Allie,
Welcome. Great support available here.
Your story is fairly familiar to many of us. Not suggesting "ho, hum, heard it before'. Just I think there are some things in what you have posted that I can relate to and I think many others on this site.
Don't be afraid to ask questions. I still have regrets about realizing so "late". However, the phrase it is never too late is used a lot. I am trying to embrace it. Because, it is never too late to to make your life better.
Wishing you love, acceptance and a smooth journey.
With warmth,
Joanna