questions and things that will help you along on your own personal journey.

For a long time I'd ask myself why me and why now but I never did come up with an answer. In time, I accepted my transition as who I really am inside. Since accepting myself, my life has been a lot happier. It's not a Shangri-La but I can live with it.

Love,
Clare

[9]

Hello! I like vocaloids too! What a funny coincidence to run into someone who shares this interest in such a random place, usually people don't even know what they are. Anyways, it's good to hear that you've come to accept yourself as you are. I think one of the biggest hurdles of being trans is constantly questioning and doubting your feelings and their validity. I know I do that a lot, but if every time I think about it I end up realising that no, I don't feel comfortable with myself currently and I know that my problems have to do with the shape of my body and sexual organs then isn't it kind of logical to arrive at the conclusion that I really am trans? It's really not an easy conclusion to accept, but it is quite relieving to finally understand yourself better. I hope you'll find more confidence as time goes on : ).

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I had three phase of acceptance. The first was when I was 13 and I had my first feelings at that point I knew those feeling were going to be a part of me but I also understood treatment was impossible at that time. The second stage happened at age 23 when the feelings in me grew to the point were they could no longer be contained and my only option to continue living was to come out of the closet and seek treatment. The third happened about age 29 or 30 where I was living full time before surgery and I realized I had the life I had been seeking. I was no longer uncomfortable with myself but I understood I could never return to my old life.

The way I see it, it's near impossible to come to terms with yourself until you start treatment. Your feeling are incompatible with your body and it's a constant reminder that your not like everybody else. I would suggest you use the little time you have left to start accumulating the resources you will need to transition. This could be money, education or possibly moving to another country where treatment is possible.

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[V M]

Hi Sebastian 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Christy76]

Vocaloids are cool! I like The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku.  I also like manga and anime. Though I'm nearly forty I still watch and read. I came to terms with being trans after years of fighting with myself and dealing with depression and low self esteem. I had two choices either begin to transition or remain stuck and unable to move forward with my life. This could have possibly lead to suicide if the depression got bad enough so I chose to begin living as my true self.

It's not an easy path but it can be walked. In my experience and the experience of many other transpeople suppressing it only makes things worse in the long run. If you can I would work on acceptance of yourself even if you can't transition right now. If you make peace with yourself now when it comes time to transition it will be a little easier for you.