Dying to change but afraid of commitment

[Mitternacht]

Hello,
I'm fairly new to this. I'm a little scared to start anything that may have lasting effects or be very permanent yet because I don't think I'm ready or if I ever will be. I wanted to start a lose dose of T but I'm afraid it will affect me too much. Right now I'm trying to figure out what I want by trying simple things that have no lasting effect like chest binding, dressing differently, etc. does anyone have any good suggestions that may help me in finding ways to see if transitioning in a more permanent way would be good for me? I'm just terrified that I may do something I may regret, but I also feel very trapped.


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[Ms Grace]

This doesn't answer you directly but are you speaking with a counsellor about your concerns? A face to face support group with other trans guys might also help give you some clarity.

[Mitternacht]

I'm still trying to find a good counselor I can afford right now but I'm visiting my parents for the holidays. As soon as I get home I'm going to get back into searching. I would really like a support group.


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[greencoloredpencil]

I'm new and just recently out so take that into consideration in considering my answer, but something that really helped me solidify my feelings and help me know that I'm sure was talking to others person for the first time. I don't know your situation, of course, but the first time I actually got my feelings out to other people was very helpful in affirming who I am. I don't find myself having worries about regrets or second thoughts, but again, I'm just out and maybe those feelings might come to me later?

[Dena]

The fear you feel is a good thing because it means you are thinking things out very carefully and are aware that T isn't the solution to all the problems in your life. I think some day you will be ready for now you are exploring all your other options. When I was treated, it was in a group therapy environment and being able to talk with others who were farther along in the process helped me confirm that I was on the right path and that it was the solution to my problems. When you reach a decision, I think it will be well researched and will thought out. Take all the time you need and don't do anything you aren't comfortable with.

[suzifrommd]

does anyone have any good suggestions that may help me in finding ways to see if transitioning in a more permanent way would be good for me?

My therapist suggested I present female in as many social settings as possible. I joined a divorced/separated support group as a woman, and also an all-female feminist reading group (trans friendly, of course). It was coming back from one of their meetings, where I felt I was leaving my real life and returning to some mundane black and white world that I realized I wanted to be a woman all the time.