Yesterday was not good

[Larisa]

One thing it seems is people just cannot get it. They can't figure out that what it feels like, the hurdles to be able to do the things that any other girl can do. Like for me, shaving my arms. Im lucky as I have such blonde arm hair that no one could tell but for some, they have such dark arm hair that if they shave, somebody will judge.

Yesterday I felt like giving up after feeling like it's too much to fight. People always see me as a guy, not a girl and even those few who know my secret just can't seem to look past my face. What they dont get is even if I did fully change my body to fit a girls, Id be the same person they always knew. Id just have my body and brain fit right. Nothing changed, not my personality or anything else.

It's just like they can't look past. This one huge hurdle but even for example to be able to wear anything that is not even slightly boyish is a pain. Some can be soo controlling and wont think or emphasize instead. Even when they say I understand, they dont as they show they dont. You are so lucky, Im not. You dont have to work to be you, people already see you. I have to deal with a judgmental, stereotypical world that sees me a boy and thinks that's me and if I step out of what "they" consider me to be, Im a wrong. Like I have to play a movie role.

Yesterday was awful, today is better but I wish people wouldnt say they understand when they do not obviously.

[Rp1713]

It seems like some people don't know what else to say, but I feel your pain. I've still only come out to my girlfriend and therapist lately due to my fear of how other people like my coworkers or friends will think or say of me expressing femininity in any way. My girlfriend seems to actually understand to some degree, and has even seemed to start enjoying things like painting our nails and doing makeup together.

My body hair is actually something I worry about in particular. I've always been pretty self conscious of and I think it has a lot to do with my gender identity. It took me until this year to realize this, but I'm still nervous about trying to shave any part of my body because it seems like it would be futile with suck dark and thick body hair. It's somewhat of a bummer, but I will figure it out in the end I think.

It's a shame so many people fail to understand that no matter what we're all still the same people in the end, we're just trying to be more happy with ourselves, and who we see when we look in the mirror.

One thing you're definitely right about is today is, and can be better! I've found that when I wake up in some of my femme clothes regardless of what I'm set out to do that day and that I'll be dressed as a man while doing it that I feel better about myself, and have hope for what the day may bring. I suppose I'm just in no rush and this feeling is enough for me right now. I hope you find something like this that works for you too!


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[Amoré]

Hi Larisa

Most people that doesn't experience being transgender won't have an idea how it feels they can try to imagine it as much as they want to and never grasp a small part of what we are going through. Don't expect them to. In their experience gender is something irrelevant like what color hair they have or what color eyes they have. We trans people are much more aware of our gender because of our brain being a different gender to our body.

All of us want to pass and don't want to be figured out or miss gendered. The bad part is the life of a trans person is full of these hurdles and we learn to cope with them. It is a hard path to walk and sometimes we are our own worst enemy we shoot ourselves down faster than we know.

We all got our own path to walk and it is a hard one

Stay strong do what is right for you

Hugs - Amore

[Shannon morgan]

It's true that most people will never be able to understand what it feels like to be transgender. Some may come to accept it, some fully embrace you for who you are. And some will never get there.. We can help by educating people, or at least giving them access to that education. But in the end some just wont get it, no matter how hard we try.

The only thing i can say is that from my experience, be yourself dont worry what others will think (hard i know, but it does get easier). Eventually as i can attest too you gain confidence in yourself, and people do start to accept you. And those who dont, well they are toxic so as hard as it may seem you just have to cut them out.

[Christy76]

I hear you. Many people out there just can't seem to get past your body "buy you're a guy..." No we aren't, we never were. When we were born the doctor looked between our legs and said "it's a boy" and everyone decided he or she was right. We couldn't talk at the time so we didn't get a say in the matter. Then when we didn't fit societies mold it caused friction to put it mildly. Things are getting a little better out there but we still largely live in a world where people believe your sex and gender should always match. I hope you hang in there and don't let others tell you how to think and behave. It's not easy, I know.

[Ms Grace]

When the vast majority of society equates gender with genetic sex then you are going to struggle convincing them otherwise, especially since for those people their gender does more or less match their genetic sex.

Larisa, if you are presenting as male I can guarantee most people won't see you as anything other than male. Even for those of us who have fully transitioned to our identified gender there will be people who still refuse to see us as anything other than our genetic sex. My father fits in this box.

I knew that if I wanted people to see me as female and treat me as female - and I wanted that very much - then I would need to fully transition, no two ways about it. I had tried railing against the system but it got me nowhere except depressed and frustrated. So I understand where you are coming from, I'd just say don't expect most cis people to understand, but if they are accepting, sensitive and supportive that is more than you'll get from most.