Is age a big barrier for you when thinking of transitioning.

[stephaniec]

How much do you worry about starting transition if your past 25. Are you able to put aside the fact that the younger generation has had far more access to the information needed to be aware of the process of transition. Has age been a major factor in your confidence in your ability to successfully transition. I started at 62 and I'm glad I did and didn't let the age thing block me. I know when I first came to Susan's there was so much talk about the importance of starting early which is true it helps , but its not the total story. The talk isn't around as much as it use to be which helps us old timers.

[Cindy]

Well Stephanie,
It is no secret that I began therapy at 58, I'm now 62 and 361 (days).

If I had not transitioned with help I would not have made 60. Actually I had decided to kill myself if I couldn't get a referral, so I'd be 58 and rotting.

What is important is that help is now available, there is this site; there are Helplines for when it gets too much.

There are LOTS of TG people in TV and news. Transgender people may be seen to be 'different' but in most places we are accepted. OK there is still a lot of stupidity in many countries, but we will break that down. We are getting there by leaps and bounds.

Yes, waiting lists are crazy, but we are working on that and I am just waiting for some triggers to the Human Rights Commission - 2016 will be big. The WPATH conference in Amsterdam will be a game changer hitting biological causes. Bringing hard science forward that we will use against politicians.

In Australia we are fighting, we have $2mill funding for paediatric TG services - first time ever. OK adult services are a problem but we won't give up.

I knew I was a little girl when I was 5yrs old. I and you suffered, but our TG children will not and in time the adults will not.

Sorry if this became a rant but lets get over the grief of our past. Lets fight for the future and lets be positive.

We don't concentrate on age, we concentrate on rights.

Trans rights are Human rights.

Simple and obvious.

[stephaniec]

ok

[Naomi71]

I'm 44 and my age does affect my confidence in being able to transition. But I'm also hopeful, because I do have some physical traits that already are quite feminine. No bodily hair, a soft skin, my voice already was quite high, I'm often called "Mrs" over the phone. But I do it for myself. Passability is an issue, but the way I don't feel at home in my body is a bigger issue.

So yeah, I'm jealous of younger generations. When I had grown up in this day and age, I would have been recognised as a "genderchild" and be able to transition much more successfully.

[Deborah]

No, it doesn't effect my confidence because I don't allow it to.  Since there isn't anything I can do about my age I don't let that be a factor to consider.  What will be, will be.

If I let myself dwell upon it I can start to feel a little regretful so I just don't dwell on it.  I put that trigger away.

Reading what I wrote above it looks a little trite.  But it really is how my mind works. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[roxie rudi]

I do not intend to be trite with this but when all is considered we are the same people as we have always been deep, deep down. I am 46 and will be starting my transition via HRT very soon and I have to admit I wish I had available to me what is available to today's younger people while I also wish the same wisdom and knowledge had been available to me then too. BUT because I am (and have always been) me, age can not stop me! I am now more determined, wiser and financially better off than I have ever been so I will become the beautiful woman that I need to be. While life might throw struggle after struggle at my transition nothing will stop me! If it takes self discipline-I will give it, if I must forge my way through loneliness- I will do so, if I must be physically determined-I will be so and even when it requires surgeries-I will organise them while conquering my fears. In short I will use age to strengthen and guide my transition.
Please forgive if I have offended but it must be considered that the above is only in reference to me and is not meant, IN ANY WAY, to reference the necessities of others. This shows only the direction of the path that I feel I must take and I certainly understand that many other girls and women likely disagree strongly with me however I am merely attempting to communicate that age need not be a barrier when thinking of transitioning. Be strong, be beautiful!

[stephaniec]

my age has made me far more relentless

[Naomi71]

I suppose all ages come with their own advantages and disadvantages.

[Lara1969]

I have no choice. During christmas 2014 it became to clear to me that I am a woman. In the same moment it was clear that I have to transition. I have not the choice between living as a woman or living as a man. I would have had only the choice between suicide or live as a woman (suicide was not an option).

So I started transition at the age of 44.

[Ⓥ]

I have no choice.

Yes, totally can relate...  I mean, technically one could say "you chose HRT and chose to live life as a woman".  True; guilty as charged.  But I didn't choose the catalyst of those actions, which was being transgender.  I didn't choose it or want it.

Sorry, totally sidetracked, but to add to topic:


It was a small barrier, not a big barrier, but a barrier nonetheless.

When I took the plunge at 35 (still young to many, but I think my fellow 30-somethings can relate) I def felt I missed my exit for a successful transition.  So that made for many a deep contemplations; balancing the reality of:

A) staying a d00d and keeping everything bottled up to have a semblance of a normal life without ostracism and ridicule, yet living life disingenuously and secretively; because, hey, you're too old now. or

B) doing it all and being internally 'free', yet doing it with the very real prospect of forever being a man-in-a-dress to the world due to (again) starting too late.

I think what pushed me past that barrier is that I knew, KNEW, that I'd still be wrestling with the same dysphoria I've felt all my life, only at 40/45/50 and kicking myself for not doing it at 35 when things would be easier.  I basically did my future self a big big favor, hehe.

When the smoke cleared, my fears were unfounded and right now am really just thankful that it all worked out;  I realize I will never pass under specific & critical scrutiny, but I got what I asked for:  A safe, harassment-free life full of happiness!  "It's never too late" is said too often, but there's a reason for that:  It's 100% true.

[iKate]

It did a little but more so because I have an established life and family.

[Eva Marie]

I transitioned at 51. My age was absolutely not a consideration.

The only choice in the matter was between transitioning or as Cindy said "rotting" somewhere 6 feet under.

[BeverlyAnn]

I have to admit at age 66 I'm going to feel a little silly in the Endo's office but I don't have any choice either.  I thought the good Lord was going to let me take it to the grave but everything I had buried in my life just exploded on me at the end of October.  My therapist said when we were talking that the two times she had seen me socially in the few weeks before our appointment, she could tell something was wrong and I was really hurting.  I don't know if it was here on Susan's or somewhere else but someone put up a Chinese (I think) proverb.  "The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago.  The second best time is today."  Twenty years ago I had the knowledge of how to go about transitioning and the opportunity but didn't plant the tree.  I'm not going to miss the second best planting time.

[stephaniec]

I did to a certain degree in that I had no other path to take , but constantly thinking what's the point at 62 . I mean my life was over either way. I decided to try it out and I felt that this is good. My therapist told me why not at least enjoy what's left.

[Emileeeee]

I was pretty nervous about it. I kept thinking there's no way I'm going to pass, I'm going to be throwing away that portion of my life and by the time I get to enjoy it I'll be too old, etc. I think it may actually be easier now that I've taken that step though. I'm not a young kid so those extra constraints of current styles and perfect makeup and everything don't really apply to me. I almost always just wear jeans and a t-shirt and hardly ever wear makeup. Maybe I just got lucky on my area and nobody else really cares enough to be a jerk though. The city I have to do the name change in is one of the most dangerous in the country though. Not looking forward to that.

[roxie rudi]

There seems to be a consistently seen result and belief that transitioning later in life (from the mid forties on) precludes any hope of being passable. Are there ways of overcoming this? Can one transition and be passable? Could this be achieved by a stringent physical regimen (such as through strict health and fitness regimes) or does it require more severe measures such as FFS to be passable? I know we are all different but I am only seeking a general viewpoint here.

I am starting a journey that must be undertaken in order to avoid becoming suicidal but because I am a newcomer I am still hoping to be widely seen as a woman which, to me, is important to living as the woman I know myself to be and that is from where my question on "passability" arises. Please excuse me if I am ignorant but I will NOT give up transitioning and any help will be greatly appreciated girls. Furthermore I hope my ignorance is not offending anyone and so I ask forgiveness if it has done so. 

Be strong! Be beautiful!
hugs Roxanne.

[stephaniec]

that's what we're all here for is help and education.

[Randi]

In later years the difference in appearance between men and women diminishes.  The bar is lowered considerably.  A 65 year old transwoman doesn't need to look like a 20 year old cis-woman.

[Ⓥ]

There seems to be a consistently seen result and belief that transitioning later in life (from the mid forties on) precludes any hope of being passable.

I view passing and age like I view exercise:  It's much easier for a 20 year old to look toned and fit versus a 40 year old, but you can't extract from that fact that it is impossible to look toned and fit at 40.

[stephaniec]

the thing is that the person in the media spotlight right now looks pretty fantastic for a person who's 65.