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Coming out in Stealth Mode

Started by mnrjpf99, December 21, 2015, 09:50:03 PM

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mnrjpf99

For me, I think the best way, is to come out in "stealth mode". I already wear women's cloths that could be considered gender neutral. My hair is long. I put it up in a pony tail. I usually only put it up in a bun at night when I go to bed. It helps keep my hair from being a major mess in the morning. Lol My personality is feminine.
Most of the people I know, know that I am way more a female than male anyway. They also know that I wear "some" women's clothes cuz they fit better because of my size.
In my situation, I know I can pull off being a woman with my body. I am very small boned and have somewhat of a feminized body in the first place. My face on the other hand, uh no... I think I my self would look really bad if I tried to do the make up thing. I would just look like a man trying to look like a woman. (at least that is what most people that don't understand would see). The sad thing is that most people just see a person at face value and not who they are on the inside.
I also have a 6 yr old that would not understand why his daddy looks like a girl. I can't put that on him.
I want to start HRT soon. Yes I know that my boobs would be a dead give away but oh well. I will more than likely only end up a B at best.
I just think this is the best way for me to be who I am and not have a lot of problems with acceptance.
People accept me as I am now being kind of in stealth mode. If I actually told my friends and family that I am transgender, it would not go over well at all; even though they kind of have figured it out anyway.
Does anyone else on here do it the way I am doing it? Am I wrong for doing it this way?
Yes, I guess I want my cake and eat it too. (I am trying to cut back on the cake though. I am trying to lose a lousy 5 lbs. What a pain in the butt. Lol)
There is a HUGE difference between acceptance and just being tolerated. Being who you really are and being accepted is awesome, but merely being tolerated for who you are, would be more hell than it's worth. No matter what. Never change who you are for ANYONE because they are not worth it...
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Deborah

Yes.  I am doing it that way and for now at least it's working pretty well.   There is kind of an ironic side to it though.  When I am out now a days I usually wear women's jeans, and a pull over sweater shirt.  Whereas a year ago I used to get called sir in most instances that is becoming increasingly rare.  Most of the time now people don't gender me at all, at least not out loud.  When I am gendered I am called ma'am at least twice as often as sir, at least until I speak.  I haven't really worked on my voice much yet.

Whether I'll keep doing it this way forever is something I don't know yet.  So far I am 11 months on HRT.


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Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love that is contingent upon authority, punishment, or reward. True love is respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a healthy, unafraid human being....  - Dan Barker

U.S. Army Retired
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