Dysphoria

[Belial]

Anybody care to share their dysphoria experience and how do you try to cope with it?

[FTMax]

My dysphoria has evolved as my transition has gone through stages. Pre-everything I mostly had social dysphoria. I didn't like being seen as female, I didn't like having female characteristics that identified me to other people, hated my voice even though it was already fairly low, etc. I started binding at 17, and maintained a fairly androgynous look that helped a little bit. Coming out and telling my friends and family helped a lot initially, as they all made a big effort to use the right name and pronouns.

Starting T helped me get over a lot of the social issues I was having. I also mentally felt better and had more confidence, so I was largely able to shake the social anxiety I had developed. Once my voice dropped, I started having more issues with my chest. By that point I had been binding for 8 years and I was just done. Exhausted is probably the best word for it. Don't get me wrong - it definitely helped me feel better and helped me cope, but ultimately it took a huge toll on my body and mental state that I didn't realize until after the fact.

I had top surgery and that solved that. And now I have bottom dysphoria. There is really nothing else left about myself that I hate. I initially hadn't wanted any kind of bottom surgery beyond a hysto, but it is a must for me now. I've had some decent growth on T, but at the end of the day it still is what it is and not what it should be. I imagine I'll feel a lot better once that's taken care of. In the mean time, I pack 24/7.

[Kylo]

My dysphoria evolved from hating my body in my teens to almost flat-out ignoring it now.

My social dysphoria manifested as an intense dislike of being hit on, complimented on appearance, and having people act like I need help with something. This evolved into an almost complete disinterest in sex, anti-social tendencies and teaching myself how to do pretty much everything I might possibly need to do.

Not sure how I coped really, other than by ignoring and avoiding what causes issues. Until recently ofc, since I am in the process of applying to transition and get hormones.

[Belial]

For a long time (until now) I was under "true ts" dysphoria limit. So I labelled myself as between, agender, bigender etc.

I'm rethinking those limitations now. For a long time I think I had the social dysphoria (even while in "denial") and go on ignoring my body (I really hate also looking at my photos and mirrors).

[2fish]

I didn't have much dysphoria. I passed as male since 15. I didn't find out what trans was until 16. That's when I started binding. Fast forward to 25 and I decided to transition. I got on T and the chest dysphoria was pretty bad. Sometimes slept in my binder....don't do that, you'll have major back pain. I had my top surgery at 9 months on T. I don't have bottom dysphoria but I do plan on having a simple release when I'm much older. I'll be 27 next month so maybe in my 50's I'll do it, who knows. lol Right now I like what t has done for me so I'm happy.

[Matthew]

I'd say mine hits all 3- social, mental and physical

Socially I get anxiety around other men where I feel I may not fit in due to femme socialisation, and not being seen as a man (even though I am stealth to most and pass 100%).

Mental dysphoria I'd class as my reactions to things - any time I feel a strong negative emotion it makes me feel weak and less a man.

Physical is fairly self explanatory. I've worn a binder every day for around 18 months and can't leave the house in less than two. I pack every day, I also make efforts to lower my voice as it's in the male range but still too high for me to be comfortable. (I was born intersexed but socialised/raised femme)

[November Fox]

I´m pre-T so my dysphoria is still closely linked to the female hormone balance going on. The hormones tend to alter my mood, both negatively and positively, which means that sometimes I have terrible, killer dysphoria and at another time I´m pretty much able to ignore everything and breeze through life. The extremes are really annoying.

Since I fashioned myself my own binder that works like a charm, though, top dysphoria is mostly gone. Only bothers me when I have to take it off. The bottom dysphoria is the one that really nags at me.

I used to have a lot of social dysphoria but that´s pretty much gone - although I still feel very self conscious at times. During shark week social dysphoria tends to come back because I look more feminine. 

I haven´t really found The Perfect Way of dealing with it, when it gets too bad I take a calming medicine, exercise, and try not to focus on what I hate.

My voice is very low so I have no problem speaking with people, and I also generally appear very male, when I dress in ample clothes. Sometimes when I laugh though, it comes out as this high-pitched thing. I can handle it, thankfully I frequently laugh at the internet, when there´s no one around