New Member! Terrified! FTM in need of guidance!

[Kae.19]

I'm pretty sure I'm FTM and I'm going to talk to my GP next week about it, but I'm not sure what to expect.

I want to know anything I can! I'm absolutely petrified!


EDIT:

What I mean by this is, what will the GP ask me?
What will they do about it?
What happens after the chat with them about it?
What should I be prepared for basically!

And, also, I want to know about transitioning process and experiences.
Is it scary?
What happens?
How long before the hormones start to take affect?
Anything you can tell me! Please I'm begging you!!

[Ms Grace]

Hi Kae!

Welcome to Susan's Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

It's possible your GP will want to refer you to a counsellor or psychologist for a chat to look more deeply into your gender identity, etc. You're taking the right steps though!

Please check out the following links for general site info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Cheers

Grace

[suzifrommd]

Hugs, Kae. I transitioned in the opposite direction, and I can tell you it was the best decision I ever made. I was pretty happy before, but now I'm MYSELF! Nothing compares.

We'll be here with you every step of the way.

[Kae.19]

Wow I wasn't expecting responses so quick! Thank you!

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Most likely your GP will send you to a therapist and from there you will be referred to an Endo for treatment. Your GP may not ask many question but your Therapist will. You can go to Youtube and request "the transition channel" and that will give you an idea what therapy will be like. Hormones produced different effects at different rates. You could see changes in a few weeks or a few months depending on your genetics. The best thing is to relax and tell the truth in your own words. Lies will be detected and may delay your treatment but the truth will get you the best possible treatment.

[Christina308]

I'm a couple of weeks ahead of you (MTF), and can tell you that after two sessions with a psychologist, my fears have subsided substantially. You are definitely on the right track. There is lots of helpful information and people on this site. Browse around and hopefully you will feel less petrified. I felt way better after reading about other peoples experiences, because many were similar to my own.

[Tamika Olivia]

Knowledge is the enemy of fear. I can't help you with the specifics, because we're two ships passing in the night, but I can give you some resources.

First off, there is a book you should look into called The Transgender Guidebook: Keys to a Successful Transition. It's written by a therapist and has sections dedicated to both MTF and FTM. It has a lot of helpful information about everything from hormones and their biological effects to surgeries to how to pick out clothing for your target gender.

Second, there are some youtube channels I like, there's "The Transition Channel" (as Dena recommended) and "Ask A Gender Therapist". Both have some good information on hormones, therapy, discovering who you are, and the like.

Third, there are a number of podcasts out there by and for trans people that discuss the day to day, in the trenches reality of transition. Knowing what others have gone through is a huge weight of the shoulders.

Fourth, I'd recommend researching some therapists in your area. Your GP may or may not be able to point some out to you, depending on his experience and personal biases. It's a good idea to know who is doing what in the area, and who is going to give you real help.

Fifth, I've run out of tips. Um... I probably should just delete this, but levity is also a good antidote to fear. This is a scary processes, but it's also fun. I liken it to dating. You get to date you, and find out who you really are. Enjoy it.

[Qrachel]

Dear Kae:

You've gotten some good suggestions here . . . and I second that your GP may not be a great resource though you'll only know when you meet with him/her.  Go with an open and fair mind - it'll be what it'll be.

Fear . . . it is such a big thing initially (paralyzing for me until circumstances dictated I had to absolutely deal with with my gender variance) and so many of us seem to suffer from it initially.  I came to realize that fear wasn't always a bad thing experienced in moderate doses; it began to help me see what was truly at stake - fear usually being a false positive in my case as I endlessly ran scenario after scenario about how my life had/is/would unfold. 

This passed in about 6 months from starting therapy, though fear wasn't completely a stranger in my transition and still isn't (we all have moments of fear now and then).

Sooo, it's perfect you turned to this site and welcome.  Please stay in touch and share as that's one of the best antidotes for dealing with high levels of fear.

Take good care,

Rachel

[ashtonpuff]

Well I'm on a thing where I take testosterone once every month and it just really makes me feel better about myself knowing that hey pretty soon I can start taking these pretty regularly and seeing changes that's what I'm really looking forward to but the question that's gonna get you when you do GIC which you probably know is gender identity clinic is "how do you know your transgender or what makes you feel like you are" I really had to think about that question and if your like me it's hard to express yourself and if you can't you just get frustrated like you know your transgender you know your not in the right body its just sometimes hard to express that and my best advice is yes its gonna be hard but when your talking about it or coming out to someone just make sure and tell them that hey just because I'm transgender doesn't mean you have to treat me like I'm royalty or in some cases or most don't treat me like I'm a piece of crap like tell them to use the right pronouns or try and use this name and just to get use to it like it will take time but you'll get there and when you do you'll feel so much better about the whole entire process.

Sent from my Fire Phone using Tapatalk

[FTMax]

Because you said GP, I'm thinking you are in the UK. Is that correct? Take a look at this link:

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Pages/local-gender-identity-clinics.aspx

The process over there is a little different than it is in the US, but from my understanding if you're going through the NHS, you'll need to tell your GP you would like to begin treatment for gender dysphoria. They would then refer you to one of the Gender Identity Clinics where you would be assessed by a mental health professional. That above site says that their goal is to go from referral to starting treatment within 18 weeks.

If you click around on that site, you can see which Gender Identity Clinic is closest to you. It looks like each of them maintain their own website, and some of them have answers to FAQs that may help you, like this one:

http://www.devonpartnership.nhs.uk/What-should-I-expect-at-the-assessment.612.0.html

If you're in the US, the process is fairly similar except your doctor is under no obligation to help you find a therapist. Most people here actually do it in reverse order by finding a therapist first and then having the therapist refer them to a doctor who will take care of their HRT.

My transition hasn't been scary. I went to an LGBT clinic here in the US, told the doctor I wanted to start HRT, she ordered some blood work, gave me an information packet, and I came back in 3 weeks to pick up my prescription. I started experiencing changes within the first week.

[Qrachel]

Dear Kae:

I'm just stopping by and offering a hug and a hello.  I'm keeping up with your thread and see some really helpful things have been posted.

Take good care and continue to share,

Rachel

P.S. I suspect this comes off a horribly normative , re: to just stop by and say, "Hi."  I hope so at least!   

[Peep]

Because you said GP, I'm thinking you are in the UK. Is that correct? Take a look at this link:

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Pages/local-gender-identity-clinics.aspx

The process over there is a little different than it is in the US, but from my understanding if you're going through the NHS, you'll need to tell your GP you would like to begin treatment for gender dysphoria. They would then refer you to one of the Gender Identity Clinics where you would be assessed by a mental health professional. That above site says that their goal is to go from referral to starting treatment within 18 weeks.

If you click around on that site, you can see which Gender Identity Clinic is closest to you. It looks like each of them maintain their own website, and some of them have answers to FAQs that may help you, like this one:

http://www.devonpartnership.nhs.uk/What-should-I-expect-at-the-assessment.612.0.html

If you're in the US, the process is fairly similar except your doctor is under no obligation to help you find a therapist. Most people here actually do it in reverse order by finding a therapist first and then having the therapist refer them to a doctor who will take care of their HRT.

My transition hasn't been scary. I went to an LGBT clinic here in the US, told the doctor I wanted to start HRT, she ordered some blood work, gave me an information packet, and I came back in 3 weeks to pick up my prescription. I started experiencing changes within the first week.

To expand on this, your GP may refer you first to a mental health team before you get a referral to a GIC. And even if the target is 18 weeks, the wait times vary from GIC to GIC, and many are up to a year or more - but the stats I'm going on there are over a year old, so things may have changed.

What will the GP ask me?

My GP meeting was very short - they asked me why I felt this way, and for how long, and how many people had I told, and what research I had done and plans I had, what would happen if i couldn't transition. They didn't express an opinion - they can't diagnose gender dysphoria that early and my GP may just have been trying to make conversation :P the HAVE to refer you to gender services regardless of how far along you already are or how sure you are.

What will they do about it?

Some GPs will refer you directly to a GIC, and some will refer you to a mental health team first. I got referred to mental health which could have been the GPs protocol for everyone, or could have been because when my GP asked me if i would be suicidal if i couldn't transition, I said yes. I got my psych appointment in about a month. I'm waiting on my second appointment and then hopefully I'll move on to GIC.

What happens after the chat with them about it?

You go home! And wait for your next appointment, which can vary wildly depending on where you live.

What should I be prepared for basically!

Be prepared to answer slightly uncomfortable questions lol. It's probably wise to print out and bring the NHS protocols linked already in this thread with you in case your GP hasn't read them or you need to reference them during your meeting. I also brought a note of the basic info - the answers to the questions my GP asked me in bullet points, that kind of thing, and the clinics i was looking at. I don't know if it did any good but it made me feel better. :P

For me, and I'm at a very early stage, it has been scary but only because of the unknown elements. Every time I make a little bit of progress it gets less scary. The best thing about the long waits we have to do is it means nothing happens too fast for you - it's never going to get out of your control or ahead of you. It means you can split parts of the process into bite-size chunks too. Getting the courage to make the GP visit is one of those chunks, so you're already making progress.

[Kylo]

I'd say be prepared for a long wait in the UK... mine was 10 months just to get a first appointment at a GIC.