Slightly worried about family gathering tomorrow

[Skylar1992]

Hey there guys. Long story short, I am still a pre hormone MTF trans. I came out to my immediate family (the ones I live with and see every day) about 6 months ago and it was all fine. As well as that I said they could tell other people in the family if they want. 

So, tomorrow me, my brother and my older brother (who all know about it, but I haven't seen my older brother in ages) are going to an after wedding reception / party with the other half of the family who are a little more set in their ways. Now, I always aim to look gender neutral and even after post op will go with the gender neutral look so it wont be that obvious other than looking more feminine than I used too (use barely any make up etc, have done my eyebrows to look much neater).

One thing I am worried about is being sat at a table with all the family and someone mentioning the fact that I am trans in front of people like my uncle / grandmother and it just being totally awkward (my grand mother is a Fire and hell type of Christian ). 

Don't know what I am asking here really, but has anyone sort of had the same experience at a family meet up where half the family know and half the family don't? also im sure alcohol might make things worse   

[Lagertha]

You dont have to go if you dont feel comfortable. 

[Skylar1992]

You dont have to go if you dont feel comfortable.

While that is true, I want to go to see the family and it (in my personal opinion) is to face those situations other than hide from them 

[Laura_7]

While that is true, I want to go to see the family and it (in my personal opinion) is to face those situations other than hide from them 

You might try to remain relaxed and calm...
and if situations come up, which should be unlikely, try to remain calm and polite...


hugs

[Tommi]

I'd just remind the immediate family to allow you to determine who to tell and when.. and ask them to try not to blurt it out accidently.

[stephaniec]

Well, there is always the option of letting it happen and just get it out. If this is your chosen path , just go with it.

[Elis]

I've never really been in the same situation. I had a family wedding last year but wasn't out then. Anyway, I'd wear something I was confident in and not compromise because it may make others uncomfortable  (I'm looking at you caitlyn). I'd also look at wikihow articles on how to act confident and practice. I did the same thing for job interviews and it really helped. Plus a glass of alcohol never hurts...

[Skylar1992]

I've never really been in the same situation. I had a family wedding last year but wasn't out then. Anyway, I'd wear something I was confident in and not compromise because it may make others uncomfortable  (I'm looking at you caitlyn). I'd also look at wikihow articles on how to act confident and practice. I did the same thing for job interviews and it really helped. Plus a glass of alcohol never hurts...

Thanks for the advice 

[Elis]

Thanks for the advice 

You're welcome  . Hope it goes well for you and the day is at least slightly enjoyable

[purplewuggybird]

I think it would be important to have this conversation with the people who know in your family, especially those that you think will spill the beans. Tell them what you want and i am sure they will try their hardest to not out-you in front of the conservative family!


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[diane 2606]

This is probably too late, but androgynous avoidance of in-your-face clothing, makeup, etc. seems like a good policy in these situations. I was well into transition when my daughter got married. Since it was her day I showed up in boy-drag (tux) and walked her down the aisle. Conflicts were avoided and it didn't cost me a thing (other than my contribution to the cost of the wedding).