Why is it so hard to get motivated?

[awkward-shark]

I've never been a fit person tbh. I'm 20 y-o, trans-masculine, obesity type 1. Fortunately I don't have any kind of illness related to obesity like hypertension or diabetes.
I'm eating healthier and healthier, I'm vegan but I can't get motivated enough to get up in the morning and go to run or bike. And I know that's what I have to do because my main consern rn is to lose weight and mass to obtain a more masculine shape... but even with my goals clear it's very hard to exercise more than 2 times a week.
I bike to school as often as I can (I go in the afternoon and the sun is very hot at that time), even though, I do 30min. to school and 30min. back at slow speed so I don't know how good that is for me... I know is good because it keeps me active on the days I don't go biking in the morning but I don't think is enough to make real progress.
Any advice on how to get motivated? I won't join a gym because I know the only thing I'll do is cardio (since that's what one must do to lose weight) and I feel stupid paying a gym to do something I can do at the park. Besides I hate the whole gym enviroment, I always stop going because I don't like the place, the people, the music, the rutine.

[igatun]

hm. I'm definitely not the best person regarding motivation to workout (although I usually make it to the gym at least 3x a week as per my goal ) But these are some of the things that have been helping me:

I think the most important thing I've realized is that it is not so much about motivation as it is about dedication. It doesn't matter if I don't want to exercise because it is just something that I do no matter if I want to or not. Sort of like homework. I do a lot of that even when I don't want to...
Of course, that is very theoretical because there are times when the lack of motivation exceeds the dedication. It's still something I'm working on

Also I try to make exercising something enjoyable. I take the mindset that if I do anything, even if it's just a 15 minute walk, it's better than doing nothing at all. And then after I will think 'hey, maybe that wasn't so bad after all! maybe it was actually sort of fun!' and then next time it is that much easier to do!

Once I get my gym clothes or my running gear on, it's much much harder for me to decide that I'm not going, so if I'm really not feeling it, I'll just get dressed and that will actually force me to go.

I get bored doing cardio really really easily, so I've been downloading podcasts and listening to them and that helps my mind wander and the time go faster

Also I've recently started paying myself $1 for every hour I go to the gym or for a run, and that money must go towards something fun or indulgent for me.

I think that's all I've got for advice... I hope it helps a bit!

(Also high-five, fellow vegan!)

[Beth Andrea]

I've been struggling with depression for a long long time...that's a big downer.

I joined a local gym, went about once a month for a couple of times, then asked a trainer there "How in the heck can I motivate myself?"

I figured he'd just say something like "you just gotta make it happen!" but he didn't...he said he had the same problem of how to start, and then how to keep at it. He said the first couple times he was just being stubborn about going, but then someone complimented him on his looks/fitness.

That gave him a spark inside that kept him going...he liked knowing that people actually noticed good fitness! And he wanted more of that, so that's how he became a trainer as well.

For myself, no one's mentioned my physique (yet), but his words translated inside me to "it's OK to admire your body, and its OK to work to bring out the trim "you"!"

Corny...maybe. But I'd never looked at myself before with any trace of ego...now I know it's OK to look at and take pride in one's body.

[awkward-shark]

I think the most important thing I've realized is that it is not so much about motivation as it is about dedication. It doesn't matter if I don't want to exercise because it is just something that I do no matter if I want to or not. Sort of like homework. I do a lot of that even when I don't want to...

That's actually a new perspective I had never thought of... I may start to think this way more often. Honestly, I can get motivated to go out one day, but the next day gets kinda hard. Lazy, I know. Even if I enjoy it I can't put myself out there, I blame social dysphoria, but it's also a bit of my fault, I shou.d thingk that losing weight will eventually help my dysphoria but my brain is so stuborn!

Beth Andrea, I've also struggled with depression and I fear I might be back on those tracks. I hope to try a bit harder, eat better and eventually things will change for me and I'll get the confidence I need to get my ass to the gym... It's better than giving up, I guess.

[Valwen]

Between depression, obesity (I was at 280lb at one point) and extremely high blood pressure (pre medication it was around 180/115) I could never get myself to work out even knowing I desperately need to. It was like what dose it matter I could walk 500 miles and it wouldn't give me the body I want.

The thing that finally changed was starting HRT. Sure like all the medication estrogen and Tblockers make losing weight harder but it finally gave me something to work for ok it's not great but I am down to around 250 and it's been steadily going down I bought a treadmill and walk 2 miles 5 or 6 days a week and I hope to be down under 200 by Christmas. I guess that finally moving forward with transitioning gave me what I needed. I also watch tv whail walking otherwise I would go crazy.

--Serena

[Wednesday]

It's very hard to keep you motivated just having in mind the final/physical results because they take their time to show (it can be a lot of time for some people) while daily training is hard, *very hard* in fact. So for most people it's not a worthy balance (too much effort for too much time before seeing something consistent).

In my opinion best approach is a radical change of mindset. Not just seeing training as a homework or as a means to get your goal. Try to make it funny, challenging. For example, when I started cycling I bought a Heart Rate Monitor to keep track of my effort and used (still use) smartphone apps (Strava, Endomondo) and Garmin devices to follow and evaluate my progress. Try to challenge yourself daily or weekly, and feel good about it.

Its hell rewarding when you get to cycle at 19mph for an hour after being an obese person for most of your life. I failed all endurance tests when I was a teenager, I had type 2 obesity, can't run mile and a half. Now I can run 10. It's damn self empowering. Not just I look better (from 218 to 127 lbs), I feel really better, not useless anymore.

[alegutier]

To me, motivation is only a side effect. What you really need to figure out is your WHY, If you have a really strong why, then motivation will just naturally follow. This is something I do with all of my clients because it works.

For example: When I ask my client WHY they want to lose weight

A generic response "because, I want to be healthier, I want to learn how to eat better" This wont do much for us.

I then get to know them a little better, and I dig down what triggers they have to stay motivated. Then I help them find an emotional reason to lose weight. The more emotional the better.

A good answer "because I have always been a big person, I was made fun of all of my K12, and now that I have kids I do not want that example for them. I want them to look up to me and understand the value of being healthy"

Now that is one amazing and powerful WHY. I mean that is the kind of DRIVE you need to do anything! Your kids future.

I made a video where I talk about this here.


If you need help finding your why, I would love to help. I really enjoy helping people find their inner drive, because trust me that each one of us has a few.

[Lebedinaja]

There was a time, about one - two years, I went to gym 4 times a week, I had no real motivation and it didnt really make any fun, but I tought ... I need to be strong ... to defend me, my family and my friends and lastly my land.
So it was kind of a motivation - just do it!

if you wont find any motivation trough something, try music!

[RaptorChops]

I set up my own gym at home because I don't want to deal with people there. It's really hard to motivate yourself but sometimes what I do is look at other FTM guys who have worked out and have great bodies. Their results inspire me to work out. Then I think about how much more masculine my body will look if I do work out. Other people say my body looks masculine but to me I feel like I'm still stuck at that in between (2 years on T). My arms don't look toned like a guys, my stomach hangs over slightly. I've been eating moderately healthy for about two months. I've lost  a few pounds but still my stomach bothers me and hasn't seemed to change. I guess you just have to look at what your future can hold if you keep working hard.

[Erica_Y]

I share similar distaste for gyms and exercise programs and I have found that for me setting a goal I cared about helped provide the framework to be successful. Since you like running or cycling you might look for an event that is 4-6 months out and enter it for fun. I did that for cycling with both road and Mtb and it worked wonders for providing me something to work towards and not just do routine stuff which does not work to improve fitness or for me in general. Maybe a BMI goal as well. Also incorporating fun activities as exercise helps a lot and tricks you into working harder that just exercising such as tennis, squash, hiking, dancing or what ever really helps and sets the stage for a lifestyle change and adaptation. Setting a goal and making it fun and meaningful was the ticket for me and it worked quite well.

[purpleshiny]

I'm a cardio junkie too and really am not a fan of the gym culture, and I even have a personal trainer certification.     I dropped out of a very expensive Muay Thai / conditioning program shortly after I realized wasn't into the upper body stuff.

With that being said, I have always loved bodyweight and gymnastic ring training for non-weights, non-gymbro alternatives.  I used to be able to do iron crosses, L-sits, ring dips, various holds, etc, and it really does amazing things that weights can't.

I've found that motivation comes from actually enjoying the exercise for what it is - a little treat to my soul - versus seeing it as work to get in better shape.  Feeling the endorphins from running, for instance; it's that better-than-drugs feeling that motivates me.

[neko]

for me, fitness, college exams and finishing videogames...are all things correlated..i have goals for each one. When i want fit a part of my body..i do those excerises and not others..this helps also with other things as mentioned above

[Tristyn]

I've never been a fit person tbh. I'm 20 y-o, trans-masculine, obesity type 1. Fortunately I don't have any kind of illness related to obesity like hypertension or diabetes.
I'm eating healthier and healthier, I'm vegan but I can't get motivated enough to get up in the morning and go to run or bike. And I know that's what I have to do because my main consern rn is to lose weight and mass to obtain a more masculine shape... but even with my goals clear it's very hard to exercise more than 2 times a week.
I bike to school as often as I can (I go in the afternoon and the sun is very hot at that time), even though, I do 30min. to school and 30min. back at slow speed so I don't know how good that is for me... I know is good because it keeps me active on the days I don't go biking in the morning but I don't think is enough to make real progress.
Any advice on how to get motivated? I won't join a gym because I know the only thing I'll do is cardio (since that's what one must do to lose weight) and I feel stupid paying a gym to do something I can do at the park. Besides I hate the whole gym enviroment, I always stop going because I don't like the place, the people, the music, the rutine.

Let me just say, congratulations for pursuing this and not having to deal with the extra baggage of HBP and diabetes.. Believe me, I know. Because I do suffer from the former (HBP), among a myriad of other health conditions that require me to undergo dialysis since age 21 and here I am age 26 feeling better than I did when I was age 10!^^

How is that? Well, some years ago I was introduced to my first at-home DVD workout (ironically by my dad) that was created by fitness expert, Tony Horton. This was P90 (not X, as X was too much at the time). Even P90 was difficult at this time. A couple years later, I discovered Hip Hop Abs. It worked out pretty well, since I love some Hip Hop and I like Hip Hop style of dance too. This one is by Shaun T. The one I am doing currently is called Body Beast by Sagi. This one really took the cake for me(no pun intended here), so to speak, because it promotes masculinity and body building, both of which I crave to own within myself. This one really pushes you at times, beyond reason, so make sure you are healthy enough from your doctor or whatever to pursue that one.

No, I'm not built like a tank or even a diesel truck just yet. But the other day, I was lookin' at my arms and I swear my biceps, triceps and shoulders are bulging out slowly.

And you do not have to work out in a gym. You can have the same equipment, used (since your muscles can't tell the difference between a rusty, old set of weights compared to brand new, shiny ones anyhow) and in the comfort of your own home. Aside from having crazy bouts of social anxiety, I also dislike gyms sometimes because I would have to go with my dad, the gym he goes to discourages grunting which is something I love to do now, I do not have a membership of my own and I could walk there and back but would rather drive because Imma have to exert myself enough just from workin out there. Other than that, I would love to go to the gym. This gym my dad goes to is ok cause most people I have seen there just go there to do what they gotta do and leave. Its nothing like the way its been portrayed in movies. That's probably why they discourage grunting so much to the point of an alarm going off if they catch you in the act.

The best advice I can give you is to eat right (meaning eating nutrient-rich foods with the correct amount of calories to meet your body building demands in 6 small meals spread throughout the day) and exercise at least 6 times a week for 30 minutes with one day of rest.

Good luck, bro! Please feel free to PM me if you have any more questions and/or concerns regarding this topic or you just wanna hang out and talk here. 

P.S. To be honest, I found it very hard to live a vegan lifestyle especially in conjunction with trying to get bigger and build muscle mass. I've tried it for a couple years, quit for a while, tried again and just quit altogether ever since. I'm not saying you should just give up though. My diet is still more strict than most, not just because of my body building but also because of my renal failure having to do dialysis and all.

[awkward-shark]

Thanks for every single one of your comments, for real. I had forgotten about this since the past few months I got a job and between that and school (right now is finals week) I hadn't been able to check this tread. I dropped my job and I think it's time to do something about this motivation thing.
Today I got really angry, I got misgendered at school by some strangers, a friend of mine corrected them but for some reason this really stuck with me even though I get misgendered literally ALL THE TIME. I left school very angry and almost crying and in my walk to the bus stop, in an epiphany kind of way, I saw a flyer of a boxing gym... I thought why not? sports are fun (used to play rugby, the only physical activity I enjoyed). The flyer also says they give you motivation, I really want to see if that's true.

To me, motivation is only a side effect. What you really need to figure out is your WHY, If you have a really strong why, then motivation will just naturally follow. This is something I do with all of my clients because it works.

For example: When I ask my client WHY they want to lose weight

A generic response "because, I want to be healthier, I want to learn how to eat better" This wont do much for us.

I then get to know them a little better, and I dig down what triggers they have to stay motivated. Then I help them find an emotional reason to lose weight. The more emotional the better.

For me, is because I'm tired of being misgendered, of feeling small and chubby, not man enough because I'm not strong  or big enough. I'm tired of being constantly afraid of following my mother's step and living with diabetes and hypertension.

Again, thank's all for your comments, I'll try to update soon.

[Kylo]

For me, I think it's because of the dissociation with my body. I know I should care about it, but being pre transition I just don't. People who associate with their bodies sure look at it more than I do in the mirror for example, and are probably more conscious of mistreating their bodies or being unfit. My SO cares about his body, and he actually likes his... and I've tried explaining that until I get surgery and hormones, no amount of fitness training is going to make me feel "better" about my body.

One thing I do respond to is deadlines. When I get one for surgery, which is a big thing and getting trimmer will make the procedure easier, I'll start dealing with my health in earnest. But until I get that date and confirmation, I still feel like someone could turn me down for it and everything I've gone through thus far would have been a waste. The thought of having to spend the rest of my life with this body shape is just too much.

Lately I got a temporary case of hypothyroidism and my weight went nuts. Getting it back down to where it was before that is proving difficult. But it's definitely related to stress. The more stress I'm under, the less I seem to be able to lose weight. Being transgender has subjected me to a kind of invisible stress all my life I suppose.

It's also easier to get weight under control when you are seeing results because you don't wanna waste your hard work... it's been bad lately since the results were just not forthcoming unless I literally starved myself.

[awkward-shark]

For me, I think it's because of the dissociation with my body. I know I should care about it, but being pre transition I just don't. People who associate with their bodies sure look at it more than I do in the mirror for example, and are probably more conscious of mistreating their bodies or being unfit. My SO cares about his body, and he actually likes his... and I've tried explaining that until I get surgery and hormones, no amount of fitness training is going to make me feel "better" about my body.

One thing I do respond to is deadlines. When I get one for surgery, which is a big thing and getting trimmer will make the procedure easier, I'll start dealing with my health in earnest. But until I get that date and confirmation, I still feel like someone could turn me down for it and everything I've gone through thus far would have been a waste. The thought of having to spend the rest of my life with this body shape is just too much.

Lately I got a temporary case of hypothyroidism and my weight went nuts. Getting it back down to where it was before that is proving difficult. But it's definitely related to stress. The more stress I'm under, the less I seem to be able to lose weight. Being transgender has subjected me to a kind of invisible stress all my life I suppose.

It's also easier to get weight under control when you are seeing results because you don't wanna waste your hard work... it's been bad lately since the results were just not forthcoming unless I literally starved myself.

Hey, I totally get you. It's really hard to take care of something you don't really like, specially when "progress" doesn't look like you want it to be. I do believe that once I get on hormones I'll feel a lot more motivated to work on myself, but that isn't happening soon; time is going by, I'm getting older and the chances of me getting hypertension or diabetes just gets higher... That's what I respond to, when I get my appointment for my endocrinologist, I don't care if I'm fit or supper toned, I want to be HEALTHY, because for what I've heard, if you start T when you're unhealthy, you're probably going to stay unhealthy.
Good luck with everything, and don't push yourself too hard, every small step is a step.

[Kylo]

I think you're right about T and needing to healthy before you begin it... or it being advisable at least. Thanks for the wellwishes too.

Honestly my main motivation to get fitter has been pain. The hypothyroid episode gave me pain, afterwards the gained weight gave me pain of all kinds... joint pain, back pain, migraine. And I wasn't even radically overweight which is the strange thing. I see people very much larger than I am out there and wonder how they must cope with the pain every day. Or maybe they don't suffer it the same way or maybe they don't have it at all and it's simply that my body has a threshold I should be beyond. In any case, this year I've started in earnest to get back to eating and drinking healthy things, cut down salt, and soon as I've got the Xmas workload out of the way I'll start exercising properly. At the very least toning and stretching in between the days for full workouts.

[Gertrude]

T will help shed fat and build muscle. Doing just biking and running, i.e. Cardio won't either.  You have to do some resistance training and increase protein intake. If you are vegan, it will make this harder. Cut back on sugar and carbs. As a nation we consume way too much sugar and its hidden in many foods. Read the labels.


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[Gertrude]

I'll also say a gym membership can motivate better as you would be paying for it. If you have training partner, that can help too.


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