Guy at work the other day

[Larisa]

Okay so Ive been shaving my arms, I plan on permanently removing the hair on my arms and hands by myself. I just have put some money aside. Where I work, there is this guy who thinks awful of trans people. He was told to stop it but he still tries to every so often. I try and be nice considering he has aspergers but it gets tough when he is so mean towards trans people for one of many.

He saw my arms the other day and he saw they were shaved. I made up an excuse that I shaved them but told him that I do plan on getting rid of the hair starting in the next several months. I told him I shaved them and I liked how smooth it felt that I want to get rid of the hair forever. This not being completely true as I shaved them as Im a girl. He doesnt know the whole truth but he said something and I had to kind of skew the truth some.

He walked away and was like whatever like it was weird. This not being the first time he has been like this. I wonder why it bothers him so much.

What he doesnt know is I plan to get rid of my facial hair, the hair on my neck and my little shoulder hair also, not just my arm hair and the hair on my hands forever this year just to start with. If he knew this, oh what would he do. He even told me he thinks trans people are freaks and weirdos which I know is not true but it still bothers me. Why this even bothers him makes no sense to me.

[RobynD]

I can't accept ( but i believe it) that a  coworker like that would dare say something so dumb or even ask about it. Would you ask about his grooming details? nope.

At some point, you are going to have grounds to go to HR and claim harassment, because it could easily be called a hostile work environment.

Part of his transphobia could be his own confusion on such things. Nevertheless, it does not give him license to ask those sort of questions. Oh and when people give me unsolicited advice on groups of people like that, i also shut them down. Not interested in their opinions of others.

[Larisa]

I already once went to my boss about it. She my boss than went and reported it. He was told to stop it and like my boss had said, what he says could really start something hostile here at work. He did stop for a bit.

I dont have a problem that he doesnt understand. That I can deal with but the taunting and hate and this is like wow, what did I do to you? Im glad he doesnt know although by his talk, he probably suspects Im trans.

If he asked me a question politely, I would answer but this that he does is not just asking a question, he wants to create trouble or something. He even went so far to think it was weird that I wear necklaces.

[Deborah]

People at work have asked why I have long hair and wear a red or white watch band.  I just tell them because I like it.  One asked if I was going to do like Caitlyn Jenner.  I just said maybe I will and smiled. 

I guess I'm fortunate though because even though my work place is pretty conservative nobody speaks I'll of anyone else.  Being respectful is just part of the culture there.

I have no idea what anyone really thinks but the people that were friendly before are just as friendly now.  Everyone else just acts professionally.


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[KathyLauren]

Start documenting any time something like this happens: date, time, what he said, and whether there were any witnesses.  If you have to make a harassment claim to HR, having a log of the incidents will help them deal with it appropriately.

[Questioning in Iowa]

If people seem suspicious that you're shaving/waxing/epilating your body hair Just tell them that you first started doing it in high school because you were on the swim team and its just force of habit now. That's the excuse I use whenever people ask.

I wish I could start laser but I'm on accutane right now so I'll have to wait several months.

[BoringUsername]

Well first of all, asperger's is different than autism for the most part.  It's a spectrum and people with it can still function normally for the most part.  When it comes down to it, they still know right from wrong and harassment is harassment.