First doctor visit tomorrow

[Gemini]

I'm hoping to start HRT soon. I have an HMO, so I've gotta go through my general practitioner to get things started. The appointment is tomorrow.

I'm scared I'll chicken out. For one, I don't know if my doctor is sympathetic to trans people. I've only seen him once, briefly, and I really don't know what to expect.

And I've got my mother's voice in my head telling me I'll ruin my life if I do this. I'd like to think that I'm past caring what she thinks, but I'm not.

I'm worried about what I should say. What he's going to ask me. What I'm going to do if I get rejected. Maybe there's still time to switch to PPO for next year...


--Kelsey

[Christina308]

Define ruin? Positive changes technically constitute ruin as well. What if the positives outweigh the negatives? A competent medical professional would understand the treatment for Gender Dysphoria as being HRT. If they are not sympathetic, then they are not competent. I'd be more concerned about ignorance leading to them to send you on to someone else, thereby giving you the runaround. What's PPO by the way? I'm in Canada and i'm not familiar with that one. I started with a psychologist who specializes in gender issues. They diagnosed me (With Gender Dysphoria), gave me a letter to give to my GP, who in turn sent me to an Endocrinologist, who prescribed the hormones. Have you any mental health professionals in your area who specialize in gender issues? I would think your doctor would send you to them, if unable/ unwilling to diagnose you.

[Gemini]

PPO is an insurance plan that gives you more choice in who you can see, but you usually pay a bit more for services. With an HMO I basically had no choice in who my GP was, they just assigned me one. And there are some good psychologists in my area that welcome transgender patients, but I have to get a referral from my GP for insurance to cover it.

Anyway, the life I have now is mostly daydreaming, or reading, or doing whatever I can to escape from my life. So there's plenty of room for positive changes to ruin it, and I wouldn't mind that. Thanks, Christina.

-Kelsey

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Kelseyness,

You won't chicken out. You're stronger than that. And you're stronger than any doctor who may not understand. Your self respect is depending on you.

This is all about you, nobody else. Your future and who you really are, and will be at the end of the journey. You won't let anyone stand in the way of you realising your true potential. You're bigger than that. Take hold, stand tall and strong. If he doesn't like what you're doing, tough!! There are plenty out there that do understand, and get it.

Keep in touch and let us know how you're coping.

Speak to you as soon as I write out my Christmas cards.

Huggs
Catherine

[Gemini]

Thanks Catherine! I'm about to head out now. I'm so nervous 

-Kelsey

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Kelsey,

Just a little trick about changing being nervous from a negative to a positive. Teach your butterfly's to fly in formation. Gives you a new strength.

Do you best.

Speak to you after you've been to the doctor.

Huggs
Catherine

[Gemini]

It's done! And the doctor didn't bite my head off. I'm almost embarrassed at how nervous I was. I started off just telling him about my depression, and he suggested some counseling might help, and then I spit it out and told him. And he gave me a referral to see a psychologist.

I guess I'm pretty lucky. Or maybe transition isn't as scary as I always thought it was. Oh well, I'll keep at it and see. For now, it feels great to finally be doing something.

Thank you for your encouragement, Catherine. It's been so easy all these years for me to jump down a rabbit hole and live in my head instead of dealing with my life, sometimes I feel like I barely know who I am. But you're right, I'm not that chicken after all.

-Kelsey