You can't always get a good bead on people's reactions, even when they say some truly heinous stuff. My parents, I was absolutely certain they could not deal. When I was little, my dad used to tell us that if we came out as gay or if we dated outside of our "race" then we could expect to be disowned. He dehumanized trans people in stories and on television, and his reaction to Caitlyn Jenner was uncharitable at best. Mum cried when the Obergefell decision came down, because it caused so much dissonance within her. She wanted to see people happy, but she couldn't think it right.
I came out to them, knowing all those things, and the first thing they said was that they loved me and wanted me to be happy. Things took a bit of a dip for a month or two after that, we had lots of long and tearful conversations where they wanted me to "verify" my trans street cred before they would sign off. Then, like clouds parting, things got better. I stuck to my guns, and kept transitioning at my own pace. They accepted they couldn't control this, and that if they were to remain in my life, they would have to deal. They went to therapy, worked through their anxieties and issues. And things are great. I stayed with them over Christmas, and they used my proper pronouns. They've bought me proper girl clothes! They're interested and invested in my HRT.
The take aways are these:
1) Your parents are complex people. The opinions they express at arms length, while watching television or reacting to people in the world, are not necessarily the opinions they'll hold when it's you. It's easy to turn away your children in a hypothetical scenario, but something else entirely to do it in reality. It could still happen, can't lie on that front, but you never know until you try.
2) They need to know that you are in control, and you will exert that control with your presence. You don't have to have a relationship with anyone as an adult, even your parents. All associations are voluntary. When my parents were in the weeds, I distanced myself, and that scared them into a better place. It's scary, but once you're in touch with yourself, it's possible. Be prepared to lose them, and you're less likely to lose them forever.
3) Out is better. It's not an absolute, but living in the closet, even for the short time I did so when being out in my own head, is hell. It's anxiety and paranoia on repeat. Life may get rough, ties may unravel or break, but that's not just in LGBT land... that's life. Don't turn your back on your own life due to the fear of someone else's anger.
