pretty much exactly yes - when i came out to myself and others it was like relief at first, but then all these new troubles came along. the big difference is these things can be fixed whereas staying in the closet and staying miserable can't really fix anything. You've already done the first step
I'm also just at the beginning, and so far I've just been trying to break everything down into small steps to make it manageable. I would say the first easy thing for you to do, aside from finding a gender therapist, would be haircut and clothes. you could split the haircut thing into two steps if you feel like your family will be shocked - i.e. go short but femme, and then a go shorter and masculine a short time later to soften the blow. the same thing with clothes, move towards gender neutral, and that way when you come out to others, you might get less chat about 'but you're wearing.... ' You might also be surprised by how little stir a 'boy' haircut and clothes might make as androgynous fashion is getting quite popular lol
As for your family there are a lot of reversible things you can do to give yourself confidence before they need to know. You don't have to throw yourself in the deep end immediately. You could wait til after you've had a chance to talk to a therapist and plot out your options and plans - that way you'll be able to answer the questions they'll probably have.
