Just want to cry

[kg85621]

  I am 28 and have not even started my new life. have not seen a therapist or spoken to anyone other than susans. I just feel i am wasting my life. I cant bring myself to accept or tell the ones close to me. I know something is off and I need answers I just cant make that next step. I just want to crawl up and cry. *sigh*

[stephaniec]

make an appointment to see a therapist about life's problems.you can always quite after first session.

[Dena]

You have a decision with three options.
1. Stay as you are
2. See a gender therapist
3. Come out to those who are close to you.

We can't do much for you if you pick option 1 but if you need help with the other two, let us know what you need. You are feeling a good deal of fear because of this decision and at least for me, the fear wasn't real. Once I started moving, the fear would go away until I hit the next issue. Once that issue was handled, the fear was gone again. It's far better facing your fears and get over it than living with it.

Seeing the time of years it is, this would make a great New Years resolution.

[Laura_7]

Have a big *hug*

Well you might do a few things you like...
-start growing your hair out and keep it in a ponytail in guy mode.
-looking for some womens clothing. Second hand stores could be a very good source. Its fun to try them on, often its not even sorted by gender there, and you can get aquainted with sizes.
-wear some feminine things that remind you... some underwear... or some accessoires like a keychain...
-you might look for the next lgbt center or plannedparenthood near you, and ask for some counseling there.
-additionally you might look for a good gender therapist

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1400316.html#msg1400316

and there are even online therapists
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,187135.0.html

you might tell people you go to a therapist, for emotional reasons... they might help coming out later...

and here are some resources...
stating being transgender is biological, which is socially more acceptable imo...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

Its also an emotional process.
Keep going and keep at it. Just take the next step. Take it step by step.


many *hugs*

[iKate]

You gotta do what you gotta do.

Trust me I was a nervous wreck when I picked up the phone to make the phone call. You just have to DO IT.

[Ms Grace]

If you feel you need answers and need to put things into action then talking to a therapist is the best first step. They can, over time, help you make sense of what is going on for you and help you decide on what you want to do and how to do it. Until you've figured out a part of it then telling people around you might not be very helpful to your emotional state as even the closest people to us can be confused and even hostile to the news you are trans (or think you might be trans).

[Mariah]

You could really benefit from a therapist. They help sort through this and come to terms with those things that your having difficulty with now. Hugs
Mariah

[itsApril]

I agree with the responses above: therapy sounds like the best starting point for you.

A good therapist can help you figure out the best approach so you can work out for yourself whether you want to go down this path.  If your answer turns out to be yes, the therapist can point you in the right direction.  If the answer is no, then you can just end the therapy and this chapter is closed.  Therapists are sworn by the ethics of their profession to keep your secrets and to be guided by YOUR best interests.  They've seen lots of people who have faced problems like yours.  You're not alone.

Please do this!  You will feel so much better if you take a constructive action.  You have nothing to lose but your loneliness and misery.