How to deal with being misgendered?

[alexanderkgranic]

So I guess I'm at this point where I don't look female enough to sway people away from my voice. As a result I am constantly being called sir and being referred to with male pronouns. It's pretty disheartening and I hate it.

I was wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this much and how you may have found a way to cope or deal with it.

I'm new here, btw .

[purplewuggybird]

Welcome! I am sure a moderator will come by and give you some *nice reading,* but I'll respond first. So, I live in a pretty liberal city and that may or may not apply to you. Sometimes people will just naturally do it, even though I literally look 0% feminine except for my clothing. This is, of course, as you described, different for you. If you have the courage to speak up to the person misgendering you, I would just say something short and sweet but to the point. For example if someone was referring to a transgirl, --"he has soup in the kitchen" you could just shortly reply "she." I guess the point is not to offend people or make them feel bad, but also  make sure they know what to do as this defiantly effects you. This is a strategy, but defiantly requires a lot of courage (I struggle to do it). I wish you the best of luck!
Purple

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Most of the time when I am mis gendered I ignore it and move on. Sometimes I might get made but I don't show it. One thing that prevents mis gendering is wearing a skirt or a dress. They may still know but they will gender you correctly. Pants are open to interpretation and it can go either way.

We have a voice section and while we talk about surgery a good deal, we are aware of the therapy approach and can help you with a non surgical solution. I have a surgical voice but my starting voice was so low that I need to use the combination of my surgical voice and my trained voice to hit the proper feminine range. If you need some help with this, let me know.

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[JLT1]

Yep. Purple was cortect, there is the mod with the reading matetial.  You probably should read it sooner rathet than latet.

Anyway, misgender.... I show them my DD  breasts. Never misgendered again.

Ok, not really.  I correct them politely.  Thing is, as time passes, it's less and less and less.

Hugs

Jen

[Alexagon]

Made a new account because I didn't choose that last username...

Anyway today at work a customer told me I looked like a male version of her daughter. That really sucked. But I attribute it to my hair being up which I guess makes me look more like a male. It's like everyone sees past the makeup...

I have been misgendered when wearing a skirt once, but I think that was an isolated example. I would wear them to work but I don't know if I'd be able to pull it off well enough.

I've only heard bad things about surgery, so I've decided to go the therapy route. Haven't started yet but will soon. Were you satisfied with your surgery? Were there any complications?

Thanks!

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

[Cindy]

Hi Alexagon and Welcome to Susan's

I've removed your other account so that you can use this one.

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[Dena]

Voice surgery is pretty reliable and delivers mostly delivers whats promised. The problem is sometimes that's not what's needed and a surgical voice is 50% surgery and 50% therapy. I have heard voices in the feminine rage that still sounded male. I have also heard lower voices that sounded female. When you are ready, spend some time in the voice section of the site and we will be glad to help explain thing to you.

Therapy is cheaper and anything you learn can be applied to a surgical voice should you need it. As for complications, my voice is at the 5 month mark and is still healing. The pitch is what the doctor promised. Some voices are good after a couple of month but mine could take up to a year to reach it's final form. I am happy with the surgery, I just hoped it would heal faster.