Rationalizing About Height

[itsApril]

The other day, this guy who was talking to me online was going on about how attractive he thought I was (knowing that I'm trans), but once I confessed how tall I am, he stated that he just sort of assumes that girls that are 5 ft 7+ are transsexual. He insisted that so many of the stares I mention getting must be grounded in people trying to figure out if I'm transsexual because of my height. It really hurt.

Ditch this guy.  He fronts off like he's being all understanding and supportive, but then brings up this BS about how people can't accept you.  And it's nonsense, too.  There are lots of tall women and nobody questions their gender identity.

His real goal is to undermine your self-confidence.  Maybe he's trolling you and doing it just to be mean.  Maybe he's attracted to you and hopes you'll be more interested in him if he can get you to doubt that others can accept you.  (There's a certain kind of toxic male who intentionally demeans women to weaken them and make them more dependent.)  Whatever the explanation, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life.  5'9-1/2" is a great height to be.  So hold your head up proud!

5'8" here.

[Sydney_NYC]

There are plenty of girls over 5'7". My mother is 5'11" and one of my step sisters is 5'10". So to assume an woman over 5'7" as trans is total BS. I'm 6'5¼" and my height has never outed me as being transgender. Cis-women all the time complement me on my height wishing they were as tall as me. Unless someone is looking for it (like this guy that is a ->-bleeped-<-), the last thing on anyones mind is someone being transgender. I haven't been mis-gendered by anyone who didn't know me before since May 2014. So height alone is not going to prevent you from passing. Remember it's a combination of looks (face), lack of facial hair, mannerisms, hair, voice, dress, etc that determines whether you are passing/blending or not. I don't consider height a factor on passing, but it is a factor on getting noticed. The taller you are more notice you are going to get and if you blending in those areas, you'll be getting noticed as a cis-woman, not as a trans woman.

[starting_anew]

I think it's the fact that trans women are more visible now, and people are actively "figuring out" if those they see are cis or trans. 

My beautiful cis female friend is 6 feet tall, and she has gotten asked a number of times if she's trans.  Honestly, she's about the most feminine woman I know, and could easily be a supermodel.  Would she have had the same experience 15-20 years ago?  Probably not. 

For what it's worth, I was super excited that I was beginning to pass consistently as female, and attributed a great deal of it to my voice and height (5'4"), and then on the train a gaggle of guys kept pointing to my adam's apple and calling me an "it."  There are countless features that could be pointed out as being masculine or feminine, and none are really definitive - there are, as we know, rare cis women who do have protruding adam's apples, just as there are cis women who are over 5'11".

Anyway, to me 5'9" is definitely not super tall by cis standards - I should get my cis friend to talk to you 😉 haha

[Gertrude]

There are plenty of girls over 5'7". My mother is 5'11" and one of my step sisters is 5'10". So to assume an woman over 5'7" as trans is total BS. I'm 6'5¼" and my height has never outed me as being transgender. Cis-women all the time complement me on my height wishing they were as tall as me. Unless someone is looking for it (like this guy that is a ->-bleeped-<-), the last thing on anyones mind is someone being transgender. I haven't been mis-gendered by anyone who didn't know me before since May 2014. So height alone is not going to prevent you from passing. Remember it's a combination of looks (face), lack of facial hair, mannerisms, hair, voice, dress, etc that determines whether you are passing/blending or not. I don't consider height a factor on passing, but it is a factor on getting noticed. The taller you are more notice you are going to get and if you blending in those areas, you'll be getting noticed as a cis-woman, not as a trans woman.

You are fortunate, but also a lot further along. You give hope. Thank you.


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[Stevi]

Don't let the height thing bother you.  I am 5'11'' (used to be 6'0" back in the day).  I am not much of a looker when out and about but I hold my head up and own it.  What really bothers me about my height is the corresponding shoe size.  Now that is the real bummer.

Stephanie

[Punzie]

Yeah, don't let your height get to you. I know a lot of girls who are barely 5' and they would kill to be taller. Most girls who even aspire to model are turned away for not being tall enough! There are its positives and negatives, but embracing the benefits of being tall is wonderful. I'm 5'8 and I love my long legs! If I was any shorter I'd feel disproportionate. As for that guy, to assume any girl that is over 5'7 to be trans is just ridiculous. There are loads of cis girls that are way taller and many of them look incredibly feminine ( 5'10 Vlada Roslyakova is a great example). If you think you are being stared at for just being tall, its most likely not the case unless you're in a huge crowd of people who are in the lower 5' range. Most people wont give it a second thought unless you have other features about you that stand out.

[Gertrude]

Yeah, don't let your height get to you. I know a lot of girls who are barely 5' and they would kill to be taller. Most girls who even aspire to model are turned away for not being tall enough! There are its positives and negatives, but embracing the benefits of being tall is wonderful. I'm 5'8 and I love my long legs! If I was any shorter I'd feel disproportionate. As for that guy, to assume any girl that is over 5'7 to be trans is just ridiculous. There are loads of cis girls that are way taller and many of them look incredibly feminine ( 5'10 Vlada Roslyakova is a great example). If you think you are being stared at for just being tall, its most likely not the case unless you're in a huge crowd of people who are in the lower 5' range. Most people wont give it a second thought unless you have other features about you that stand out.

On my dads side, the women were 4'11 and my grandfather was 5'1. They would tell me they wished I could loan them a few inches. My dad was 5'9 and he was the tallest in his family. His brothers were 5'4 and 5'5.


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[Wednesday]

As everyone said height is no issue when it comes to passability. There are plenty of girls above 5'7''. I'm 5'7'' and I would die for 3 or maybe 4 inches more.

Nowadays, specially for younger generations, average woman height is close to 5'7''. To me it's clear that boy was short and got an issue with tall women. Also to be honest he looks like a complete jerk, not worth a second of your time.

[Lyndsey]

Hey All

The younger generation sleeps half the day that is why they grow tall. Gravity does't stop them. The older generation we never slept in like they do.

Lyndsey

[Sydney_NYC]

Hey All

The younger generation sleeps half the day that is why they grow tall. Gravity does't stop them. The older generation we never slept in like they do.

Lyndsey

Well that explains why I'm so tall. I've always slept a lot. All this time I thought it was from starting to drink coffee when I was 13, LOL

[Lyndsey]

Well that explains why I'm so tall. I've always slept a lot. All this time I thought it was from starting to drink coffee when I was 13, LOL

Hi Sydney

OMG Your too funny! LOL!!

Lyndsey

[Lady_Oracle]

I'm not ever clocked for my height like its a non issue cause of my body type. People give compliments sometimes but it's not ever anything negative. I'm 5'9-5'10

[rosetyler]

once I confessed how tall I am, he stated that he just sort of assumes that girls that are 5 ft 7+ are transsexual. He insisted that so many of the stares I mention getting must be grounded in people trying to figure out if I'm transsexual because of my height. It really hurt.

I stopped reading right there, and had to comment before going any further.  I'm cis, and 5'11".  My cisgender mom and 2 cisgender sisters are both taller than I am.  That guy is....something else.  If he had said that in person I would have laughed in his face.  I have no more words, beyond don't let the dumbbutt haters get you down.  Rock your height, chica!!

[Lyndsey]

I stopped reading right there, and had to comment before going any further.  I'm cis, and 5'11".  My cisgender mom and 2 cisgender sisters are both taller than I am.  That guy is....something else.  If he had said that in person I would have laughed in his face.  I have no more words, beyond don't let the dumbbutt haters get you down.  Rock your height, chica!!

Hi Rose

I fully agree with you what a butt head that guy is.

Lyndsey

[in.Chains]

The person you're talking to is just full of it. I'm 5' 8.5" myself and I see plenty of women my height or taller on a daily basis. Hell, of my two younger sisters, one is the same height as me, and the other is taller.

[Gertrude]

Well that explains why I'm so tall. I've always slept a lot. All this time I thought it was from starting to drink coffee when I was 13, LOL

We had a neighbor that worked at a dairy that kept us in milk during growth spurt. I was drinking 1-2 quarts a day. I grew 5" in two months between 9th and 10th grade.


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[AmyC]

It's all relative really.  I'm 5'8" and regularly wear heels and my height is a non issue but prior to starting transition I was considered short for a guy in my  family (average is 6'2"-6'3").  I have a cis female cousin who is 6'1" and is only 15! So she's probably got some growing still to do.

It's easier said than done but I wouldn't let it bother you too much, as other people have said it's a combination of many different things that people use as markers to clock us, I know for me it's my voice that let's me down the most.  This guy's just a bit if a looser tbh!

[Lyndsey]

Hey Girls

Lets think for a minute, I'm on the very short side of things. Even when I wear 4" heels Im only 5'-7" so remember I will always look up to you Girls. 

Hug's Lyndsey

[michelle666]

My wife is 5' 10.5" and my ex is 5' 9.5" and both are CIS.

[Jessie Ann]

Please....I have two daughters who are 5' 11" and I am now about 6' 1" and my girls look very much like me.  I really love it when we go out together because everyone thinks I'm their mother. 

I am a professional (attorney) and I wear heals almost every day.  They range in size from 1" to 4".  The thing i love about them is that they actually make my feet look smaller so I will gladly take the extra height in exchange for the smaller foot look.

I am in LA and I see all kinds of tall women out here.  I could stand to lose an inch or two but all in all I'm pretty happy with my height.