Transitioning and staying pre-op

[RosannaP]

I am on hrt and working on transitioning to life as a full-time female. I plan on staying pre-op.

I read thru a lot of messages here and didn't see any mention of others in this situation. I realize that I am in a small minority by wanting to stay pre-op. I also realize that this might be a touchy subject. Is there a better place than this forum to find others in my situation?

[Sarah Louise]

Hi Rosanna,

Each of us have our own destination.  You pick what you want for yourself, there is nothing wrong with that.

Welcome to Susans.

Sarah L.

[Jessie_Heart]

Hi RosannaP

I haven'y seen alot of people around here in your situation and I don't know anywhere to tell you to go but I am in hopes that you don't decied not to be on here even if you find someplace different. Diversity is a good thing and I am sure that you would have unique view points and experiences to share there by enriching the entire community. even though I can't say that I understand you desires I find it interesting and if I am never given the opertunity to hear your feelings I will never have any chance to gain a better understanding. I wish you luck in your search for a place you feel comfortable but I also hope to still see you around here too. so I guess what I am saying is welcome and hopefully not goodbye!

Posted on: October 02, 2007, 06:20:30 PMsorry that is supposed to be I haven't seen.... I have these days sometimes!

[NickSister]

Hi RossanaP, nice to meet you.

I think what you will find here is that we all have a lot in common regardless of our personal situation (though I am sure there will be others like yourself here). Regardless of your situation I think you will discover a heap of people to discuss things with and help with problems. I don't think there are really any exclusive areas on this site. You see MtF's talking in the FtM forums, androgynes in the transsexual forums...I think you will find we are all generally accommodating and supportive of our differences.

I myself would love to hear your story.

See you around
Nick

[TheBattler]

Hi Rosanna,

Wellcome to Susans.

There is a great diversity here at susans. We are a community that cares for each other - hope you stay around.

Alice

[tinkerbell]

I am on hrt and working on transitioning to life as a full-time female. I plan on staying pre-op.

I read thru a lot of messages here and didn't see any mention of others in this situation. I realize that I am in a small minority by wanting to stay pre-op. I also realize that this might be a touchy subject. Is there a better place than this forum to find others in my situation?

The term is non-op.  I am sure there are many members here who share your feelings.  Just give them time to read your post and get to know you a wee bit better.

Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay And welcome to Susan's Rosanna (a name from my childhood )

tink

[RosannaP]

The term is non-op.  I am sure there are many members here who share your feelings.  Just give them time to read your post and get to know you a wee bit better.

tink

Yes, non-op is so much better.

I hope there are others in my situation here. It is difficult to talk about some things if no one can relate to it.

Thank you all for the lovely welcome.

[Robyn]

Hi, Rosanna,

There are many nonops in society, those who - by choice or by medical or financial circumstances - do not have SRS/GRS.  Nonops are no less women than postops.  They do, however, face legal problems in the USA, such as the inability to change gender marker with the Social Security Administration, Passport Office, and State Birth certificate offices.  Some are able to use a carefully worded surgeon's letter following an orchiectomy (MTF) to cross the legal sex divide.

I remember (before many of these identity hurdles arose following 9/11) deciding that I was non-op.  That lasted until the Submarine Base police detained me briefly following my use of the ladies room one day.  A day or two later, I called to set up my SRS consultation.  That was the straw that broke the camel's back. 

I, personally, have never regretted my decision.  I hope that you will be happy with yours but not be afraid to grow into surgery if it is meant to be.

Bright blessings.

Robyn

[mickiejr1815]

rosannaP

i believe i am kind of in your situation as well. i want to transition but just not yet. there are lots of reasons i won't transition anytime soon. like my wife's grandparents, i know how hurt they would be, they already told their three granddaughters that if any of them became lesbians they would be disowned. imo people should be respected for the type of person they are on the inside not what genitalia they have. what should matter is that the people involved are happy whether anybody else is happy about it or not. i also do not have any of the funding for any therapy, grs/srs but i would love to be able to live how i want to live in front of her family other than her sister(yeah she kinda knows and i think kinda understands) without having to be judged because of the shirt or shoes i am wearing....these reasons i only part time live my life as a woman because i don't want to lose the great family that i have acquired over the past 7 years.. so for now and many many many more years i will be non-op

[Suzy]

Hi Rosanna,

As you can see, we are a pretty diverse group.  I think your situation will be of help to all of us who get to know you.

Looking forward to what you have to say.

Welcome to Susan's!

Kristi

[HelenW]

Hi, Rosanna!  Welcome!

I too planned to be completely non-op, mostly for financial reasons, but a bad reaction to anti androgens has changed that scenario for me.  Since our identity and gender lie between our ears, what's between our legs matters little in who we really are.

I'm happy to make your acquaintance and hope we'll see more from you soon and often!

hugs & smiles
Emelye

[Jordan]

Rosanna I am also transistioning and non-op by choice!!!

I have realised that although I technically fall into being a Transsexual

I have also adopted the term:  M2F Androgyne because I feel I am both a man and a woman but choose to present as a woman.

Send me a message sometime I too have been on this site for a while trying to find other like me!

[cindianna_jones]

Rosanna,

There is much that pulls us together here and oddly enough, surgery is just a minor item in that list. So don't worry about that aspect of your concerns.  Don't be afraid to post questions, observations, or personal experiences.  We love to share and help each other.

Cindi

[Wing Walker]

Welcome to Susan's, Rosanna.

You've already been informed of the diversity among us here so please feel comfortable.

I began my transition in 2002 and if all goes well I expect to have my surgery in June 2008.  That is my choice, the point at which I will finally feel pretty.  Had things not gone my way I might well be living as non-op because of the money, in my case.

I identify as transsexual, F to F. 

There is much that we can share in here, talk about our jobs, our rights in the workplace, our relationships, how we're treated by family, and just about anything else that a woman can encounter in contemporary society.  Bring it here and let's talk.

I have not yet had my surgery and I have identified as a woman in my heart for over 50 years but the start of my Real Life Experience was May 2004.  I had my name changed every place that I could and I had the gender marker changed on my driver's license.  All of my documents except my passport, birth certificate, and Social Security account show "F."

Enjoy your time here and don't think twice about broaching any subject.

Wing Walker

[BCL]

Its in your heart and mind whats important.

Not between your legs.

Rebecca

[nickie]

Rosanna, actually, you aren't in the minority. According to what we know, only about 10% of transsexuals actually end up being post op. I think for most people, money is the issue. At least, that's where I'm at right now, but have started saving up for that. Good luck!

[LivingInGrey]

Welcome to Susan's and good luck.

I'm sure you'll find plenty of people in your situation as Tink said, it might take some time.

Enjoy.

[JodieBlonde]

I spite of my avatar over there (<—), I still am not and don't want to go all the way.

I can present as female...and have sometimes..but that is the exception.

I prefer Andro as my definition. I developed some substantial breast growth as a side-effect to migraine treatments as male, and my (deceased) first wife loved my boobs so much, we found a whole new horizon for sexual expression and attitudes.

She started dressing me in clothing that I didn't have the foggiest on how to co-ordinate. She made me a tramp in bed and behind closed doors, a lady on the streets and driving my car.

I learned heels, pantyhose, bras, bustiers, waxing, makeup, poise, culture and attitude.

My hair grows well and full and my skin is soft and supple. Legs are about naked of hair now and I have the "golden triangle" in the pubic hair area. Body hair is almost non-existent and fine as a frog's.

I find a duality in thinking processes and can cry at the drop of an emotional hat.

But I digress to also say that my mom was the first to dress me so...and I really liked the softer sex a lot more than the buy-side that was my birth heritage. Those days were in crinolines and Buster Browns and leggings and spit curls. I loved it.

Nowadays I like the way I am...hopefully you find your own space...but remember it's what blows your skirts that really matters...to YOU! and only you.

[Jeannette]

only about 10% of transsexuals actually end up being post op.

I'm among that 10%.  I've been fulltime for quite a few years now, but GRS is my ultimate goal.  I couldn't stay pre-op forever.  Work is one of my obstacles as it takes my entire time.  Recovering from GRS takes time so I've got to plan carefully; set up my source of income for the amount of time recovery will take, arrange dates with my corporate manager so that I can keep my job in the same position where I'm now, save some more money as I plan to have my surgery done in the US or Canada.  Set up my stay in the US or Canada during my recovery time.  It isn't easy when one lives so far away so any decisions I make have to be carefully planned.

[Keira]

Since there's so little stats about TS, I'm really wondering were the 10% come from?
Something pulled out of a hat?