Embracing Myself

[Morgan-Kate]

So, I've noticed I've had a lot of depressing posts since I started my account here.  I figured that, since I've had some good days (not consecutive, but I'll take what I can get), I'd make a happy post!  A few days ago, I was out Christmas shopping, using my holiday discount.  I kept passing something that got me thinking: Every girl in the family has had a giant stuffed animal, except me. Mom had Ellie (my youngest cousin has a smaller version), my younger aunt had Chris-Moose, older aunt had Manny Manatee, etc.  Of course, it's not like they were all aware I was a girl, but still.
I ended up buying a three foot long floppy bear!  I felt great just doing that, but it felt even better when I got into my car and started hugging it.  I've found that I'm really embracing my female self and it just feels so liberating!  I've always felt like I had to censor myself, block the things I wouldn't say or do as a male.  Now it just flows right out, which has caught more than one person off guard.  I don't think I've felt this happy in a long time!

[Cindy]

I love reading something happy for a change!

[Jayne01]

I'm happy for you. It feels good to do something nice for yourself. Does your bear have a name?

I was actually thinking the same thing earlier today. I have made lots of depressing posts myself and today I was feeling pretty good and thought I should just post that it's a good day. If it is ok, I might just add it here that today is a good day and I'm happy! I'm starting to accept myself and feeling good about myself.

Jayne

[Cindy]

Jayne,

You should feel good about yourself. You are a brave woman who deserves to be happy.

I've read your posts, I know your pain.

Your honesty and strength are clear.

Today we all hug the Bear - with no name!

And we rejoice that we know each other and face our journeys together. And today is a good day, we are all stronger today.

[Morgan-Kate]

Now I wish I'd named that floppy bear! We all deserve good days and I'm glad to see others having them. For me, a day I can be myself is good. A day I can be who I want to be is great. It's different for others, but the feeling is the same. I can't quite say I'm brave, but I am proud. We all are.
Was that cheesy? I hope it wasn't, because I mean it.

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[Cindy]

Not cheesy at all!

Now that is a name for a bear!

[Jayne01]

Thank you Cindy.

Morgan-Kate, thanks for starting a happy post. But seriously! The bear needs a name!! My wife has named all our stuffed little critters (we have many!), so it just seems normal that the bear has to have a name.

[November Fox]

I've always felt like I had to censor myself, block the things I wouldn't say or do as a male.  Now it just flows right out, which has caught more than one person off guard.  I don't think I've felt this happy in a long time!

Interesting, I´m still in that phase where I am constantly censoring myself -  so I´m happy to read that you can get over it!   Happy for you!

[Deborah]

Yaaaay.  I have a big giant bear too that sleeps on my pillow after I make the bed in the morning.


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[Tommi]

Good for you!  I am working on censoring my behavior less, trying not to worry if what I'm doing isn't "manly" enough.

Hard to not worry about what others think, but I will get there!  I deserve to be me!

[Morgan-Kate]

Honestly, I was only stopped up for a second when I was buying the bear.  My supervisor walked by and saw it, then asked who it was for. I paused before saying it was for me, and then he said I was braver than him! He's generally the "muy macho" type, but I think he has a sensitive side somewhere in there.

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[Katiepie]

Glad to see a happy moment and great times! All those "macho" guys do have a sensitive side and/or some side they always want to keep hidden, thus the macho side. You may eventually crack your bosses tough exterior, and well be able to see that side one day. But you never know. The important thing is that you are happy!

Kate <3

[gennee]

I'm very happy for you, Morgan. Loving yourself is so important. I love stuffed bears myself.

[Qrachel]

Hi to all the negative (?) posters:

Happy Holidays and just so you y'all know, you aren't that negative and/or depressing; no, you're just serious about some stuff now and then.  Further, this is where we take that kind of stuff and use it for composting to grow a garden of beautiful flowers for all to see and admire! 

A rose by another name is is still a rose.

Take good care and be sure to keep in touch,

Rachel

[Morgan-Kate]

Figured I'd clarify that the bear does indeed have a name.  It's Cheesy (Just kind of stuck...).  He's currently residing in the back seat of my Jeep, which lead to me realizing I never told anyone his name after I'd decided it.
My friend and I went out to lunch tonight and he caught sight of it, asking why I had a huge stuffed bear in my car. I looked at him and said, "It's just Cheesy."  He was dead silent for about a minute before I realized he was trying to hold back a chuckle.  I apparently made him think of his older sister, who keeps a number of plushies in her car.
And thank you, Rachel, for making me (and us) feel better about my (our) venting on this site.  It's the reason I joined and also why my anxieties went away. I've got my first therapist appointment tomorrow and I'm not nearly as stressed or nervous as I was the day I set it up.
I'm glad to have made such a positive thread, too! Normally, I'm all doom and gloom, but it feels good when my happy feelings are contagious!

[Tommi]

I keep Mr. Tickles in my car with me! 

Was a book I had when I was little, and I loved it.  So when I ran across the stuffed Mr. Tickles I had to have him.

[AnahBear95]

Follow the path fate has set for you, and be happy!
Or just watch the Adjustment Bureau with Matt Damon:)

[Qrachel]

Love it - name that is!!!

[Jayne01]

Hello Cheesy:)