In a Relationship and Need to Know

[ThatGirl2147]

Well, let me start this off by saying that this person and I are in a, ahem, a BDSM relationship. We met on a social media site, and we hit it off. Now, this person's as sweet and respectful as the day is long, but I still want to know, is there any kind of red flags or warning signs I should be looking for, like, to warn of a potential abuser? Because I heard that they're unsettlingly common, especially in the BDSM community and especially to trans women.

Thanks in advance to anyone who can share with me some knowledge.

[Laura_7]

-You might meet in a public place first, and get to know each other
-You might get to know each other better, and see how they are as personality... are they kind of balanced, considerate, and trustworthy ?
-many people are not only dominant but also versatile. You might ask. Versatile persons know both sides and might be more considerate.
-negotiate safe words and demand they be respected.

What would put me off is cruelty... and kind of unbalanced behaviour... and drug use...

well...
wish you a balanced relationship...
take care... I'd say don't go too far... I'd stick to a bit of teasing ...


hugs

[ThatGirl2147]

-You might meet in a public place first, and get to know each other
-You might get to know each other better, and see how they are as personality... are they kind of balanced, considerate, and trustworthy ?
-many people are not only dominant but also versatile. You might ask. Versatile persons know both sides and might be more considerate.
-negotiate safe words and demand they be respected.

What would put me off is cruelty... and kind of unbalanced behaviour... and drug use...

well...
wish you a balanced relationship...
take care... I'd say don't go too far... I'd stick to a bit of teasing ...


hugs

I can see that. They say they're a Switch, which means they do both domme and sub, but we decided that they'll be the domme, and I the sub. They've been willing to negotiate with me about some tasks, but we ain't met in person yet, although I do really want to do that.

Thank you for your advice. And, don't worry, they tease me plenty.

[ThatGirl2147]

Well, that relationship lasted about as long as a DumDum pop. Oh, well. I leave the relationship with more knowledge and experience than before, so that's a silver lining or something.

[Laura_7]

Well, that relationship lasted about as long as a DumDum pop. Oh, well. I leave the relationship with more knowledge and experience than before, so that's a silver lining or something.

*hugs*

Would it be an option to look maybe on OKCupid or PlentyOfFish for people you can click with and have a feeling you like ?
You might yourself look for a few interesting profiles and contact people...
I'd say just filter out people you have not a good feeling with... you can always nicely say no...

keep on keeping on...

you will find someone eventually


*hugs*

[ThatGirl2147]

*hugs*

Would it be an option to look maybe on OKCupid or PlentyOfFish for people you can click with and have a feeling you like ?
You might yourself look for a few interesting profiles and contact people...
I'd say just filter out people you have not a good feeling with... you can always nicely say no...

keep on keeping on...

you will find someone eventually


*hugs*

Eh, I ain't too worried about it. I mean, if I find someone, I find someone. If not, then there's no sense worrying about it. Thanks for your concern.