I had never really considered the question with any real serious thought because it scared the hell out of me. I can remember as a youngster may 11 or 12 just starting puberty in the garage at home or might have been the bathroom...having a hunting knife in one and my "we fella" in the other hand certain that if I cut it off I would become a girl...I don't know what stopped me then I don't remember but I do remember being in my early 20's so distressed not knowing how to fix it and getting drunk one night so I could cut it off...all I did was fall asleep...lucky for me.
Since my decision to transition I have thought about this very carefully and what I am noticing is the more I head along the feminine scale the less I want it. I have no use for it....haven't have sexual intercourse in 10+ years and I already sit down to pee...so unless I keep myself "serviced" it can make tucking difficult...problem with that is I am not a huge fan of "self service" however it does make tucking so much easier.
I can remember fantasizing about being in an accident and only having my genitals hurt so they had to be removed therefore I would have to be a girl...cool works for me...I was about 9 or 10
So I guess I do have body dysphoria or at least Genital Dysphoria? Dunno but the thought of having it gone sits very pleasantly with me.
Sarah T
