issue at work

[Jaiden986]

Just wanted to cry Wednesday.....i have a co-worker who for the past 5 months has been making disparaging remarks about transgender individuals,anytime he's said these things in my presence i nicely ask him to stop making those remarks around me(he doesnt know im a transgender right now)but i feel i shouldnt have to out myself to him to make it stop so ive continued to ask him to stop when he makes his colorful comments.....after 5 long months i finally took the issue to my lead in hopes of resolving the issue,to my discomfort he told me he found them funny then asked why i care.....so i outed myself to him in a (vain) attempt to have peace at work.

What happened next  has caused a whirlwind of emotions.....literally cried today for a good minute or two this morning,he told me if i were to transition(i start hormones in feb)i'd have to leave(1 min he later realized what he just said),backtracked and said grow a thicker skin you work in Maintenance after all....

Im just so dam mad and hurt right now,literally telling me he wont do anything if my co-workers start verbally taunting me or making malicious comments even if its "a slip of the tongue"  ,i feel i have lost any respect i used to have for this  man,doesnt help i work with teenage minded middle aged men

any advice is welcome and appreciated,and Merry Christmas

[rikki88]

Do you have a human resources you can talk too?? Does your company have any policy's against the comments?

[Jaiden986]

As far as i know we do but ,im afraid to go to Hr as its considered the Nuclear option in my department and to be honest i dont know if they are friendly towards lgbt individuals,i think that will be my only option though if the harassment starts and its frustrating that my lead doesnt have the sympathy or leadership qualities to actually deal with the problem,from what ive witnessed in the yr ive been here he sweeps problems under the rug hoping they go away,my biggest fear and frustration is going to Human Resources then losing my job as its a "right to work state" and arizona has no laws protecting from discrimination based on gender orientation

[FTMax]

Talk to HR. Let them know the entire situation, including that it is your intention to transition in the workplace. Especially tell them what your supervisor said. He was completely out of line to say it. Even if they don't have a policy preventing discrimination, they're asking for a lawsuit if they allow a supervisor to get away with saying something like that.

Ask what the procedures are for someone transitioning on the job. Ask them to give sensitivity training to the people you work with. Ask to transfer locations/departments if it's a possibility and you feel uncomfortable enough.

[Debra]

I agree. Talk to HR. This is a really bad sign for trying to transition there.

Not sure what other options you have for finding another job....

[bobbisue]

    I can sympathize with tour situation I work in a department with a similar attitude though some days a teenage mentality may be a little more mature than the reality we have laws here that protect against discrimination against transgender people it would require coming out to my whole town and i am not ready to do that at this time so i have to put up with much of the crap and try to change the subject fortunatley  men are easily lead

  good luck bobbisue

[Debra]

I should probably add that before I came out, i was worried about one particular coworker who tended to be obnoxious and mean about things.

When I was trying to figure myself out and started wearing a 'man-bracelet' he basically said it was 'gay' to do so. I thought for sure I'd never be able to come out at that job.

But I did. And guess who wasn't so bad after all? That guy. He was one of the most respectful.

It does seem different from your situation but thought I'd share anyway

[Qrachel]

Hi:

Sorry to hear about the discrimination at work; it sucks.  Seeing HR is necessary for a bunch of reasons not the least of which is beginning to create to paper trail.  Also, keep a serialized record of everything that is related to to this, and get legal counsel.

Many years ago I faced something similar and really appreciate what you are going through.

Take care,

Rachel

[Jaiden986]

Thank you everyone for your support and advice,the situation has been de-esculated for now,  im continuing to keep a positive outlook and keeping record of any problems i encounter at work,much love to everyone

[CarlyMcx]

Before this kind of thing happens again, consult a lawyer who is licensed to practice in your jurisdiction, and who has some expertise in employment law, particularly "hostile environment" lawsuits.  It should not be hard to find one who offers a free consultation, and if paying for a consultation seems expensive, then ask yourself what price you put on your peace of mind.

Forewarned is forearmed, and people will back off next time if they know that:  1)  you know your rights; 2)  you are prepared to fight; and 3)  they have something to lose (like their jobs, their money, their reputations, and their credit).

[Jaiden986]

Ill do that,if it comes down to to it ill see what a retainer would run me,im a little relieved that the situation calmed down,but this is only the beggining,im hoping nothing happens once i start hrt,thst what got me worked up,i havent even gotten that far and problems reared their ugly head,im really hoping nothing starts again but it does i think another Hr visit and a lawyer will be necessary

[itsApril]

As far as i know we do but ,im afraid to go to Hr as its considered the Nuclear option in my department and to be honest i dont know if they are friendly towards lgbt individuals,i think that will be my only option though if the harassment starts and its frustrating that my lead doesnt have the sympathy or leadership qualities to actually deal with the problem,from what ive witnessed in the yr ive been here he sweeps problems under the rug hoping they go away,my biggest fear and frustration is going to Human Resources then losing my job as its a "right to work state" and arizona has no laws protecting from discrimination based on gender orientation

Jaiden986,

Im so sorry you are going through this.  But let me correct a couple of misunderstandings.  First of all, it doesn't matter at all if you live in a "right to work" state.  That only deals with whether or not a collective bargaining agreement between an employer and a union can require you to become a union member as a condition of employment.  That doesn't have anything to do with the issue you described.  So don't worry about it.

Second, it doesn't matter that Arizona has no state law forbidding gender discrimination.  Last time I checked, Arizona was still a part of the United States.  So your employer (assuming it has at least 15 employees, and it sounds like it does) is subject to a federal law, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  Title VII prohibits an employer from discriminating on the basis of sex or gender, and requires the employer to maintain a workplace free of discriminatory harassment based on sex or gender.

You were correct in going to your immediate supervisor to complain.  If the misconduct continues, go and complain to Human Resources.  HR will either take action or it won't.  If it doesn't, you can file a discrimination charge with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, the federal agency that enforces Title VII.  EEOC had a landmark decision in 2012, Macy v. Holder, that clarified that transgender discrimination issues fall within the scope of sex and gender discrimination prohibited by Title VII.

That's quite a mouthful of legal gobbledy-gook, but the bottom line is that Title VII requires that your employer (yes, even an Arizona employer!) is required by law to protect you against gender-related harassment/hostile work environment by a co-worker.

I'm so glad to hear that the tension in the workplace has cooled down for now.  If it starts up again, sound off.  For future reference in case you need it, here's the contact information for the Phoenix District Office of EEOC:

Phoenix District Office
Location:   3300 North Central Avenue
Suite 690
Phoenix, AZ 85012-2504
Phone:   1-800-669-4000
Fax:   602-640-5071
TTY:   1-800-669-6820

We all have you in our thoughts.  Lots of us have been where you are now.  You are not alone.

[Jaiden986]

Thank you for the information and for clearing that up for me