don't know how i can continue

[PastyPrincess]

i'm sitting in my room alone; it's the only way, really, for me to feel normal and happy about myself. there's no one to judge me if there is no one else here but me. i can't dress the way i want to around my family as they tell me how these feelings aren't true and that all i'm doing is faking it for attention. i hate how i can only feel happy about myself when i'm not in the presence of others, that i can only do what i want to behind a locked door in a dark room. it feels like i'm trapped here, confined here, with nowhere else to go, and nothing that i can do here. i hate having to be this way, and i don't want to keep going with it, i don't know how much i can keep going with hiding myself away for a large portion of my waking hours. it keeps getting progressively worse as i keep coming to the realization that i can't do this outside of my own walls and these feelings come back stronger and stronger and it keeps hurting. this feeling keeps collapsing in on me and its acidic effects continue to worsen and worsen and i simply can't bear it anymore.

[Cindy]

Hey Hon,

You're not alone.


I'm about start up the 2016 New Year thread - join in!!!

[Laura_7]

Its up to you but here are a few resources that might be shown:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788
This is a letter from an accepting dad. So its from the view of a parent.
Parts of it might be shown.
Some parents have the same restraints, like he talks about: did they cause it by an upbringing...etc...

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194946.msg1736596.html#msg1736596
There are brochures by reputable sources, for example the british NHS, showing being trans has biological connections.
Its explained with pictures. A brochure says explicitly for trans people, their families and health care staff.
If its biological its nobodys fault... and its not likely to be a phase...

Some people make a comparison with a twin... they will be like their male/female twin, with the same sense of humour...

and you might say you want to see a good gender therapist...
the gender therapist to help you along, maybe with easy reversible steps first, to help you find out how they make you feel...
so that you have someone to guide you and help you along, and no rash but appropriate steps are made.... appropriate also in your favour, so that it moves along...
you might ask at plannedparenthood or a lgbt place for counseling...
they also have email...
or look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1400316.html#msg1400316

some people come out in a letter... or via text...

another option might be to say you want counseling, for emotional reasons (don't make something up... if you are depressed you might say so), and pick someone who has, amongst other, gender on their list... they could help with telling parents so they can understand...

keep on keeping on, do a few things that make you happy...
here from page two on are a lot of suggestions...
http://www.nshn.co.uk/downloads/Distractions.pdf

Keep on keeping on, things will get better eventually. Just keep going. This is the most important thing.

Concerning your transition just take the next step. You might ask at plannedparenthood or a lgbt center for counseling, or look for a gender therapist.

There is a chat on susans with other trans people, you might go there and talk to other like minded people.

And if you feel like t please reach out...
there are helplines, and they also have a chat
www.translifeline.org
www.thetrevorproject.com


many *hugs*

[Amoré]

Hi hun don't let the world crumble you like this. I know how it feels being trapped in the wrong body.I guess you are still a teenager? Believe me I can relate strongly with the feelings you are having now. If you are a teenager I went through that whole process. I tried to castrate myself numerous times!

You are at the right place with good advice. Keep us up to date on your progress or just if you want to chat send me a pm.

Hugs - Amoray