Day to day

[Terra]

Here is a question I hope someone has successfully dealt with. How do you get by day to day with dealing with your trans issues? I've been to focused on the trans issues in my life and its affecting my schoolwork. I'm trying to be patient and wait untill at least Halloween before I try anything, and its January when I start my RLT, but I still can't seem to be able to push this away enough to get my stuff done. How have you worked or gotten past the trans issues to get stuff done?

[MeghanAndrews]

Angel, I think getting professional help and/or talking to someone you can really trust (if you are out) can help. Also, being a member of online communities such as Susan's and RL communities in your area can help. To me, the worst thing would be to deny it, push it down deep and try to just focus on other stuff. It is still there and won't let you do anything else until you deal with it...in my experience. If you are in school, is that college? Can you go to the mental health facility for counseling? Maybe that would help?

[Kat]

I have kind of gone through this.  I came out to my friends/family January of  my senior year.  So not only did I have senioritis, but also that added distraction of a sort on doing work.  I found that having someone to talk to often about it helps a lot.  A therapist is good, but you can't really see them every day, or if you do it is incredibly pricey. If you have a close friend who knows or whatnot, then I recommend talking about things with them if they are okay with it.  Just getting it off your mind helps to focus the rest of the day.  Of course if don't have that option, then I am not too entirely helpful, sorry 

[Terra]

Yes I am in college, though the counselor has admitted that the gender issue is a bit out of her league. I'm helping her in that as much as she is trying to help me by supplying information.

No, my friends know about me, and my parents have known what I've been doing for the last year. It seems I can keep everyone's secret but my own, my honesty is going to get me in trouble one of these days.

No I suppose the feeling is more like having opened a door and wanting to walk through it, but having to wait for months before you can. I'm trying to finish up my laser and hope to have grown my hair out enough to get it styled for the spring semester. In October I plan to go for a 'test run' to see how badly the town will react, and adjust accordingly.

But in the meantime I got this floating in the back of my mind, and am starting to wonder if I shouldn't just start full time now. But as I just lost my job(Really getting tired of that ><) at a fast food joint do to a snob boss, i'm afraid of not getting hired somewhere else. I hope to get hired on campus to better cope with the coming winter and snow. Plus the (hopefully) protection I would have once I do come out. But desptie all this its hard to focus on my studies, its hard to focus on anything right now. So any tips?

[MeghanAndrews]

Just an idea Angel, but what if you designated a certain amount of time each day to kind of be your own "gender" time. Since you are saying that you really need to study and stay focused, maybe if you gave yourself and hour or two each day, at night before you go to bed, to really explore things you'd feel more at ease during the day knowing that you set aside time each day to think about it? You could document your thoughts in a journal, do research, etc. and then still be able to move toward your eventual goal. I think the key thing is remembering that this doesn't all have to be resolved TODAY and won't be. It's a long process, will most likely be with you forever and isn't going anywhere. Set aside "you" time to deal with it :

[ketti]

My experience is that failure is never as bad as you think it will be. Both your trans issues and school requires mental energy. And if you prioritize them the school will come out second place wont it? I'm not suggesting you totally ditch school, but if you ever feel school is taking energy and time away from things you consider more important, then a lower grade or some failed course is a cheap price for getting your own life back. If you force yourself through school it will only stress you out, and nothing good will come from it!