Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

Unexpected reaction to my colleague's TMI share

Started by Ms Grace, January 06, 2016, 04:24:55 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Ms Grace

So there's this lovely woman who I work with - in the seven months I've been in the job I've grown close to her and we get along really well. She's very friendly, is bi/pan/queer (not sure which) sexual  and has sometimes flirted with me in a fun way and I can't deny that it hasn't crossed my mind if she and I could ever become "a thing". I do like her quite a lot, she is very spunky and, as I said, I think she's lovely... but I can't say I feel any attraction for her. It's a weird feeling, to appreciate and love someone but not want to get intimate with them. I've noticed that quite a bit lately with my female friends... I think it's the estrogen and low testosterone speaking as I literally have zero libido right now.

And yet... first day back at work today for both of us... I was talking to another woman in the lobby when my colleague walks in, she is, as is the case most days, in a good mood but something feels tangibly different, like she's in a really good mood. The woman I was talking to, who also knows my colleague, asks her how her holiday was - the response? "Great! (pause) I got laid!" She laughed and dashed off to the elevator.

I caught the lift up with her and learned that her fling was with another woman - and I have to say I had a very strange reaction to the news overall, one I don't think I've felt before. I wasn't jealous - like I said, I don't feel a strong sexual attraction to her and it's awesome if she can get laid... it obviously had made her very happy! It's weird though; I could sense her sexual vibe - if that makes any sense whatsoever. I could sense her joy and it made me feel sad that I'd never be able to have that kind of experience... even with GRS there's still a few things missing from under the hood, like a G spot and a variety of other awesome inside bits and functions. I know I could still have a really awesome sexual experience - GRS or no GRS - but in that moment I really wanted what she was having!!

I didn't feel jealous of her and her fun sexy times experience - I felt sad for myself. I wasn't devastated and didn't need to cry or anything, and I could still have a laugh along with her and feel happy for her but I did feel sad. Never had that experience before... I can't say I liked it much.

Sheesh.

No worries, I'm fine now! :)
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
  •  

suzifrommd

Quote from: Ms Grace on January 06, 2016, 04:24:55 AM
I felt sad for myself. I wasn't devastated and didn't need to cry or anything, and I could still have a laugh along with her and feel happy for her but I did feel sad. Never had that experience before... I can't say I liked it much.

Hugs, Grace. This is a place I've been a few times lately myself. Not so much jealousy as mourning - mourning the loss of my attractiveness and my eligibility as a romantic partner.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
  •  

Laura_7

Well if people get laid with a person they like it can give them new energy  :)

One thing might be making use of it more often... like thinking of it, appreciating it, maybe reading nice stories...
this might make for some desire...

some people go to their docs and ask for viagra... or topical testosterone gel..

finetuning of hormone levels might also help... and maybe adding bioidentical progesterone...

Quote
I could sense her joy and it made me feel sad that I'd never be able to have that kind of experience... even with GRS there's still a few things missing from under the hood, like a G spot and a variety of other awesome inside bits and functions.

-there are studies showing that with the influence of estrogen a neovagina can turn nto a mucosa. So its the real thing.
-after GRS the prostate stays in place making for a p/gspot... the prostate is of the same tissue and hooked up via a second neuronal pathway, like the gspot. Experiences are described very similar.
-its even possible the inside has more nerves depending on material used.


hugs
  •  

Laura_7

Quote from: suzifrommd on January 06, 2016, 06:53:12 AM
Hugs, Grace. This is a place I've been a few times lately myself. Not so much jealousy as mourning - mourning the loss of my attractiveness and my eligibility as a romantic partner.

Keep believing that it is possible. Let bygones be bygones and look forwards, there are always possibilities in the future.

If you are a nice person you have something to offer.
Its not only outer things at least 50% are also personality...


*hugs*
  •  

stephaniec

wow, everyday I walk outside into the street I feel the sting of loneliness. I live in a collage town and so many youngins  walking around holding hands getting ready for life, I wish I knew how to stop the feeling of desiring another's hand in mind.
  •  

Arch

FWIW, I still don't know what a G-spot really is, and I'm not sure that it does anything for a lot of women. I obviously can't be considered a typical woman, but I supposedly had all the same anatomy...and I don't think it did anything for me.

I get the sadness. Even if I get a reasonable outcome from phalloplasty, I think I'll stay a bottom, but I don't have a prostate. I'll never experience what other gay bottoms experience.

Maybe it's better to never have it than to have it and lose it? Anyway, it is what it is, and I try not to dwell on it too much.

Not too much.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
  •  

Catherine Sarah

Hi Grace,
Quote from: Ms Grace on January 06, 2016, 04:24:55 AM
..........  even with GRS there's still a few things missing from under the hood, like a G spot and a variety of other awesome inside bits and functions..........

Not quite so. With a few post op minor modifications, you too can go to where she has gone. I'll explain later. Perhaps after dinner

Speak to you as soon as I bring the milk in

Huggs
Catherine




If you're in Australia and are subject to Domestic Violence or Violence against Women, call 1800-RESPECT (1800-737-7328) for assistance.
  •  

Lyndsey

Hi Girls

Before I had GRS I had know sex drive at all and my whole life has been like this. I also I guess if you had asked me at the time when I was younger I would have said that I was attracted to women as isn't that how it was suppose to be as a young man. I really never knew in my heart were I ever was all I did know was I didn't feel ever in my life that I was a man. After years of covering up the inevitable I came out to all and started my transition M+F and have never been so happy and calm in my life. Well after SRS for me my whole outlook on life has changed. I actually have a boy friend now and have been together for a while now. I Never thought that I could ever have sexual feeling for anyone as I really never new my whole life what everyone else was feeling. One day after GRS I woke one morning to the most wonderful feeling that I have ever had and I was very confused as to what the heck just happened to me. Me being Blonde called my Doctor and she started laughing and said that I had just felt and orgasm in which I have never In my life had ever experienced. WOW! This is something completely new to me and have tried many times after to find that spot in my dreams that did that to me. Well I had started dating my boy friend in August of 2015 I had never thought in a million years that I would ever have heart felt feelings for anyone like this and I do for him. On Christmas  night he stayed with me and when he cuddled me in his arms it was one of the most wonderful feelings that I have ever had. I think that if I was a cat you would have heard me purring. He had got me going in the middle of the night and WOW it happened again. Now I know what it can be all about. We I still have not slept together the way people mite think the way that I wrote this but I'm not ready for that. I need a lot of time as this is all new to me and I'm not a tramp.

Hugs
Lyndsey
Lyndsey Marie Burke- Started my journey February 2011 Full time on May 5th 2014 HRT June 6th 2014 Name change and on all records and court documents June 20th 2014 SCS October 20th 2015 with Doctor Marci Bowers in Burlingame California I'm a very Happy women and finally living what I should have been living my whole life. Expect the unexpected. I feel Blessed. Love, Live, Be Happy. Be safe.
  •  

Laura_7

Quote from: Arch on January 06, 2016, 11:37:06 AM
FWIW, I still don't know what a G-spot really is

Here is more info:
www.friskybusinessboutique.com/her-other-sweet-spot-pleasure-in-the-key-of-g/
Its a rare site where a lot is explained...

Quote
I get the sadness. Even if I get a reasonable outcome from phalloplasty, I think I'll stay a bottom, but I don't have a prostate. I'll never experience what other gay bottoms experience.

Yes you do. Anal stimulation might also stimulate the gspot, its the same tissue and people report they like it and its similar to stimulation of the prostate. You might try different angles and depths.

And concerning GRS... well nobody knows what the future brings but science makes all kind of progress... who knows what will be possible in a few years... you might have some hope for the future  :)


*hugs*
  •  

iKate

The only real jealousy and longing I have these days is pregnancy and childbirth.

But I kind of feel your pain. I feel inadequate at times because I can't have these things. But it's a better place than I was, so there is that.
  •  

stephaniec

I always look at it that yea, it would be great to be structurally the same, the same configuration , but the reality is the nerve endings and the skin and the sensation of heroin are the same whether your structurally M or F. Orgasm might be a little different , but it's the same feeling. You rub your skin against another it doesn't matter the sensation is the same. In philosophy there is a proposition of how  one perceives. Can you ever really sense an object as it is in itself or can you only sense subjectively. You can't sense the innateness of the other only the subjective senses of one's own innateness. It doesn't matter the form of the structure penetrating or penetrated , it's the surface area being exposed to the sensation. You can only subjectively feel your own nerve endings , so no matter what structure you create you only feeling the surface area. What I'm trying to say it really doesn't matter as long as the nerve endings are functioning. Sorry, I think I left the track.
  •  

iKate

I thought that orgasm was the same due to how the brain changes.
  •  

stephaniec

orgasm , brain same thing, like pumping electrons to produce a laser.
  •  

Lyndsey

Quote from: iKate on January 06, 2016, 01:46:48 PM
I thought that orgasm was the same due to how the brain changes.

Hi Kate

No it is real!! Believe me it is real!!!!!

Lyndsey
Lyndsey Marie Burke- Started my journey February 2011 Full time on May 5th 2014 HRT June 6th 2014 Name change and on all records and court documents June 20th 2014 SCS October 20th 2015 with Doctor Marci Bowers in Burlingame California I'm a very Happy women and finally living what I should have been living my whole life. Expect the unexpected. I feel Blessed. Love, Live, Be Happy. Be safe.
  •  

Arch

Quote from: Laura_7 on January 06, 2016, 12:50:12 PM
Here is more info:
www.friskybusinessboutique.com/her-other-sweet-spot-pleasure-in-the-key-of-g/
Its a rare site where a lot is explained...

I'll check it out, but I don't expect to learn anything I didn't already know. I meant that I know what the G-spot is in the textbook sense, but I don't seem to have any responses that correspond to it. And after thirty-five years of playing around with both toys and other people, I don't really expect to find such a spot in my innards. I thought that maybe the same thing that made my brain trans also messed around with that part of my body.

I just had hysto; maybe when I'm fully recovered, I'll find some new sensations. But I'm not holding my breath.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
  •