Okay, so yesterday I completely came out to my friend. She knew before, but I told her my new name, the pronouns, where I would like to be called by my new team to avoid any unwanted attention, etc. Anyways, she warned me she was going to do my nails, and as usual, I shrugged it off because this stuff never bothered me, it's been done before with other friends years ago. What I didn't expect was her not bringing any nail polish remover! I loved the pattern she did, but was scared of everyone at school. I think in total, only two people laughed at me..., but it never bothered me. I knew they were going to, so I prepared everything I could to defend myself if they said anything, but they just laughed and went back to their usual chatter throughout the math class. I mean, I wasn't alone, I had a friend sitting next to me, but she didn't question anything at all (although I haven't come out to them yet). So in all, it was a great day! It was only my nails done, and besides the fact that I tried to hide them all day (which was really hard, even though I was wearing my snowboarding jacket). Now I plan on wearing this stuff all the time! I was going to wait until I moved in the summer to start my transition in the summer, but thought "If it's eating me up now, how will I last until then? Plus it's better the sooner I start so... Let's keep trying". I know it's only a small part, if not only a fraction to actually transitioning, but I feel like I've accomplished so much. I'll be trying eye-liner within the next few weeks because weather I'm scared of the judgement I know is going on, it didn't bother me today so why should it ever? Feel great to be able to let it out here.
Rachel
