FTM bathroom help :(

[ManInTheAngryChair]

Hi,
Just experienced my first 'bathroom problem' and I need to talk to people
Basically, I usually go to Mcdonalds for breakfast, been going there about once/twice a week for probably over a month now, and have been using the female toilets without anyone saying anything to my face.
I'm 17, pre everything, don't even have a binder (I've ordered a cheap one to see how I feel about it though  ) or a packer (parents would be disgusted/ridicule me) and I'm really short (5'2), but I do have a male haircut and dress male. Basically, I'm amazed that I can pass at all.

So, I'm washing my hands and I see this female worker glaring at me. I turn around to walk out the door and she goes 'Are you a boy?' and I awkwardly stuttered 'no' after a few seconds (real convincing  ) and then she goes 'sorry, I had to ask, as a few days ago a woman said she saw a boy going into the women's toilets'  So now I'm stuck in a situation where I can't go in the women's room because people will think I'm trying to perv, and I'm too scared to go in the men's as I'm worried about someone saying something, but if I'm passing without much real effort, I feel it would be safer to use the men's? Disabled toilets aren't an option always as you sometimes need a key to get in them. I feel people would suspect something if I suddenly switched bathrooms though, and also the parents would have quite a few issues if I was out with them.

But now I just fell crap and dysphoric and it's ruined my day. Guess I just needed to tell someone, and ask, how do other guys here deal with this?

Tom.

[GarryLynn]

I've had the same problem recently too I would say try using the males restroom. No one usually says anything and it's strange someone did. For me I'm an mtf and if I went to the guys bathroom they'd flip and the girls don't usually mind but don't say anything. Since you have breasts and no binder and I'm assuming have a female voice you shouldn't really have an issue going to the female restroom but try going to the male restroom 👍🏼👍🏼

[FTMax]

Men generally do not look at each other or speak to each other in the restroom. You will probably be read as a really young guy. Obviously use your gut though. If you walk in, and you don't feel comfortable because there are too many people or the stall is taken, leave and come back.

My feeling as an FTM is that once someone in the ladies room asks you if you're in the right place, it's time to switch.

[Moneyless]

I have the same issue, I just try to avoid public bathrooms and make sure I go before I go anywhere, I literally haven't used a female nor male public restroom since cutting my hair, but I don't go out that much. I'd say go to the male though, you'd probably be seen as a young boy. When I went to get a haircut (a trim, my hair was already sort), the hairdresser was super surprised when I told her I was 17, she thought I was just starting high school (you start highschool at 12 here), and she told me I have a cute baby face and she's sure the girls fall for me. I have no idea how my voice didn't give it away, but I'll take it lol. I'm also short, around 5'3.

My psychologist tells me to use the male restrooms though, as long as it all looks safe. He says a lot of his patients who are in my position do and they don't have any issues. People will just assume you're a feminine looking guy, they won't think "oh wow that's a girl dressing up as a guy in the guys bathroom.", or think you're trans.

[GammaHunter]

I've faced something like this, and it was in a McDonalds as well. I was there with my family, and normally if I'm in public, I don't go to the bathroom, or I wait until I can find a unisex one. That wasn't an option this time, so I got up and went, and I just didn't feel confident enough to try going into the male restrooms, so I went into the female one. On the way in, I bumped into this girl, and I quickly mumbled an apology, and she looked at me weirdly and said "You do know this is the girls' room, right?" and I just panicked, and said "Yes". She didn't say anything else, and very quickly got out of there, and when I was in the stall, I burst out laughing. I tend to deal with these things by finding it funny at their confusion, and also it kind of cheered me up. This happens a lot, which I take as a compliment, since I seem to pass easily, which I never thought would happen, as I'm 4'11, and rather curvy.

I'm fairly confident with everything else, except bathrooms. I'll go there, look at the two doors, and I just can't do it. I don't know why.

[Valwen]

As another poster said the mens room is sorta a no conversation zone under 99% of circumstance. Aside from like, really long lines at a convention or something no one talks to eachother more than a word or two. Even good friends rarely say more than that to each other.

The ladies room is a bit more social but not as much as teen comedy would have you belive. In both cases confidence and focus seem to work really well to put people at ease. Just walk in like you belong there, try not to freeze up if someone looks at you and do what you need to do. I also find that in the womens toilets a Smile is magic, a simple reassureing smile seems to erase minor doubts and concerns.

Personally my only bathroom fears are audio, I dont feel my voice passes and I am always concerned to talk in there.

Serena

[Tysilio]

My feeling as an FTM is that once someone in the ladies room asks you if you're in the right place, it's time to switch.

This. For me, once I knew I was being read as male everywhere else, it just made sense to switch. After the first 2-3 times I stopped thinking about it.

[Hecknado]

Yeah, I've had these problems. Second day at new high school, new area, I was menstruating, and could NOT leave anything red stained in the guys. So I used the girls at the lowest peak time, as I was washing my hands this girl walked in and said "This is the girls!" So I swore, said sorry and walked out. She said "I won't tell anyone" sorta laughing. Now, at school I use the unisex bathroom in the nurse bay which is a pain so usually I don't go.
Other than school, if I'm out, I will not use any bathroom as much as I can. If I'm with parents I'd have to slip away to use the guys and if alone I'd use the guys. Haven't done that yet, so I'm in the same tricky situation.