Strangers and niceness

[purplewuggybird]

Has anyone else experienced random strangers (as well as friends) being nicer to you while transitioning? Just wondering about this as it is very interesting to me. 


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[Deborah]

Yes.  I sometimes wonder about it.

Are they seeing me as I wish to be seen?

Or

Am I projecting happiness and getting it in return.


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[Ms Grace]

I think it is likely to happen if you are happy and confident in yourself. People seem more attracted to, and more likely to respond positively to, someone who is feeling good with them self.

[Shandril]

Do they know your transitioning i guess is the biggest question, i myself am going through this at work.

The women i work with are being extra social, my manager is male and oddly i think hes kinda got a man crush on me lol.

Im not out yet maybe never who knows but i definitely act more femme now than before i outted myself to my wife.

I definitely agree its a special aura once you become happier with yourself both aesthetically ( i wear light makeup 24/7 now) and mentally ( i relate better to women now fashion wise and just in general carry on more conversations) that it acts as a sort of magnet, people feel more comfortable around you and thus interact differently than if your just another guy on the floor so to speak.

Best of luck to you it has been a rewarding experience for me so far other than the odd nigjtmare about being outted unintentionally.

~Shan~

[RobynD]

i have seen the exact same thing. I assumed it was because i was happier and it showed socially.

[Mariah]

Grace I think it on the nose. it really does come down to how friendly and how you are perceived altogether. Hugs
Mariah

[Emjay]

I think so too, you get back what you give.  If that's happiness and positivity then you get it in return for the most part.

I've seen this at work too since going FT.  I had someone at work stop me last week and tell me that he really liked the "new me".  He said I'm just so much more outgoing and friendly versus how I carried myself before.

I don't think I was nasty or anything before but I did have um......  stuff...... on my mind.... 

[Tessa James]

I came out very publicly (front page in the daily paper) in early 2013 and have not regretted it.  I like being approachable and helping each other understand more about the reality of people being transgender.  I have become more sociable and worry less each day about being passable.  I assume that I am not and that I am an obviously TG person.  I have found the vast majority of people respond very positively.  Women smile and chat.  People often consider us brave and courageous and some will be supporting the underdog in an unfair world. 

Sometimes it can be annoying and early on every one seemed to have make up and style advice.  Many people have simply stated they were glad I am out and feel so obviously happy about it.  Others want to help and demonstrate their acceptance of diversity.  Some want to "come out" for themselves or people they know.  I meet new trans and queer people regularly and this is a rural area.  Yes, people really are nice especially when we share a smile and outgoing niceness too.

[sparrow]

I find that when I'm dressed more feminine, strangers are more responsive to my displayed emotions.  If I'm smiling, men and women both tend to smile at me more.  If my face is relaxed, I look like an angry sumb... and I get seriously dirty looks.  I always wonder what's in people's heads when they see me.

[Deborah]

I wonder too.  But one thing I have been noticing for months is that lots of women smile at me.  Maybe this was happening before and I never noticed because I was too self absorbed in feeling miserable all the time.


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[Cindy]

I wonder too.  But one thing I have been noticing for months is that lots of women smile at me.  Maybe this was happening before and I never noticed because I was too self absorbed in feeling miserable all the time.


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Oh yes women always give a little smile to each other. I find it lovely. And my reaction to young children, I often smile or stand back as they stagger, to proudly tell the world, 'watch this mummy'. Of course Mum looks harassed but always gives the knowing smile back.

[suzifrommd]

Has anyone else experienced random strangers (as well as friends) being nicer to you while transitioning? Just wondering about this as it is very interesting to me. 

I think it's their way of telling me they support me. I quite liked it back then.

Don't like it so much anymore because it tells me I've been clocked, but I still appreciate the sentiment.

[Kova V]

yes, and I'll take that kind of nice any day of the week!! Especially when I know there are people that are jerks to me for the same reason!

[TG CLare]

Some people give me strange looks and others are nice. No judging people but I find some people are curious but hesitant to ask anything. Ask away and I'll be glad to help you understand. If a child looks at me, I'll smile back.

Love,
Clare